Hi. I need to let off some steam about my dh's cousin (it might be a long one) She's really getting to me and driving me crazy to the point were I don't want to be around her anymore, especially after what she said yesterday). My dh thinks I'm overreacting a little but he's not the one having to listen to it all and put up with all the drama.
So from the beginning. Me and my husband have two ds's one age 8 and one age 7. Our 7 year old is diagnosed ADHD,Spd,Gdd. Life for us is very hard (I wouldn't usually admit that to anyone but it is) and has been since our youngest was around two years old. Everything has changed for us, our jobs, our friends, our connection to family and even our home. I love my son unconditionally and wouldn't change him for the world and don't blame anyone for the way things have turned out. I also understand that other people's problems, especially to them are just that, their problems and they shouldn't be diminished. In other words usually I wouldn't ever think that people aren't allowed a moan or a rant just because their life may be perceived to be easier than mine and my dh's. However i do make an exception when it comes to my dh's cousin. I'm fully expecting to be told I'm being unreasonable but here goes.
So like I've already said we have two boys. My dh works full time, I work part time but i'm on the verge of packing it all in as I'm being called into school every week to deal with our ds and it can't continue. My dh's cousin took a liking to me when we first met years ago but it's only been the last couple of years were we've started to see each other outside of the usual family get togethers. She doesn't live far from us so she will sometimes turns up unannounced.
She is a "single" mum to three children. The reason I've put single like that is because whilst she may technically be one on paper, in reality she isn't. She still sees her children's father daily, even when the children aren't there. He takes the children one night during the week and then from 4pm Friday until 6pm Sunday. She is out on the town every week, goes out lunching/shopping with friends and has plenty of me time. She doesn't work, just a few hours with an agency here and there yet she has a decent quality of life and gets to be her and not just mum.
Now I know what you're thinking, I'm just jealous, but I'm not. I wouldn't ever dream of commenting on someone's else's life as what they do is up to them and quite frankly usually I wouldn't give a damn but on this occasion I feel like screaming.
My husband's cousin isn't very tactful and just says things without thinking it through first but she's out of order. All she goes on about how hard her life is as a single parent and that anyone who isn't "doing it all alone" couldn't possibly understand how tough life can be. She has gone on like his for months and has even taken to Facebook looking for sympathy posting that she's a hard working single mum who does her kids proud but how hard it is coping alone and anyone who isn't on there own couldn't possibly understand.
Now she knows how my family have had it of late and that my husband and older son especially have been struggling to cope with our youngest's behaviour, but up until recently I hadn't really said anything, as one she doesn't seem like she cares anyway and two I can never get a bloody word in edge ways.
So she came round yesterday for a cuppa and i'd had a particularly bad few days with our ds as I'd been called into school every day and he also broke my nose by head butting me backwards in the middle of a meltdown. My nose is strapped and I'm in quite a bit of pain but she never mentioned anything or asked if I was ok. Instead she sat on my couch and did nothing but moan about how her kids were driving her crackers and that she's exhausted as she never get a break. When we eventually did get on to me and my life she had the nerve to say yes but at least you have a partner here all the time to help you and it can't be as bad as her situation as she's on her own all of the time. I explained that my dh works 1pm-11pm Monday through Friday and works every other Saturday (which she already knows) so in fact I'm on my own a lot of the time but she just scoffed, and said oh he's home on a Sunday though isn't he and you get a few hours together every morning before he goes to work. She then went on to say how I've only got two kids not three like her and having three is so much harder.
So Aibu to have wanted to slap her or at the very least chuck her out of my house (I don't know how I didn't). I understand that being a single parent must be hard going and i have the utmost respect for parents who do it alone but she is really taking the piss! She may be a single person/woman but she is most definitely not a single parent. She gets to spend half the week with her kids but then they go to their father's house half the time too. She goes out twice a week, I go out twice a year. She has time to completely switch off, I can't even do that even when I'm at work as I'm always getting calls from school/after school club. I would never dismiss another persons concerns or problems but she really doesn't understnsd the meaning of a hard life, and for her to imply that my life is a walk in the park just because I have a partner and only have two kids instead of three is an absolute joke. I never and I mean never put my problems onto other people unless they're happy to hear them as I don't like to burden people, and I certainly don't post on Facebook looking for sympathy. Our life is what it is and it's not going to change anytime soon, I accept that. But why can't my dh's cousin accept that she's out of order saying the things she does and in fact she has it quite easy in comparison to genuine single parents who do it alone with no or very little help. So tell me aibu here?