to be upset with H

[Pendu]

?

Uff no idea what I see in him right now. Honestly he is like two different people. Some days I could happily bump him off end it , then everything is just fine again and he is normal. He just lhas a massive ego - he KNEW he was wrong because he immediately went on the defence when I saw him after and went overboard blaming me.

This isn't the start - he's a prize tit on and off . His argument for missing the scan is that he find work very important (it's true - ive never known anyone with a work ethic like him, he will always do above and beyond what his bosses ask him and has earned a good reputation as he will go to work literally dying rather than let anyone down) and he thinks providing = love , not all the fluffy hand holding etc. Bur then he goes over the line, I recon he thought I would have a quicky scan then get the DC - he lives in cloud cuckoo land

It's in his culture to be a shit to his wife? What "culture" is that then?

So you know this is how he is?

You're having a baby with a complete giant dickhead. Bad news.

What would he do if you were also working with that kind of "work ethic", leave the dc uncollected? Hope he's prepared to (jointly) foot the bill for a nanny if you want to pursue a career too... If he can't get past the idea that all family logistics and organising is down to you and all childcare.. Doesn't sound good.

I've often said (when he berates me) that I'm happy to quit studying and my "part time" work and work full time, and he can handle 50% of the school runs/ doctors/meetings/sick days. The DC aren't his , which just adds to it sometimes - when my ex won't commit to contact times my H thinks I shouldn't put my foot down , until I point out when I'm working which one of us will skip work to look after the DC last minute if ex decides he doesn't fancy having them any given weekend.... I swear they all think I have nothing to do all day so actually end up doing faaaar more .there is a great story I read about a man who's wife works part time or something and someone's asking him who does x, y & z and to every question he replies "my wife because she's just a housewife " or something (?)

Sometimes I swear a married my ex mark II

He sounds awful , sorry OP but I can't see any hope for him to improve his attitude really I hope he does for all your sakes but if he doesn't then how much more of this are you willing to take?

What is his culture? . And if it's real, why weren't you aware before deciding to have a baby with him?

Nope. He's just a misoginistic knob I'm afraid.

He's a sexist twat who doesn't give a toss about you, the coming baby, or his step kids. Charmer.

You missed your ANOMALY SCAN because he wanted to save ten quid. I have no words. Well actually I have plenty, but they'll all be directed at your nobhead husband.

"Disgusting?"

What an odd word to use.

OP if you knew it was in his "culture" to do this (i'm not even going to go there) and you weren't happy about his attitude on it- why are you having his baby in the first place? Please forgive me for being brash- but I can only assume this baby wasn't part of your plan together.

If it was- i'm sorry, but if you knew he would be like this and you still chose to have a baby together then I can't find much sympathy for you.

Different kettle of fish however if it was a mutual decision and he said he would support you.

Either way I think you have to question whether or not you really want to be with him.

YANBU! 10quid is a ridiculous amount of money to want to 'save'. I cost me and DP 40quid in taxis to attend each of our scans (so 80quid in total, which is nearly what I earn each week ), but would not miss them for the world! Admittedly this is our first baby so all very new and exciting, maybe he novelty wears off but for him to be so stubborn and unreasonable to then result in you missing the scan is simply unbelievable! Hope you manage/have managed to reschedule it because it gives such peace of mind, and is so heart warming seeing your little alien finally looking like a little baby!

"He swings from being an ass to being ok."
I could probably put up with a small amount of being an ass if the rest of the time he was magnificently wonderful. But the best he can manage is ok?

"Sometimes I swear a married my ex mark II"
This should give you pause for thought. Not just about why you picked him as your second husband, but why you've put up with him behaving in this way. Because this is not new is it?

I can't believe what he's been like today, it would really upset me. Most men would actually want to be at the scan. I can bet in this culture of us they aren't exactly into raising other men's kids either, I see trouble ahead.