teacher unprepared for my parent help

[iamworkingonit]

I work as a teacher but part time. I like to have some sort of contact with the school my daughter attends and as a single parent, working part time enables me to do drop her off and collect her twice a week and have some contact with the teacher and other parents.
I volunteer as a parent help once a week. Not in my daughter's class.
Two weeks ago the teacher whom I work with was away. Normally when I arrive the children are still at PE and just coming back or sometimes I am there for 5 or so minutes before they come back. I passed through the office and signed in. The office staff are really busy and that is possibly why they didn't mention the teacher's absence. Anyway after sitting in the classroom for about 10 minutes I went next door and the teacher there said she was away. I asked the head what would be the best course of action and he said just to wait in the library and collect my daughter at the end of the school day. The following week I called to check if the teacher was in. The office staff said she was so I went in. The class didn't return within a reasonable length of time so after 10 minutes or so I spoke to a TA who said the class was practising for an end of term production. I didn't want to interrupt and thought all class members would be involved. I was really angry though. I understand perfectly well how busy teachers are ( I am one) but I couldn't see why the teacher couldn't have left me something to do which didn't involve working with pupils or at best left a not saying they were in the hall. When I left the school I left the teacher a note stating that I am a busy person and that it is frustrating to take the time to come and help and not be needed. It wasn't rude but I am wondering if I should have. I got a reasonably polite email back stating that the end of the term is busy and timetables change at short notice but I do feel that it was rude and that an apology would have been in order.

Most parents who volunteer in schools are nearly always either those who have given up paid work or are retired from their work. Occasionally someone who is looking at a career change into teaching or needs experience to apply for a teaching course might come in for a few weeks. It is in no way the same as the people who volunteer in creative industries to try and get experience or a foot in the door or make contacts. It is not the same at all. My point remains the same. The OP is reading too much into the fact that the teacher forgot she was coming in when she herself was absent and has forgotten to arrange something on this occasion. As usual people are piling in in hysterical mode about how she should be more appreciated etc etc. Teacher forgot. End of it. Most volunteers would cope with this or would be happy to help in another class. OP probably should have popped along to the hall and asked teacher if she could help out with anything. Teacher would undoubtedly either provided something or apologised for forgetting to cancel thus avoiding all this angst and usual volume of how dare she.

And secondary school teachers have nowhere like the work load of elementary teachers. I am qualified in all panels and have taught them and can say from my experience that the younger the kids. The more work. Physical, mental and emotional. Good jobs for volunteers are prep art work, clothes on and off duty, cleaning up work, office work, running around jobs .I and everyone I dealt with as volunteer coordinator knew it was extr work for the teacher to accommodate the volunteer.

Some teachers are surprisingly unempathetic when it comes to other adults and no good at delegating, particularly those who are used to their classroom being their own domain and not having to plan in phases across age groups. You should hear how much TAs complain about some of them - and they are paid to be there! Other teachers, on the other hand, are pretty good at working out how to use and appreciate help. So if you are a hindrance, it isn't necessarily your fault, you just have one of those teachers who is a lousy delegator. So long as they are nevertheless a good classroom teacher, that's the important thing. All teachers forget to keep volunteers informed from time to,time, though. Sometimes, the teacher themselves doesn't find out until the last minute that they have to change plans because of what is going on in school. If the relationship is normally good, you should forget about it.

People seem to have missed that the alleged teacher in this instance did offer an explanation to the OP (who being an alleged teacher herself should have understood without needing an embossed letter of apology)

Quote:

"I got a reasonably polite email back stating that the end of the term is busy and timetables change at short notice but I do feel that it was rude and that an apology would have been in order"

Meanwhile, the absent OP has stirred up quite shitstorm and left undoubtedly genuine and sincere hardworking volunteers feeling bruised

Heyho

coolasschmoola

From reading your posts I don't think that you are a teacher. I am. I'm an English teacher and your posts are littered with grammatical errors and missing punctuation.

OP's English is fine. She's posting on MN, not composing a syllabus.

TheNewSchmoo

Ah, my favourite sort of AIBU....

AIBU
Yes
NO I'M NOT
Harrumph/flounce/bicker/say assenters are nice, dissenters nasty

But not everyone does think OP is BU. I certainly don't. No one is that busy/important that they can't spare a few seconds to let someone know they're not needed that day.

This thread is worse than the one where the teacher ate the TAs' chocolates and most of the MN teachers thought the OP (one of the TAs) was unreasonable to complain.

Zarah

I expect different people were on that thread

MN has millions of users

Not suggesting the same people are on this thread. Just saying it's even worse.

Ah, my favourite sort of AIBU....

AIBU
Yes
NO I'M NOT

Why do people keep coming up with this sort of comment when we can all see for ourselves that it's nonsense? It's clearly some sort of attempt to put down and bully the OP, but the reality is that the only person who comes out of it looking silly is the person posting this type of message.

I think what people "can see for themselves" is not universally agreed-upon.

If it were, there would be no AIBU

No one is that busy/important that they can't spare a few seconds to let someone know they're not needed that day.

You've never been in a school, right? 8:55, as the students are already coming in, putting bags away - Miss look what I got at football last night, Miss I found a rabbit in the park this morning, Miss I lost a tooth, Miss mum wants to talk to you about my homework, Miss I can't find my drink bottle - two parents are standing arounding wanting to talk to you about something, the year coordinator puts their head in the door telling you that they've decided to hold practice this morning in the hall instead of reading groups, another parent wants to talk, bell goes, you get the kids in their seats, take attendance, get Joey down from the top of the bookshelves where he is looking for the pen he threw up there yesterday, try and get all the notes and money organised, send a student to the office, make sure everyone knows about the change in schedule for the morning (including trying to talk the two children with special needs through the sudden changes to their schedule that they won't cope with), making sure the TA knows not to let the two children run off due to the change in schedule, get everyone to get their water bottles, get everyone lined up at the classroom door, walk students through the school, trying to keep quiet to avoid disturbing other classes, get to the hall, find that no one has the key, send someone to the office, get the hall open, get students inside and lined up in something resembling rows, talk to the other teachers to find out WTF is happening and who is supposed to be running this rehearsal, try and stop A from hitting B, try and stop C from moving from his spot, try and remember who is in which role for the performance, get students in to their groups, and then you can actually begin the rehearsal that was never in your schedule and try and work out how you're going to fit in the missed literacy session.

But sure, in the middle of all that, we'll just drop everything and go and find a phone number for Sally's mum, hope she answers her phone, and tell her that things have changed and she needs to go to the hall or to another classroom for the morning. Or Sally's mum could use her initiative, ask and find out the classroom is in the hall, go there and actually be useful, instead of sitting around sulking that no one remembered her.

The teacher doesn't have to phone. A message or email is quick and easy to someone you have been in contact with before as all the details are stored. Emails can also be done outside the hours of 8.45am to 3pm- why couldn't the teacher drop the OP an email before school started once she could see the plan for the day? Our school has a rule that all emails from parents must be replied to within 24 hours, so it is expected that teachers are on their email at least twice a day.

I agree, Chopsticks, a one-line email/text takes seconds.

Oh FFS, some people just don't have a clue.

Yes, teachers will be on their email twice a day. During their lunch break, after school, or at home during the evening. You don't get to sit around during class time and read your emails.

Or just save 'Sally's mum's' mobile number in your phone and drop her a text at 8.30, before the mayhem starts?

OP works with this teacher regularly, it's not unreasonable to expect a text. And I would hope she knows a regular volunteer's name rather than referring to her as 'x's mum'.

I don't think writing a one-line email at the start of the day constitutes sitting around and reading emails.

In my school, teachers are not allowed mobiles in the classroom.

And what Midnite says

Would love to know what the OP things, and whether she'd answer my questions

thinks, not things

I am qualified in all panels and have taught them and can say from my experience that the younger the kids. The more work. Physical, mental and emotional. Good jobs for volunteers are prep art work, clothes on and off duty, cleaning up work, office work, running around jobs.
I and everyone I dealt with as volunteer coordinator knew it was extra work for the teacher to accommodate the volunteer

This.

You are assuming the teacher knew about the change in plan before the start of the school day

and what Midnight says.

Some people don't have a clue.

It's against school policy to text or contact parents by personal phone in any way. Totally not allowed. So no, dropping Sallys mum a quick text, is not an option.

Great post by Midnite. That describes my average day perfectly. So happy I'm part time these days.

I've been a parent help and I would've just gone to the hall to hep with the production or watch and clap f help wasn't needed though I imagine an extra pair of adult hands to manage excited kids would have been helpful. I think ywbu to leave a not very nice note. I probably would have just checked with the teacher herself if I would be needed the next week.

Midnite, all of that might be valid but for the fact that it rests on a number of assumptions which don't actually have any basis in the information given. You assume the teacher didn't know in advance that the lesson would happen in the hall. Why? They were practising for an end of term production, where else would it take place? How do you know the teacher didn't know the plan till a few minutes beforehand?

You also assume that the teacher is manhandling the whole class herself without any assistance. In fact there's at least an evens chance that she has a TA.

Finally, you assume that OP expected the teacher to phone her. But she didn't. All she suggested was that the teacher leave her a note, which would take all of 10 seconds.

Of course teachers are fallible and forgetting to leave a note isn't the worst crime in the world; but how hard is it to realise that you've caused your parent helper to have a wasted journey and send a quick apology? Teachers are not the only people who have busy lives, and being busy doesn't exempt anyone from needing to show consideration and good manners.