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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to dislike being called weird?

86 replies

HarryPottersMagicWand · 01/07/2016 11:02

It pops up every now and again. People, friends really, say I'm weird. I don't particularly like it. It's hardly a compliment.

I don't think I am. I have my little ways, they don't affect anybody in any way but I like to do certain things in a certain way and I'm happy with that. Sometimes I don't even know why they are saying it. One (ex) friend has said it more than once. It makes me reluctant to even say anything at all past superficial chat.

OP posts:
JPinkertonSnoopington · 03/07/2016 22:07

My mother was forever calling me weird, or peculiar (pronounced "peCUUULiar!") from when I was a small child . I would become obsessed with things and not be able to shut up about them. Electricity in general and substations and transformers in particular for example. I used to go on about step up transformers and step down transformers. I think this showed a certain intellectual curiosity, but not in my mother's eyes. I was "just showing off" according to her. Worse, was – bedbugs, of all things! I read about them in my Godmother's Encyclopaedia of Home Hints, dated around 1930. My mother warned me not to talk about them in case people thought we'd got them! Understandable, I suppose.

I tended to go on and on about my interests when out in public with my mother and it enraged her. She threatened me with murder if I didn't keep quiet when with her. So I tried to, but invariably slipped up and ended up wearing a set of red fingerprints on my face – yet again. This was for "showing her up"

Later obsessions were horses and jazz. I used to get teased about the horses at school, but could just about put up with it . I didn't talk about jazz at school, it was too precious to me to be exposed to that kind of negativity. But the kids I played with out of school knew, and pulled my leg a bit. As I also liked the Beatles, the Stones, the Animals and the Kinks I fitted in pretty well - they might have called me "professor" but I knew they liked me . But at home mum was always screeching up the stairs to "turn that bloody row off". She often use to threaten to "have you put away" which I found terrifying.

When I developed depression at the age of 16, she was in her fucking element. " nutty-fruit-cake" , "nutty Nora " "funny ah-ah". You get the picture. She was ashamed of me.

I ended up being a jazz and blues singer, and have done some good gigs with some good people. More than a particularly nasty boss at work could say – he ripped the piss out of me about jazz all the time especially when we were on a course together. I live in a "little world of my own" according to him. One good thing to say about my world is that he wasn't there! When I told my (jazz musician) boyfriend about him, he was furious and threatened to phone him and say to him "I am fucking your wife".

I took early retirement this year, and although I am in constant pain from my right hand, ( I have arthritis and am waiting for a major operation) I have seldom been happier. I had a terrible time at my last workplace, including being so badly bullied I couldn't work well, and was demoted as a result. Part of the bullying was rolling eyes behind my back and sniggering because I was – you guessed it – weird. Well I will never have to deal with those hateful stupid bitches again. For the first time in my life I am not living under someone else's thumb, and it's really good. ( any mistakes in this – blame speech to text and not my weirdness!)

MrsDoylesTeaParty · 03/07/2016 22:38

We need more of you OP. Too many norms in this world. I don't have your quirks but I wouldn't judge how you do things. I would probably comment but in a positive way! I've met people who can't handle anything slightly different to themselves. It puts too much pressure on people to act a certain way and not be themselves, and everyone turns into mindless droids... Grin

SapphireSeptember · 03/07/2016 22:50

Hello comrades. I'm weird too. When I have an interest in something I get obsessed with it, I'm a Goth (and have been since I was 14, and got an awful lot of stick for it at school.) I get really excited about things that other people think are boring and I prefer being alone, when I was younger I had invisible friends (until I was 13) who were real, as far as I was concerned. And I still like dolls. I have many little quirks, and they are just who I am. I embrace my weirdness and gravitate towards others who do their own thing. Grin (Another one I've just thought of, I read lots of books that were written in Victorian/Edwardian times, so I used to talk in that sort of way. I don't so much anymore, which I think is a bit sad, and I think I need to break out the classics again.)

Ohnowattsthis · 04/07/2016 08:01

My ex called me weird or a freak a few times, it felt very much like a put down.

When I told him I didn't like it he suggested I was being nurotic and it wasn't up to him not use words, it was up to me not to be insulted.

Sighing · 04/07/2016 08:10

I've only heard weird used as an insult here most people who think they're unusual seem to think they're "crazy" or "mad" (which sounds like an insult). If I say, "maybe I'm just weird" I get the instant response as though i am seeking reassurance (no, you're not weird, you're really independent/ don't follow the herd). So i do think of it as an insult.I'm not British, I don't often struggle with the language - but this word is apparently more complicated than I thought (how weird).

recall · 04/07/2016 08:11

I've always been called weird, didn't understand it when I was young but totally get it now and LOVE it. I enjoy confusing my colleagues by messing about and being very randomly amusing, but also being very professional and spot on with my work. They just can't work it out. I think its being non conformist. I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder 4 years ago which might be it.

recall · 04/07/2016 08:14

Just remembered - during my drinking days, I used to sometimes stand on my chair in the pub and shout "I"M NOT WEIRD !!!!" Grin Grin

Booksandcrocheting · 04/07/2016 08:25

Yeah I'm another one who is weird/eccentric/etc. It would be great to pass for normal sometimes and not be a magnet for bullies. Upside, The older and less sociable I get, the less I am bothered about people liking me.

brodchengretchen · 04/07/2016 08:31

People use the word weird to describe anything they don't understand.
Are you breaking the law, OP? Undermining society? Leading other astray?

No? Then xxxx 'em.

HarryPottersMagicWand · 04/07/2016 12:35

Definitely no law breaking here. Too much of a rule follower, unless it's something trivial like 'keep off the grass', that's just a red rag to a bull Grin.

I'm glad you think we need more of me mrsdoyle Grin. I'm not sure others will agree. While I really couldn't care less what people think of me, I do care that they feel it has to be brought up again and again. I had to bluntly tell an (ex) group of friends to stop commenting on my eating/food habits as it got on my nerves and it actually makes me not want to eat in front of others at all. I'm also getting to the point where I don't want to take part in quizzes anymore as it will always be mentioned in a 'here she goes again' type way. I'd just like to be me without it being commented upon like I am some sort of weird phenomenon! The loud and animated bit that goes with it probably doesn't help my case but there we go. I am who I am.

I get really into stuff as well and will generally become a fountain of knowledge on it and get obsessed with it. Recently DH had a quiz book and my current specialist subject came up in there and the book got a question wrong! I got it right and had to prove it. Grin I was pretty pleased with myself. I obviously couldn't let it go.

Given the amount that of replies there are plenty of us 'weirdos' around (that really doesn't seem like the right word to use, maybe free from giving a crap non conforming spirits?) So we need to unite. Smile

OP posts:
MrsLogicFromViz · 04/07/2016 20:12

Weird is good. I have always been so. Proud Aspie too :)

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