to now be freaked out travelling on plane?

[ninenicknames]

So, just read the thread about OP's 2.5 year old having a tantrum on the plane & everyone being awful.

I am due to take my 2.9 DS on a 2.5hr flight next month on my own, lone parent so no back up.

I am now totally SHITTING myself (no offence to the original OP)

I don't handle confrontation well at all & the thought of my DS going nuclear & everyone having a go at me is now giving me a panic attack.

Seriously considering not going if this is how public react? Or do I strap him down physically & then get reported to SS!?!?!!

Literally. Don't know what to do?

Get yourself away and enjoy the flight as well
I'm ex crew and I've never really seen a child having a massive tantrum on a flight ( plenty of arsey adults though ) ....loads of great advice on here about distraction with snacks and activities.
You would be surprised how many kids just end up fast asleep

Don't not go. The probability of tantrum is low and then people being horrible is lower. My dc have flown a lot and only had one tantrum. Had a few looks but as there was nothing more I could do, and I was trying everything, I just gave them a look back! Just be prepared for ears popping on way down. Lots of kids start crying then, so will be in company. Even if you have 2hrs of crying its small compared to the time you can spend with your mum. Make sure she has a nice glass of wine waiting for you!

I did a similar length of flight when DS was about 2. He was fine going out. Coming back he was a bit bored. A man in the next aisle leant over and gave me his smartphone. It had some episodes of Peppa Pig on it that he thought DS might like to watch.

There are lots of kind people in the world. Please don't cancel.

I think most passengers are tolerant and kind, at least in my experience.

I have 3 kids, and have flown with them many times on short and long haul flights. People have always helped, especially when it was just me with 3 kids under 6.

we fly lots with kids (long haul) and I tend to let them have tablet/DVD players/ books a teddy and small treat snacks. Its not every day and it helps the kids and people around. Makes it into a special occasion for kids too!

You will be fine- its only the time of a film once you have taken off and then get ready for landing.

We've done two sets of flights this year with our dd who is nearly two and very tantrum prone. In March she had the mother of all meltdowns before the plane even took off. 15m of screaming and head banging (she bit DH) because she wanted her pushchair in the cabin not the hold! She's not normally that bad but because we had to restrain her rather than ignore it just spiralled. It was the worst. No one said a word about it and when she was done she just crashed out and slept.

On the second round of flights a few months later she was absolutely perfect. DH gave her loads of attention, constant food and unlimited peppa and she was great. The other passengers helped entertain her at points and several people told us how cute she was. Most people are very nice and even if the worst happens mostly people understand or are too polite to say anything.

You'll be fine. It's only 2.5 hours. I find you just have to be "on" the whole time. Don't expect to relax or read or anything nice for you and pander to the kid's every need. Snacks, comics, colouring, iPad with headphones...give into everything. Mine love flying because they get so spoiled. And it makes them better behaved because they are happy.

I have flown without my kids as well and am always extra smiley towards other children and their parents. Hopefully you'll get nice people. But most people will be sympathetic if they see you're doing your best to keep them quiet amuse them.

Am probably repeating here but these are the items that have helped me the most...

Stickers - poundland - loads of them. DD used to sit on my lap and plaster the seat in front of us. She'd chirp away quite happily whilst other passengers commented about her cuteness and how well behaved she was and I'd thank my lucky stars and Poundland that she wasn't having a tantrum cos her tiny tubes were always congested and, as a red head, she could shatter fucking glass with her screams . The stickers you can peel off easily and bin.

Plasticine and little plastic tools to cut and shape it. 99p for a pack. Bin it on arrival.

Mini white board and pens. Home Bargains. I take a small square of cut up flannel as a wipe.

Pre-load phone or tablet with stuff he likes. Get some large comfy earphones so people don't suffer Death-by-Peppa etc.

Dairy Lee snack things. We won't normally bother with stuff like this but DD loved the assembling and eating of them.

Honestly OP, don't cancel. Embrace the challenge and start trying to see the funny side. There are too many folk that understand and even sympathise.

My particular horror story was not the one where she made other children run away with her screams of rage so sorry Mum of twins flying back from La Rochelle in 2010 but when we were sat next to a teenager who was clearly savouring his inflight meal and leaving best til last big mistake matey. It was the most stunning of Victoria sponge squares and DD leant over, picked it up and started munching on it. Poor lad nearly cried. Gawd.

Almost forgot - wrap these items in cheap wrapping paper so the process of bigging the present up, opening the present, examining it, takes just as long too. Takes more time to do it. Don't show what you're packing beforehand.

You'll never see any of the people on the plane again so if anyone dares to tell you off then politely make them feel small. People should have a little understanding around children on a plane. Take an iPad with their favourite shows downloaded. Amazon prime allow you to download shows for use when no wifi

That said, I don't know why airlines don't have a family section and an adults only section. I for one would pay more money to sit in adults only when travelling without my child just to get some peace! Ryanair charge more depending on what row you sit in already

What was the other thread? I am due to fly with my 4 and 1 year old DC soon and there was just a snotty thread on here by some someone whining on about wanting child free flights which made me roll my eyes. Was that the thread that upset you, OP, or was it a different one?

There will always be judgey people no matter where you go. Most of them are just unhappy about something else or under stress. I try hard not to take judginess personally but it is hard. Most of us are just doing the best we can and I think most normal people recognize that.

We recently went on a 2.5 hr flight with our 16mo. He had one tantrum. It didn't last long but a woman glared at me the whole time. I looked at her and said "would you like to swap?". Funnily enough she turned around!

I'm another who has only ever had nice fellow passengers. Esp when I've been alone with both kids they were 10months and 2.3yrs on the last trip at Xmas and people held bags/ babies/ hands and sick bags while I tried to deal with two quite poorly kids on the way home. No one complained or eye rolled which was impressive given what they were enduring. A few even congratulated me when we were getting off the flight. sadly we had another flight to go that we then missed, which made for a fun evening

Fly again next month I'm not too worried its a few hrs of your life how bad can it be.

Try not to worrry. We are going to Canada to see family in 3 weeks with a yr old and a very wiggly 10 month old. I'm always surprised when I see threads about people having a go about young children. I've never encountered this in real life. Your ds may surprise you too. We have taken dd1 on 4 flights..when she was 5 months, 2 years and 3 and 3.5 yrs. She is quite an emotional/wailer sort of child and she loves the excitement of the plane. All trips she was fine. We had a tablet and she played games, watched videos, we brought snacks etc. Although contrary to what someone else said don't bring lots of sugary treats if your child gets hyper from.sugar! I brought things like mini crackers, crisps, made muffins, mini sarnies. You will be fine! Have a great trip. Xx

my ds was 4 when we went on a plane, and he screamed at take off

quite unnerving for other passengers. oh and my 2 year old refused to move seats

Another tip is break the flight up into sections. So for a 2.5 hr flight say first half hour is watch Peppa Pig on the tablet next half hour is colouring and sticking next half hour is lunch/snack then half hour plasticine then another half hour Peppa Pig then your there. Always helped us anyway. Don't cancel you can do it and who cares what some mardy stranger thinks!

We did lots of long haul flights when DT's were that age. The trick is to keep them entertained. I made them each a rucksack of presents - cheap things like stickers, puzzles, anything small but not noisy ! Every half hour (or longer if I could stretch it) they could open the rucksack for a new present. They loved it and I used the same idea for years until they could entertain themselves.

Don't worry about it too much OP, there are always grumpy people looking to get annoyed about something wherever you go.
Good advice from everyone re snacks and toys etc.

Maybe run through with him a few times what will actually happen - we give the person out tickets and our big cases and they send them to the plane, then we walk through a machine that makes sure we're not taking anything silly onto the plane, we can then have a little look round the shops and a walk around. When we get to the plane, we find our seats, sit down and put our seat belts on and wait for the pilot to take off.
Kids don't really like the unexpected, role-play it a few times - buy a toy plane and pretend, make tickets etc so when you're actually doing it he will understand the process and what's expected of him.

Please go and enjoy your holiday.

I flew hundreds of times with my three kids when they were little. Two of them took their first flights at two weeks old as my husband travels constantly, and we decided to stay together for the early years (though I often flew on my own with kids to join him somewhere). I never once had a problem on an airplane with another passenger- it just never ever happened. One person made a rude comment to us in an airport when our two year old was having a tantrum after a trip from NZ to Holland, and that is the only time anyone ever gave us a hard time.

You will be absolutely fine. Please don't be worried.

Yep - I've flown alone with toddlers several times and most people are nice. Also toddlers don't always or even usually kick off just because they are on a plane - yours probably won't, the couple on the other thread were unlucky!

When I was 28 weeks pregnant and had to fly with 18 month old DD - I was already pretty big and keeping her on my knee for take off and landing was not easy, and she took a lot of entertaining to keep still at that age! She didn't kick off but was very wriggly and talked incessantly and it looked set to be a long 2 hours ...

There was a young student in the row behind me who leaned over and told me she was bored herself and would love to look after DD for the flight to give her something to do - and she did! walked her up and down the isles, read her books with her, played with her toys with her! I should have offered to be her reference if she ever wanted to do any au-pair or babysitting work!

Some people are horrible but just as many are nice, and there is no reason to expect your toddler will have a tantrum particularly anyway. Pack lots of little things in his rucksack - sticker books and magic pens always good as well as Playmobile and so on.

I've done 22h flights with both DSs annually, starting when DS1 was 2 and an only, right through to this Easter just gone, when DS1 was 8 and DS2 was 3.

While we've never had an epic tantrum, DS2 has proven somewhat challenging in various ways, not least him passing out through "breath holding" when I was trying to persuade him that he HAD to sit on the seat and put his seat belt on because of turbulence, and him not wanting to. He has a pleasant habit of NOT starting to breathe immediately he passes out, so that was fun at 36,000 feet. But he came round ok, and I didn't tell anyone, they didn't notice, all was well except for the screaming prior to the passing out.

MOSTLY people are very kind and say how well-behaved the boys are, even when they haven't been - although I have had one arsehole turn around from the seat in front after we'd been sat on the plane about 5 minutes and tell me to "make him stop kicking the seat" - he wasn't!! He was putting his drink bottle into it and had put the tray down, and then back up again. But MOSTLY people are very good and understanding. I find that a pre-emptive "Sorry, hope he's not annoying you" can do wonders to ease potential tensions - people, especially Brits, do tend to then say "no of course not, he's fine, don't worry, you're doing a great job" etc.

For a 2.5h journey, you should be able to take a tablet or even your phone (set to flight mode) and let him watch downloaded shows or films; but do try to teach him how to use headphones prior to that.
Make sure you have something for him to suck on take off and landing to avoid the ear situation - AND a drink, just in case he refuses to eat/suck (DS2 did this last time)
Take a couple of toys/books, whatever he likes, but try to limit the number of pieces that could get lost - so pens/pencils/crayons etc., only give him maybe 2 or 3 at a time. Magnetic games are a great idea! And DS2 really liked these books that work with a water pen

And remember - it's only 2.5h, you'll probably NEVER see anyone on the flight again EVER, and you can do it.

You'll be fine as pp said take loads of activities. My kids went on a fair few flights when toddlers I used to let them run their little socks of in departures and some of them had play areas too.