People asking me to ask my sister about wedding!

[MrsLoisLane]

Grrrr. My sister is getting married in September. We have many mutual friends. She is having a child free wedding except from her four year old niece whose flower girl
A mutual friend of my sisters has an ex bf 7 month old and the mum has texted me basically moaning saying she'll have to leave her baby with her MIL who will have to wait outside the venue and phone her when the baby needs feeding! I know it's nothing to do with me but I know my sister will want to know this mum isn't too happy. What do I do?

Thanks muddlin that's a good point. I think it's hard because another mutual fiend who wil have a 4 month old is happy to leave the baby but that's her situation I guess. I know my sister will say no.

Which is her prerogative - if you can't have who you want at your wedding when can you.
Normally on wedding threads it's a terrible no-no to ask the bride anything that might make her uncomfortable so maybe that's why your friend asked you?
As long as she doesn't blame when your sis inevitably says no though. That would be bad

YANBU! Tell your friend to speak to your sister directly. At the end of the day it is your sisters day and she should have it how she wants it.

My Child is 7 months and breast feeds a lot. He will take water from a cup but I would not leave him for the period of a wedding. If her MIL will do that then great. Personally I would buy a nice gift and card but not go. I had a no children wedding and that ruled out my cousins unfortunately as they didn't want to leave there kids but in my opinion a wedding is an adult function. Nothing worse than kids running around in the speeches. Your sister has said she doesn't want kids, presumably she knows this woman has a child so knows that she might not come. Its rude to ask the bride and to ask you if they can be an exception. Don't direct her to the bride. Ignore her or tb and say well its a child free wedding its up to you. Good Luck xx

Its rude to ask the bride

no it's not! it's perfectly okay to clarify so long as it's done nicely. Different people interpret what they mean by "child free" differently. Some people mean no kids big enough to run around, but babies are okay, other people mean "seriously, no kids, it's a scuba diving wedding!" and everthing in between. It's totally fine to ask

I too am going against the grain. If she asks the bride directly, it puts her on the spot a bit. However, if the bride hasnt breatfed a baby to that age, its more than feasible it just hasnt occurred to her this other mum might be. As she's friends with you both, it seems sensible to me for her to see if you can chat with your sister and point out how difficjlt it would be, and if there's any leeway for breast fed babies, which are obv different from children who need to be fed and have a place to sit etc.
I wojld just have the conv with my sister and report back to friend, because I'm helpful like that.
Your sister can still say no, but at least it will be a considered no, rather than a 'hadn't thought of that' no.

I wouldn't leave a 7 month old. But that is by the by, it is still nothing to do with you. So I would just go back with what Bran said.

She could always decline

It's not up to you to field unhappy guests

My seven month old doesn't eat that much solids wise and still breastfeeds a lot. I certainly couldn't leave him for the length of a wedding, even if I was only going to the afternoon or something.

If I were you I'd mention it to my sister and ask her if there's any room for manoeuvre. But that's my sis, I know it wouldn't stress her out. If you think it will with your sis then keep out of it.

2 of mine were ebf still at 7 months. Neither was pfb.
Dd2 refused point blank any attempts of solids until about 9 months. Ds was too busy having ear infections to worry about food.

Dd1 was a dream to wean at 5 months (advice back then was 4 months). I could have left dd1 at 7 months, and probably ds as long as there was calpol and a cuddle, but not dd2.

Thanks I'm not sure what's normal or not! This girl is a bit pfb I think. Her child surely doesn't need to be outside the church with her mil for a half and hour ceremony?

Way to make the bride feel like a total bitch!! If she plans to do that, then I'd think the bride has every right to tell her not to bother, it's a bit ridiculous. Why does she simply not decline the invite? What's she going to do, run out every half an hour?!