to hate people like this?

[WhatInTheWorld76]

I have a "friend", let's call her Mary.
Mary seems nice enough. She's two years younger than me and isn't particularly mature. Chatty, outgoing etc. But when anyone mentions anything Mary immediately responds with a comment like "oh I did that/have that/ my friend X said that was rubbish.."
Now, I'm fully prepared to be told IABU, but isn't it slightly very fucking annoying that whatever subject is being discussed, Mary will draw the conversation back to herself. If, for example, the ladies are discussing Spain and all of them have been there but she hasn't then the response isn't "I've never been there.." it's along the lines of "Spain?! I would NEVER go there! Why go there when you can go to insert a place she has been in a bid to look flasher"

It sets my teeth on edge and I want to slap her hard challenge her then in a second she's smiling like the lady Madonna.

AIBU to HATE people who can't have a NORMAL conversation without being insecure and bitchy? More importantly, is there a name for this condition? I have never ever heard her express genuine happiness for anyone or any kindness. It's just all about her, her experiences, her opinion etc. Is she ill? Am I unreasonable?

Fully prepared for a total flaming.

Yup, if you've got a black cat theirs is blacker i never as an immature little shit asked one of their boyfriend was blacker too oh no not me

It comes from a place of insecurity, and they are to be pitied and hopefully they'll grow out if it eventually

I wonder if it's the people who notice the one-uppers that are the ones with the problem as in not appreciating someone stealing their thunder. I only say this as I have never known a one-upper (which probably means I'm one!)

I know someone who is the inverse of this, either everything they have is worse than yours or you're wasting your money by basically doing anything other than sitting at home watching TV.

If you've got a cold she's got flu, if you're tired then she's got insomnia and has slept thirty minutes in the past week. God forbid you mention you're going on holiday, a wet afternoon in Bognor is good enough for her family, going abroad is just a waste of money.

She excelled herself when she once asked me how my weekend had been, I told her it'd been very sad because my grandfather had died on Saturday. Her reply? "He was really old though wasn't he. My weekend was bad too, my roof is leaking again.." She then proceeded to monologue for the next ten minutes about her house woes. I haven't really spoken to her since.

It is annoying but the one I know does it purely out of insecurity and not bitchiness, so I give her plenty of slack for it.

I do agree with this, but my god I ended up losing any shred of sympathy I had with an old friend and her constant negativity (oh you want to go to X on holiday? I went there and it was shit) and sly one upmanship. Yes, she was insecure, but it made her a toxic person.

Google "compensatory narcissism". I think it's quite common.

I think I'll be properly immature next time she's particularly insensitive (when one friend miscarried she spoke for ages about her made up friend who miscarried later than this...etc). I want to call her out, speak to her maturely, but at her age if she isn't aware she's doing anything wrong, I imagine she will be just be wounded if I say something.

I think I'll avoid. She just gives me too much rage. Elevenerife. Love that!

'Two Shits Dave'

I love that!

Love the names, blackcatter, elevenerife, toppers and two shits Dave. Have certainly met them but never knew they had a name. You learn something everyday

Yes, everyone meets them.
I vary between chuckling at the ridiculous statements (oh yes, he's so clever he really isn't getting enough out of school so he begged us-age 4- for language lessons.) and feeling irritated (oh yes, you really should get me to negotiate your mortgage as I got mine so much cheaper. Was interesting to find that the one we'd got was much much better. I suspect he irritated the bank chap so he raised it).

My main choice is to avoid.

Oh gog, I've met a few of these in my time. Been on a course? Well they've got a phd in it.

Definitely grates.

Reminds me of the dialog in Letter to Brezhnef. " If I've been to the moon, you'e been there twice" Or "Got a season ticket" or somesuch.
Love the term 'Blackcatter'

Im very sad to say that my DD is exactly as you describe.

No matter how much I teach her, nothing works. It seems that she is ingrained to correct, be negative and see the worst in everything. I have no idea what I am doing wrong as a parent. She is young so I am being positive and wishing that she grows out of it.

Ms Worth. So your friend in the jargon was a Sixorife?

Alan No it's not about people stealing thunder - it's the people who continually override perfectly normal conversations with better-than/worse-than anecdotes some of which appear very questionable. I'm sure most of them do it out of insecurity but some out of an inability to see the world except as it refers to them.

I'm sure we've all done it occasionally (and kids back from gap-yahs are particularly prone "Indonesia, yah, met a komodo and made it a pet" "Yah, had two and a tame tiger shark") but most of us grow up.

A girl I went to school with has children about the same age as mine. She used to say oh they're never ill, have such strong immune systems. She had obviously forgot about the several times she had announced on facebook about her son having the squits.

Yes! This is where facebook can be great for evidencing narcissism and blatant lies. Sometimes I feel sorry for my friend then I look at her facebook wall and am reminded all over again what an elevenerife she is.

There is always a FOS (full of shit) is most friendship groups or work place

I love "Elevenerife"!

What especially irks is Elevenerife combined with Sanctimommy - when their DC's achievements are a zillion times better than yours but it's all down to the clear boundaries they set and the sense of self-discipline they've fostered in their house. But then SOME mothers are so much more relaxed about these things - I suppose you're pleased that your DC is such a "free spirit", aren't you???

(resists walloping Sanctimommy over the head with a year planner and a mop)

Anyone have one of these for a MIL? Have just realised why a relationship with her is impossible. She is the biggest topper known to mankind. You can see her from space. I don't think in 12 years I've ever had a real conversation with her that didn't involve her immediately upstaging my previous statement. Even if it was "I just took the bins out".

I don't know just one Mary. I know five.

I have a friend like this. I just smile and nod, I think a lot of it comes down to insecurity.