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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be upset by the postman's impatience with me

37 replies

pippinandtog · 30/06/2016 13:06

The postman has just rung the doorbell to deliver a parcel and I was a bit slow answering the door, although only a couple of minutes: I am not quick on my pins at the moment, as I'm recovering from a fractured ankle, and need to put on leg brace and hobble to door on crutches.
When I opened the door, the postman was already on his way to leave the parcel next door, and I called to him and apologised- he stood still and held the parcel out to me.
I was just a few yards away from him, but at the top of steep steps, and I asked him to walk to me as I struggle with the steps.
He did so, but did not speak or make eye contact with me, and was tutting and shaking his head.
I came inside and felt like crying.
I know I am probably feeling particularly vulnerable just now, but a pleasant word and a smile would have cost him nothing.
I wouldn't dream of being so unpleasant to someone, and don't understand why people can't just be kind.

OP posts:

MollyTwo · 30/06/2016 13:08

A few minutes is a really long time.

NavyAndWhite · 30/06/2016 13:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Toocold · 30/06/2016 13:10

He should have been more patient when he saw you regardless of a few minutes being a long time, the op has an injury that I am assuming he could visually see.

divafever99 · 30/06/2016 13:11

You answered the door on crutches and he tutted at you? How rude. What is wrong with some people? If it had been me I probably would have cried! I easily get upset if I am in pain. Wishing you a speedy recovery op.

TheHiphopopotamus · 30/06/2016 13:11

No, YANBU, he sounds like an arse, especially if he could see you were incapacitated.

Had something similar that I won't go into (it's boring) and I complained to Royal Mail and got an apology.

NavyAndWhite · 30/06/2016 13:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eyebrowsonfleek · 30/06/2016 13:12

Yanbu - especially as you admit that you're feeling more vunerable than usual.

queenMab99 · 30/06/2016 13:12

I feel for you, I have just had a full knee replacement, and if anyone treated me like that, I think I would poke them with my crutches, very hard. Postmen usually appear to be good humoured, so may be he was having a bad day, still no excuse to be so unpleasant.

Maybenot321 · 30/06/2016 13:14

Some people just don't possess any compassion or empathy.
Let's hope the postman is never in your position.
for you OP

Original poster

pippinandtog · 30/06/2016 13:15

Can be prone to tears anyway, divafever ( funny age).
The dog doesn't like it and runs away upstairs.

OP posts:

littleprincesssara · 30/06/2016 13:15

YANBU. He was being a twat. But there could be any one of a million reasons and nothing to do with you. He was probably just in a bad mood about something. I know it's hard when you're vulnerable but try not to take it personally?

bibbitybobbityyhat · 30/06/2016 13:16

Yanbu, that is disgustingly rude! I would complain to the sorting office.

I once had a bus driver snap at me "hurry up" as I was trying to get on the bloody bus on crutches. I was also upset. I'm sorry he was so awful to you op .

justilou · 30/06/2016 13:16

Complaint required... He was being a jerk.

5Foot5 · 30/06/2016 13:20

He was very rude to behave like he did after he saw you on crutches. Have to say though you were lucky that he was still anywhere in sight after a couple of minutes. IME they knock and then leg it, sometimes they don't even knock.

Just the other week DD was in and heard something come through the letter box. She is pretty quick off the mark and got to the door within seconds to find a card saying they had tried to deliver a parcel and it had been taken back to the sorting office. She opened the door but the postman had already gone. She swears there was no knock so we could only conclude that he didn't have the parcel anyway, had no intention of delivering the parcel and was just delivering cards. I know other people to whom this has happened

Original poster

pippinandtog · 30/06/2016 13:21

I am new to mumsnet, passing the time while recovering from aforementioned broken ankle.
I can see you are all kind folk; thanks for all your reassuring words.

OP posts:

Niloufes · 30/06/2016 13:22

A couple of minutes is a long time to wait if you weren't sure someone was home to be honest. But after he saw you on crutches then he should have been nicer giving the parcel over.

Borderterrierpuppy · 30/06/2016 13:24

Sorry you are feeling sad OP this will make you laugh. Our doorbell is broken at the moment so if you push it it rings and doesn't stop AND it sounds like a school bell, really loud. By the time I get there whoever it is is always apologising to me :)
Hope you feel better soon x

TinklyLittleLaugh · 30/06/2016 13:28

He was a dick wasn't he? I work on the top floor of my house, am unsteady on my pins and have to negotiate two flights of stairs (often on my arse) to answer the door. I'm always calling the postman and various delivery people back from up the road. They can see I'm wobbly. They don't act like arses.

diddl · 30/06/2016 13:29

I don't have a problem with him not waiting, but tutting when you asked him to bring the parcel to you?

It would have taken him longer to ring & wait for a neighbour more likely.

He's supposed to deliver it to you-not meet halfway or you fetch it!!-even if you didn't have a brace & crutches!!

Katedotness1963 · 30/06/2016 13:30

One day I was standing at the living room window, waiting for a taxi, and I watched the postman walk down our path (made eye contact), put the mail through the letterbox and start to walk away. When I went through it was a "tried to deliver but no-one home" card. By the time I got outside he'd disappeared.

thelonelyhamster · 30/06/2016 13:34

You're probably just one of many people the postie has already dealt with today who opens the door after a couple of minutes and makes the postie walk back with it... the only difference is you actually have an excuse for taking a while, and presumably were not having a go at the postie for 'not knocking' or 'just running away'!
Don't feel bad or guilty, postie is just grumpy today. If you're expecting anything else just stick a note on the door to say you're in but need an extra minute to get to the door today.

Posties have something like 60 seconds allocated to deliver something that needs the recipient to open the door for. That's 60 seconds to knock, start writing out the card, knock again, decide nobody is home and post the card through before moving on (unless some sort of miracle occurs and the door actually gets opened!) ... except that now they're supposed to find a neighbour in that time too!
That's the time allocated by the computer, anything more means they're probably going to be late finishing, and the manager will want to know why. There is no answer to 'why are you late' that a manager will find acceptable, there is always someone for them to blame and it's always the postie that gets it.

Postie should have been more polite, but it's not worth worrying about... everyone has bad days, today it's his turn.

Original poster

pippinandtog · 30/06/2016 13:34

I agree, diddl, it wasn't the not waiting, it was his attitude towards me that made me feel upset ( and annoyed now, the more I think about it).
My incapacity is thankfully temporary; when I think of what some people must have to put up with from unkind people every day.

OP posts:

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 30/06/2016 13:36

You could put a sign on the door saying you're slow to answer. But YADNBU, to be arsey about it when he's seen you on crutches is way out of order. My postie knows I'm disabled and can't get there in a hurry. He also knows if the car's home then so am I so he leaves parcels on the doorstep and rings the bell to let me know they're there so he can get on with his work and I can answer the door in my own time. I usually get a cheery wave from few doors down when I get there.

funkyfriesian · 30/06/2016 13:42

He was rude OP.I'm disabled and often don't get to the door in time.I would have asked him what his problem was.Our postie is lovely and either leaves parcels in our paper bin our outside the front door or in the porch if i don't get there in time.

kali110 · 30/06/2016 13:43

5Foot5
If it was hermes they have this knack of simply putting a card though your door without ever knocking your door or ringing the bell

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