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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I make a complaint about this doctor?

42 replies

sizeofalentil · 28/06/2016 13:19

I don't really want to make a fuss and am unsure if I am just upset about the situation rather than the doctor and don't want to take it out on her unjustly.

I went to the doctor today because I started to MC last week at 5 wks. It is the second MC I have had and as I am in my 30s I wanted this on my record and to see if the doctor was concerned enough to send me for tests yet (although I know it isn't standard to do this until MC3).

The doctor either wasn't listening, didn't care or there was a language barrier (I don't want to presume but it's possible) that prevented her from understanding what I was saying. She didn't take notes, put anything on my records and I felt like I had to force the information on her (when my last period was, when I took a pg test etc.).

She didn't ask me a single question about the mc - when I started bleeding, how much bleeding there was or any questions about my general health or lifestyle choices. She didn't examine me or take my blood pressure or anything.

The only question she asked me was if I was married and when did I get married.

I tried to tell her that I took a two pg tests after two days of bleeding and they were both negative, but she didn't react. Then sent me to give a urine sample to do a pregnancy test (results back in three days) and gave me a prescription for folic acid - which I already take, something she'd known if she'd asked or listened.

I'm pretty sure she put on my notes that I was there for an early pregnancy test. As that's what she wrote on the form.

When I tried questioning her she said there was nothing she could do as she didn't have the placenta to examine.

Last time I MC'd I went to a&e to get a referral to an Early Pregnancy unit but it took 7 hours to do so this time I wanted to go via my GP.

Is this normal? I now have to phone up in 3 days time to get the results of a pregnancy test which I know will be negative. Then am I meant to book in again, or… Just forget about it? Is this worth making a complaint about?

OP posts:
RaeSkywalker · 28/06/2016 13:27

Wtf? I would definitely book again, and also ask to see the notes the GP wrote. She may have recorded it when you left

Sorry for your loss Flowers

Imnotaslimjim · 28/06/2016 13:32

So sorry you're going through this and that she was so offhand with you.

I would go back and ask to see someone else. You need it on record if she didn't put it on, just in case.

Flowers
acasualobserver · 28/06/2016 13:32

Yes, complain but, in the meantime, is there another doctor you can see who inspires a bit more confidence?

buckingfrolicks · 28/06/2016 13:33

Yes absolutely see the practice manager about your concerns. They WANT to know about issues. Definitely do it. And I'm sorry for your loss.

BillSykesDog · 28/06/2016 13:34

Make a complaint. I have made a similar one recently about a doctor who does much the same with my pregnancy problems, brushes them aside, but every time makes a comment about whether my fertility treatment was private or NHS funded and asks which. Also made a comment about how I must be glad the babies weren't girls as I wouldn't have to pay for a wedding! It's not on and is totally unecessary to ask irrelevant personal questions.

Her name doesn't begin with B does it? Wondering if same doctor.

VocalDuck · 28/06/2016 13:36

Sorry for your loss.

Early miscarriages are horribly common and GPS probably see women about them on a frequent basis. However, that doesn't excuse her not listening. I would complain and ask to make sure your notes correctly reflect what happened at your appointment and not anything the doctor misunderstood.

2rebecca · 28/06/2016 13:37

Why do you think you were ever pregnant if both tests were negative?
I'm not sure what you expected her to do if you had had a very early pregnancy test come back positive immediately followed by a negative one.
As you say it's only after 3 that more tests are done and often the very early am I /am I not pregnant tests don't really count in this.
It's sad you thought you were pregnant and aren't but there isn't much she could have done.

OhTheRoses · 28/06/2016 13:40

Go and see another doctor. I reported my first miscarriage to the GP at 7 weeks. She just looked at me and said "did you want It". I left and cried on the way home. It was 23 years ago and still hurts. I wish I'd dealt with it at the time. A conversation with a,more senior partner perhaps.

VocalDuck · 28/06/2016 13:40

2rebecca no need to so harsh - the op says she took two tests after two days of bleeding and not that she hadn't tested before. Chemical miscarriages do count and they do need to be recorded on notes in case of a referral regarding repeat miscarriages. You sound as lacking in understanding and sympathy as the doctor!

Original poster
sizeofalentil · 28/06/2016 13:43

BillSykesDog - yes, it does actually… Her first name anyway.

2rebecca - the five positive pregnancy tests I took before I started to miscarry made me think I was pregnant.

OP posts:
Mouikey · 28/06/2016 13:45

Certainly make a complaint, and possibly try and self refer to the early pregnancy unit (I did this when I MC elsewhere in the country). Not only did they do a scan, but they also did the count thingy to see how high it was and to see if was as expected for that week. They were very supportive and I then went back to my fantastic GP when I returned home. Didn't work out (but a further MC later and I'm 36 weeks preggers!).

Do complain, I would actually phone immediately and follow up with a letter.

WellErrr · 28/06/2016 13:45

Oh fuck off 2rebecca

I did try to come up with a patient response explaining how fucked up your post was but decided the concise way was best.

WellErrr · 28/06/2016 13:46

Sorry this is happening OP Flowers

Definitely speak to the practice manager and get this recorded properly. Hope you're ok.

Kennington · 28/06/2016 13:51

Sorry you have to go through this.
I had multiple MCs and I think unless they are much later there is no medical intervention. Hence probably why she didn't ask anything.
If she wasn't listening then that isn't good but there wouldn't be anything for her to do. I seem to remember after 3 x MC they may consider a referral for investigations.
Maybe just see another GP if you feel she wasn't engaged.

allowlsthinkalot · 28/06/2016 13:52

2Rebecca - "you thought you were pregnant but you're not" - wtf??? The op WAS pregnant and lost the baby.

TurnipCake · 28/06/2016 13:54

Gynae doc here...

I'd see a different GP to get the miscarriage logged, so at least it's on their system. Hopefully it won't come to the stage of having to be referred to recurrent MC clinic, but at least they'll have the second one recorded on file.

I'm not sure what your marital status has to do with anything, as you said, the appropriate questions would have been re: bleeding, pain, ensuring your BP is ok and logging it as a complete miscarriage once the negative pregnancy test comes through.

Maybe once the dust settles get in touch with the practice manager, might be a miscommunication or a training deficiency that needs identifying.

BennyTheBall · 28/06/2016 13:56

I would definitely mention it to the practice manager.

Although there's not much she could've done at such an early stage a bit of kindness would have helped.

Original poster
sizeofalentil · 28/06/2016 14:00

Just to be clear here - the reason I think she might not be the best doctor is because she asked no questions about the bleeding and I was left with no clue about what is normal/what I should be worried about. I could have been gushing buckets for all she knew. She ignored me when I said I felt faint and dizzy from it.

I have Google/Mumsnet access so have managed to get basic advice, but I wasn't even handed a leaflet or told not to wear tampons, or told to be worried if I was bleeding for more than x amount of days etc.

I didn't expect tea and sympathy, but some practical advice and for it to go on record. If she's written down I went there for a pregnancy test rather than recorded a miscarriage if it happens again I might not be able to go for tests because it won't be on my record as three losses.

I'm also unsure why I had to take a pregnancy test again and what I'm meant to do about the results in three days time. She refused to answer when I asked her - just acted like I hadn't spoken. She kept saying 'goodbye', then turned round. Confused

OP posts:
HuskyLover1 · 28/06/2016 14:00

Firstly, sorry for your loss. Flowers

I think you should go back to the Surgery (different GP), because you need to get a scan to make sure that all of the matter indeed comes away - you may need a scrape. My Mum had a few MC and with one she bled for ages. In the end my Dad went to the GP, told them how long Mum had been bleeding for, GP shut his surgery and raced to the house, to find my Mum already unconscious. So I am sure a MC, however early, needs medical attention.

I had one MC, and went on to have 2 healthy babies, so please don't despair (easier said than done, I know)

Original poster
sizeofalentil · 28/06/2016 14:02

TurnipCake - thank you. I did ask her if that's why I had to do a test, so that she could log it as being negative. But she just didn't answer. So your practical advice has been a big help.

OP posts:
spiderlight · 28/06/2016 14:03

So sorry. That's inexcusable. My GPs couldn't have been more supportive when I miscarried - one gave me and DH an enormous hug each and talked to us for half an hour even though I was her last patient on the Friday evening before Christmas, and another phoned me at home a few days later just to see how I was and whether I needed stronger pain relief or anything. You definitely need to see someone else and raise it with the practice manager - it sounds as if that GP at least needs a refresher course on her bedside manner for women going through this.

So sorry for your loss :( Flowers

SapphireStrange · 28/06/2016 14:06

Sorry for what you've gone through, OP.

Please write to the practice manager with as much detail as possible on what she said and how she behaved.

I'd be raising hell about the 'are you married and when?' question alone.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 28/06/2016 14:09

ow wow, so sorry. and yes. keep trying and get this resolved and when its over- def complain, so sorry Flowers

onwards and upwards XXX

shinynewusername · 28/06/2016 14:09

Hi, as a GP, I'd say that does not sound like a good consultation and you should tell the practice manager.

On her not making notes, though, I always wait till the patient has gone to enter my notes as I think it's rude to do so during the consultation. So I'd cut her some slack on that.

jodiebee664 · 28/06/2016 14:10

2rebecca - you insensitive idiot, I hope to god you never experience mc!

OP - definitely not normal, as somebody who has been through this twice (most recent was last week) they should ask all the questions you refer to and were very thorough in my case. Definitely see another doc.

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