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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not contribute to this leaving present?

114 replies

yougotitdude · 26/06/2016 23:05

Started a new job last Wednesday.

A staff member is leaving this Friday and the office (20 of us) have had a whip round to buy her a spa day- £10 contribution each

Collegue has asked us all to bring the money tomorrow- came and told us individually, including me

I dont think I should have to contribute

AIBU?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 29/06/2016 13:03

So now you'll be expected to give whatever amount the organiser dictates to you for birthdays, weddings, babies, etc. regardless of whether you can afford it or not. That could get very expensive. Hence, why I'd have said I'm sorry but I'm really skint just now. I can't afford to put in a tenner.

That's a huge amount of money.

I wouldn't have wanted to set a precedent that I'm an acceptable target for someone to come in and demand a set amount of money out of me.

therootoftheroot · 29/06/2016 13:04

ooooh it's ross and the handyman's leaving gift! if you can afford it, do it otherwise you will forever be '4b'!!!!!

leghoul · 29/06/2016 13:19

I wouldn't contribute to that. I'd probably fudge a silly excuse but I still wouldn't contribute until I'd been there for longer, like, a month or something. It's a lot of money for a colleague's collection especially someone you don't know and I don't think you should have been asked.
However, others have raised the point about colleagues memories etc and working with them. But surely that's something you shouldn't have to bow to? get on with the job, be nice to everyone, don't be bullied into handing over money left right and centre by chief collector. Their problem, rather than your unreasonableness.

BerylStreep · 29/06/2016 13:19

I'm sure I remember a MNer who recounted a story about her hated boss who was leaving and who had been a complete bully to her. She said that when the envelope came round for leaving gift donations not only did she not contribute, but she nicked 20p out of the envelope as a point of principle.

Hockeydude · 29/06/2016 13:22

It was good of you op and they were clearly in the wrong for asking. But yes, it's definitely an investment in your future at this office so was worth it.

Wordsmith · 29/06/2016 14:28

I wouldn't - just sign the card.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 29/06/2016 14:30

I would pay it but resent it!

QueenImprov · 29/06/2016 14:31

They shouldn't have asked you, as you don't know the person but since they have, I would contribute. You will look a bit tight and mean otherwise.

keriku · 29/06/2016 15:16

I have only once ever not contributed to an office collection. I am the only part timer on my company and had to do a training course on my days off. I was promised payment but the Sales Manager, overruled my boss, so I worked 4 extra days for nil. Needless to say I put nil in his leaving collection!

elh1605 · 30/06/2016 05:52

I would offer £5 and state 'as I'm new and don't really know her here's a small contribution towards the prezzie'

hesterton · 30/06/2016 06:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hesterton · 30/06/2016 06:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bambi2105 · 30/06/2016 08:09

I wouldn't put in if you have only been there a week. You don't really know the person. Explain this to the collector instead of just saying no. If they are any sort of human being they will understand. Leaving collections should be for the amount you want not specified unless everyone agrees. I usually only put a fiver into collections as a tenner helps me feed my family. A fiver is even a stretch for me. Be honest it's the best way. Good luck

Unicorn1981 · 30/06/2016 08:25

Whenever I've been new someone I've been given the card and told if you don't want to contribute because you don't know them you don't have to.

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