To not contribute to this leaving present?

[yougotitdude]

Started a new job last Wednesday.

A staff member is leaving this Friday and the office (20 of us) have had a whip round to buy her a spa day- £10 contribution each

Collegue has asked us all to bring the money tomorrow- came and told us individually, including me

I dont think I should have to contribute

AIBU?

[Ditsy4]

Why don't you say "I think it is a bit unfair of you to ask me since I have only been here for 3 days however I'll meet you half way." And give her a fiver!

[tappitytaptap]

Owlina I was thinking the same. I'd expect the collector in this position not to ask you OP to be quite honest. If I was collecting I wouldn't expect you to contribute but if I was you and could afford it would probably pay to keep the peace (and silently seethe about it!).

[gingerboy1912]

I am flabbergasted at the fact that it is a tenner as a single parent on a low income that's a huge amount to pay to a collection you don't even know this person who is leaving. The most I've ever put into a collection is a fiver and I'd know the colleague for about five years at that point. Depends on the set up at work tbh I work on a hospital with staff coming and going frequently we only ever put in £2-4 pounds each some not even that much. No I wouldn't put in a tenner but I have a thick skin and don't really care what people think tbh.

[RhiWrites]

I organise collections at work for team leavers and I always say this is VOLUNTARY in large letters and no one counts how much people put in. We have team members on very low incomes and it's inappropriate to take money from colleagues unless they offer.

In this case the person organising the card should have said to OP "of course you're not expected to put in but do sign the card if you'd like". OP, you're fine to say no.

[jay55]

I'd say no, explain I'd not been paid yet and had no money.

[MidnightRunner87]

I'd say no, I wouldn't really care what people thought of me either to be honest.

A simple 'oh no sorry I haven't been paid yet' would suffice. I generally get my own gifts/cards for people if I so wish anyway so the next time they asked it would simply be a case of me saying 'oh I've already got something from me, thanks for asking though' and even if that something was just a card I wouldn't feel bad-it's my perogative, and I've more right to that then other people have to spend my money for me.

[NeedACleverNN]

I was trying to remember the friends episode but then someone jogged my memory?

When Ross moves into his new apartment?

If you can afford it please do pay it.
It paves way for a good office friendship. If you can't have a discreet word with the organiser but be aware she may offer to do it and expect you to pay when you have been paid

[EveOnline2016]

I would not pay either and never have for work collections.

If I want to get someone a card and gift I will.

[Robin2008]

YANBU at all. They should not have asked you! However, if I were you, I would contribute. It will be worth in in the long term. You'll make a good impression at that is worth way more than 10 pounds ...

[GabsAlot]

hold on when they bought this present surely they didnt factor in this new person who hadnt even joined yet?

i know the episode of friends very well always felt for ross it was bullying

[Shizzlestix]

Dear God, no, don't pay. The max I'm expecting as a leaving present is a bottle of wine and I've been here over a decade. I am amazed that a spa day has been organised!

[Furiosa]

No YANBU.

This is a leaving present, your colleagues are saying goodbye to someone they have worked with and have known for a while. You've been there three days and will probably never see this person again. You don't need to say goodbye to them with a gift.

If it was birthday, new baby, wedding or something like that where it's for someone you will be working with in future then yes, you should contribute.

They person who asked you is out of order and I suspect they are probably the self appointed "Grand High Poobah" of office collections and knowingly put you in this difficult position to see how you would react. Just say sorry you can't contribute at this time but would be more than happy to do so for future events.

[chanelfreak]

It might not be fair OP, but if you don't do it then I can't imagine that you will make a good impression on your new colleagues - which is crap, but I think a bit of short-term pain is worth the long-term gain in this case.

[BeautyQueenFromMars]

How funny that the Friends episode was on tv the same night you posted your dilemma - what are the odds?!

I don't think you should have to pay. However, if someone has had the cheek to ask you to pay £10 already, they probably won't hesitate to make a big deal of it if you don't pay. If you can't afford it, have a quiet word explaining that you've not been paid yet and you're broke, so can only contribute a maximum of a fiver. If you can afford it, pay it and you can refuse further contributions to things in the future, once you've settled in and worked out the office politics.

[ApocalypseSlough]

It's unreasonable of them to ask.
But as they have, pay up. It comes out of the 'coffee when I don't want it with a new colleague or taxi because I misjudged the journey time or expensive tights because I've got here and I'm the only bare legged one in the office' budget.

[CottonSock]

I wouldn't be paying it, no chance

[Dontyoulovecalpol]

"Today 07:14 DoreenLethal

'Sorry, but how did you even include me in the calculations seeing as I didn't even start until you had decided what you were all going to get? If I had been included in that conversation or had been here more than three days, I'd pay up. However I have been here 3 days, and am not getting paid for that for possibly 6 weeks, and therefore have no money to give you. Of course, if I give you my petrol money, that means I can't get to work anyway which means losing the job. It really is totally unfair of you to even ask me.'"


do not say anything like this. You'll look like a dick.

I agree, pay up this time to make a good impression. It's not fair but you have little choice so early on unless you're one of those charming influential people who can refuse in a way which still makes everyone love you, which you're obviously not, otherwise you wouldn't be asking an Internet forum

[pasturesgreen]

You don't have to, but I'd pay up for the sake of good office relations.

Count yourself lucky you don't work in my office, where a mandatory recommended contribution of £150 for colleagues getting married is expected asked for. It's an industry that pays well and in fairness we don't do birthdays, but still it's more than I've spent on some actual friends of mine

[daisychain01]

Supposing the person leaving is on a chunky salary and the new person is way down the earnings bracket. It's thoughtless to enforce a set amount. It should be on their ability to afford. A fiver would be an adequate gesture for any work colleague.

Good God, I've seen threads on here where a person leaves after 10 years' service and don't even get a bunch of petrol station flowers!

[daisychain01]

But I do agree that chipping in is definitely a good move to build team rapport. And hope there isn't anoth r whip round for a long time!

[whois]

£10 each? Thats crazy.

Just say "oh sorry, I'm really skint after stating the new job"

[Rrross1ges]

I'd pay. It'll make you look like a team member and not the new person who's being a bit awkward.

[GabsAlot]

all these posters saying u have to pay-why?


so that they looks good? more like they looks like a pushover-whats next can u contribute to the chair i just broke because u know youre here now even though it happened last week