To ask, what's the worst parental mistake you have made in good faith?

[Havingitall]

As end of term approaches the kids and I were looking back over the highs and lows of the last school year. One incident stood out. World book day. I sent my daughter in wearing a bonnet and an empire line dress - take your pick of the Bennet sisters - but my son (14 and autistic) loves the Simpsons so with a yellow swim hat, some face paint, a shirt, jeans and a cushion, he made a fabulous Homer. That night they came home keen to talk about their day. DD quite happy, DS less so. Turned out my son's book day at school was the following week. He got off the bus that morning, well, you can imagine. Because he is the first to be picked up in the morning I hadn't noticed anything was wrong. I asked him what they said, and he replied "Mrs X said, 'Don't worry, we can wash it off"...."
By way of footnote we did turn disaster into triumph the following week when he reprised his role and came back with first prize, but both kids have spent the afternoon revisiting - I suspect this is a maternal gaffe never to be forgiven or forgotten.

Went DS1 was little I bought him a duffle coat for winter - it was adorable, he was about 15 months old, and we took him out for a walk in it. 20 metres from the house, he fell over, but the duffle coat was so stiff and bulky he was unable to raise his arms to save himself and he grated the whole side of his face and forehead.

He never wore the coat again (just nice flexible modern padded ones), and I got him a sturdy set of reigns so I could catch him if he fell again.

DS had a bit of a bump in the playground, I don't think he actually told me that at that time, just came down in the evening after having gone to bed to tell me he was seeing double. I said he should go to sleep and it would be ok by morning.

Next morning he went to school. When I picked him up he said he was still seeing double and it turned out he'd banged his head the day before so I took him straight to the doctors where the nurse practitioner told me to take him to a and e. I felt awful that I'd left it! Thankfully he was fine and the doctor at a and e didn't really make much of it. But I still felt awful that I'd told him to just go back to bed the night before.

Well, although my children are now 15 and 12 and I have made a gabillion mistakes along the way, I think the very worst one was not knowing that babies of, say, 3 to 9 months old, like to go back to sleep again more or less exactly 2 hours after they have woken up for the day.

Took my pfb baby to swimming lessons - the kind where you are supervised to dunk them under the water - because (fuelled by anxiety) I wanted him to learn to swim as quickly as possible to be as safe as feasibly possible.

Anyway, all my friends had underwater pictures done and so I did too. The look on his face under the water is awful, I can't bear to look at it now - I just see fear and apprehension and me breaking his trust as I thrust him under the water. God, he must have been terrified. Stopped the lessons shortly after that! He told me how much he didn't like swimming under water when he learned to talk. Imagine not being able to say how much you hated it and not being able to ask your parent to stop. I should have known, I feel awful.

Mine is probably doing the school run for the first time alone with 3 children. (dd was probably about 5 weeks old), I was feeling pretty smug as I had remembered that it was mufti day and had also remembered the £1 coin for DS AND we'd done his reading book.
Anyway, we got the the school gates when DS1 said "where's DD?'. In my haste to get out of the house on time I'd left her in the hallway in her buggy....not my finest moment. Luckily, we were living only 5 mins away from school, so Ds2 and I ran/scooted back and she was lying in her pram perfectly contented.

Forgot to pick my son and his friend up from the school disco. Got a phone call from the teacher asking when I was coming for them. School only 2 roads away from home so ran all the way to get them and found them cleaning the hall. They were not amused! 10 years on DS still reminds me of it!

I moved ds from a dreadful school (in SN terms) to one that came highly recommended because it had an autism support base and (allegedly) very experienced and caring teachers. They did untold damage and after a year he was in such a state I had no alternative but to take him out to home educate. I still regret moving him and not HEing him straight from the first school. He made up a lot of ground over the years but things could have been much better for him without that dreadful year . I still feel awful about it.

Completely forgot to give my DC some of his own birthday cake at his party this year. He cried on the way home in the car, I felt bad, so bad 😧

Took my 2.5yo DD to a birthday party at a farm today with no shoes or wellies. After we'd been there for about half an hour we found a welly wanging game and borrowed a pair from there for her! Poor child. She wasn't bothered though, well, until we had to put them back. She thought they were new ones she could keep.

I drove my son to a classmates party today. Couldn't find them anywhere at the venue so phoned the mum. Of course the party was yesterday, cue tears. Felt awful.
Probably the worst was telling son off a lot for not listening and then found out he had glue ear and couldn't hear properly. Felt like a proper shit mum then!

Ds used to hide behind doors when he was a toddler and jump out to shout boo. Dh didn't realise he was there one time and pushed the door open with a small kick as he had his arms full of shopping. Luckily, Ds didn't take the full force of the door but unluckily, his toes must have been right upto the bottom of the door and it clean, ripped off one of his toenails Poor Ds was too shocked to cry and poor Dh was almost sick and inconsolable for days.
It is used as a measuring stick of describing how bad something is even now Ds is 7, e.g. I've just done something awful, but dont worry not toenailfuckwit awful I've only put diesel in the car

Sending ds to school in uniform in a non uniform day twice maybe three times
Not taking dd to a&e until the following day after she had been tripped. Turns out her leg was broken she was 12 months old

Probably many others to cone

When I was weaning DS I made individual baby pies in ramekins and was well chuffed with myself. I gave him a spoonful without checking it, so stupid, and it was like lava. He absolutely howled and no wonder. Tortured myself for ages about his little trusting, expectant face as he was waiting on his dinner.

More recently, getting him settled into nursery. It took so long, he likes it now but they recently showed me pictures of the early days and he looks so scared and sad, heartbreaking.

toenailfuckwit awful

I didn't get my DD the MMR until several years past when it was due because the Wakefield stuff was happening.

My DS1 - then a gangly 6ft 16 yr old was desperate to join rookie lifeguard training, so I signed him up at the local pool. Went up to the balcony with my other 2 DC. I'll never forget watching the group walk from the changing room. My thunder faced son , followed by 10 6 -8 yr olds . And then when they had to pair up - the 8yr old lad trying to drag ds out of the water.... Needless to say he refused to go back ever again

not me but my ex husband he flung open the car door straight into ds face he flew backwards and landed on his bottom on the path

dd was 6 & in winter girls could wear trousers/thick leggings or thick black tights with skirt, one morning was a manic rush as had forgot alarm and both dd & ds 9 were being a combo of slow & mucking about winding each other up

Finally got them sorted & out the door & drive them to school, ds jumped out first and dashed off to play with his mates, but as dd was climbing out the car I realised that she wasn't in fact wearing the thick leggings i thought she had been when we left the house but was just wearing a pair of thick black tights on her bottom half & no skirt!!

icecapped I really don't understand the dunking babies thing! I never did it to my dc as it just seemed mean. They're now 6 & 2 and love jumping in and going under!

Not forcing my son to go to the grammar school that wanted him. Instead I let him go with his one and only friend to the local comp where he was bullied terribly and his one friend got removed by his parents, leaving DS alone.

Not me, yet, but my DM threw a Calpol bottle at the floor in desperation one morning when she was trying to get us ready for school, and DB & I were arguing. We were 7 & 5 at the time (so over 25 years ago). Bottle bounced off the floor, hit the banister and went straight into DBs head, blood everywhere. DM drove us straight to A&E where DB proudly told the doctors that 'mummy whacked me with a medicine bottle'. Health visitors stopped coming once I'd given them a full account and it was obviously an accident. DM still devastated, and it's still a running joke between DB & I. I remember it so clearly!

Now I have my own DC, I get why she threw that Calpol bottle. We were being little shits and she was knackered.

Went to collect dd from nursery when ds was 2 weeks old, I was tired, he was tired, but he was the one to fall asleep. I parked outside (right outside thank goodness and it was a chilly January day) and totally forgot he was in the car, had totally forgotten i had a second baby tbh! Went in to collect dd and have the usual handover from carer but we got chatting and perhaps it was nearly 10mins later she said "and how's the little one?" I just I forgot about him! Grabbed dd and legged it out, car alarm blaring as ds had woken up and stretched himself out. I have read those stories and always wondered how parents could forget .... they can

I used reins for my dc1, but thought the safety strap/lead was too short so I extended it. When we 1st used it ds ran, I pulled, he fell and whacked his head on the floor as the strap was too long for me to do that catch/swing thing... I never used one ever again!

When DS was about 3 he had a few evenings of him getting in and out of bed for various reasons - need a wee/ drink etc. On about the fourth evening, I'd had enough of it.
" Right " I said " you do not get out of that bed again tonight. No more!" Off he toddles to bed and stays there.
Next morning, he starts crying. Then shows me the CD that was stuck fast on his finger which was blue and swollen. The CD that he'd got stuck on his finger the night before but he couldn't tell us about because he'd been told to stay in his bed.......

thequeen I don't laugh out loud often but that really made me laugh. Your poor ds .

Mine was probably slamming the car door shut on 3 year old ds's hand. Fingers were inside the car, hand was on the outside. I was too scared to open the door incase all of his fingers were shorn off. Thankfully they were just bruised and had been pressed in to the rubber bit. Every single time we drive past that car park, ds retells the whole story .