To be feel upset with friends after being left out again?

[FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname]

I realise I am probably U and oversensitive but....

Yesterday evening some friends of mine went on a girls night out. I was not invited. This is not the first time they have been out and not bothered to invite me, I don't expect to be invited to every single outing they have but Aibu to be upset at never being included?

To make it worse I always go out of my way to show up to their events/birthdays etc, but my birthday is next month and I've invited them all round for drinks and no one has responded

Aibu to be upset? Should I just give up and stop bothering with them?

You need to set your standards OP. I made a decision a few years ago not to tolerate crap friends, and although that meant saying goodbye to a few people I soon realised that I didn't really miss them, and certainly didn't miss their bullshit!

I also found that better more fulfilling friendships came to take their place, like I showed the universe that I deserved better and it responded in kind.

Yes you are probably right! I think I'm just desperate to please most of the time so people sometimes see me as a bit of a doormat.

In answer to the other questions..

A lot of times, probably 50+

Some of the times she's asked but definitely not all and none lately

Probably £20 a time, maybe as much as £50 but it adds up - she currently owes me £300.

Sorry this has happened to you - sadly some people just aren't nice

I also think you can be too kind and people can take advantage or just presume you are happy to carry on - eg friend is clearly taking it for granted you will always lend her money.

I think what needs to change is you - stop lending money, stop making the effort with those who don't return the favour - start thinking about you

I got rid of a number of friends a bit like this because I just realised we didn't want to do the sane things and I was being restricted from doing stuff I wanted to do because I was so worried about losing their friendship - but you have to go beyond the fear

It's difficult to instantly make replacement friends but you could try classes or social groups or sports or other hobbies and in time they may fill the gap

You teach people how to treat you op. The borrower isn't a friend, she's exploiting your lack of self worth. Say no and you won't hear from her again and don't expect her to pay any of the money back.

I have stopped lending her money months ago as I realised that was the only time she ever got in touch and she would just keep taking as long as I was willing to give. She still contacts me asking but won't take no for an answer so I've just stopped responding. I'm 99% sure she won't pay me back!

she's using you as a free cash point. glad you gave seen the light.