To fall out over a phone

[Procrastinatorswife]

Ok, I am of the opinion that DH is Being completely unreasonable and I am in the right... But I really need to rant on this one so apologies in advance.

6 weeks ago Freelance DH's contract was suddenly cancelled. I am a SAHM and he is the sole earner. At the same time I noticed that he had a fault in his phone which meant that while it rang at his end, after 2 rings the callers ring tone went silent and so callers were hanging up. He normally gets new jobs through agents who of course call him. So it needed sorting before he looked for a new contract. A lot has happened in the intervening few weeks. DS ended up in hospital as did FIL. So there have been some mitigating circumstances for not having started properly looking for a new job.

However, after 7 month old DS was admitted to hospital as an emergency (including 3 hours in the resus room). DH(who was at home with DD) decided that on his way to visit us in the hospital the following morning he needed to visit the phone shop and buy a new phone. I was livid at the time. But that was 5 weeks ago! Now I am incensed. The phone was not the problem of course but the line was and had he bothered to call his provider to check first? had he fuck. Now it has taken to this week for him to get around to calling his phone provider and get it sorted. All this time he's not been working and it likely to take a while before something comes along.

So AIBU to think that although he had lots going on and didn't want to be chased by agents and going to interviews he should still have been getting his phone sorted for when he was ready... Instead of wasting another week. He thinks IABU because a) I tore a strip off him for the phone shopping incident and b) I am hounding him about it (gentle reminders, offers to help... Suggesting that I am going to start applying for work myself, etc)

TBH I would do the same as your DH and assume the phone was at fault. I would have taken it to the phone shop to be looked at on my way to do something else (like your DH did).

Although, my track record with phones means I am permanently with a broken phone but then I don't rely on this for my earnings.

I know you've had a lot going on and I hope DS is better

I'm at a bit of a loss to see the actual reason you're upset. Are you angry 1) because he was late to the appointment 2) unnecessary expense of new phone 3) it's taken so long and you've had to keep reminding him (including potential loss of earnings) ?

It's not really about the phone at all is it?

I think you have a lot going on and there is built up anger and fear for the future. You are angry at some choices he has made that you are sure you would not have made. The result of which is jeopardising the well being of your family.

Pretty normal reaction from you, pretty normal reaction for him responding to your reaction.

Overall - YABU to fall out over a phone. Men can be idiots sometimes, it is to be expected.

It think if my son and father had ended up in hospital, then sorting out my phone would not be top of my list of priorities.

YABU