AIBU - 12 year old, leavers party, clothes

[Bathsheba]

My 12.5 yo DD1 is NOT INTO CLOTHES. Or ANYTHING GIRLY.

It is her primary school leavers party next week and, frankly, I think this would be a good time for her to realise that, sometimes, you need to wear clothes to fit the occassion.

She will never be one of the girls getting highlights, and fake tan and manicures - and thats okay - not a problem.

But I do think that - as we have delayed our holiday so she can go to this party (we normally leave as soon as school finishes - literally 3:30 but this year we are leaving at 8pm), and as a local business man has paid a lot of money to put on a "No expenses spared" party for them...and as a lot of the mums are volunteering to go and decorate the venue (not me sadly - I'm working at the school)...that she could wear something other then her plan of "stained joggers and an oversized man's tshirt".

I don't expect a ball gown - I absolutely don't - but I gave her the Next Summer Catalogue to look through (women's and girls sections) - she put it down after literally 10 seconds and said "no - nothing I want to wear".

I would like her to wear something like this

www.next.co.uk/girls/older-girls/festival-girl/12

or

www.next.co.uk/girls/older-girls/mono/5

She is very emotional at the moment - worried about secondary, not wanting to go on family holiday etc etc - but I really do think that it is really disrespectful for her to turn up to an expensive party that a lot of people have worked hard on looking like this

lastexittoricklesburgh.com/the-tramps-arsehole/

There are some events - weddings, funerals, parties, graduations - where you can't wear what you are necessarily comfortable in every day - I'd never force make up or hair up-dos on her, but something nice - surely..

AIBU (and does anyone have any outfit suggestions - she is a pretty, athletic girl...)

[BestZebbie]

It is appropriate for her to look clean and smart, but there isn't any particular need for her to look feminine, is there?

[Bathsheba]

I'd like her to look feminine because she is a beautiful young lady and I'm probably deeply jealous because I am, and always have been an overweight tent wearing blob.

However, I'm fairly sure that as I am the one who has bought her all the oversized tshirts, and the androgenous clothes, and the vans/converse etc etc over the years, as well as the leggings tshirt and shirt for her party, that she remains self confident and untraumatised.

[ProcrastinatorGeneral]

Beauty is bullshit. If she is confident stop banging on about clothes as you'll dent her self esteem at some point. Let her be who she wants to be. I'm so happy she held off your glittery onslaught. She's to be commended for that.

[Waffles80]

Encouraging young women to see their worth in only their looks is very damaging.

[Bathsheba]

Trust me - she sees her value in her amazing intellect and abilities. As well as her value as just a damn fine human being.

I think waaaaaaaayyyyytt too much is being read into my last comment - like I say, every single other day of her life I facilitate her wearing exactly what she wants - I buy, I launder, I put-back-in-her-drawers the clothes she wants to wear and can wear with no issues every day of her life.