to not feed parents at party?

[FusionChefGeoff]

Soft play for DS (4) so his first 'proper' party. Package for kids but not allowed to bring in food apart from cake. I feel a bit bad that parents will be there over lunchtime but I'm not providing any food / drinks. If I did, I guess I'd need to allow £8 pp which is an extra £100!!!!

Any way round this or is it ok not to feed the parents???

I've been to a lot of parties and parents have never been catered for specifically but always help themselves to a sandwich or a sausage roll or something. That said I've been to kids parties where food hasn't been provided and I don't mind that either - BUT I would prefer notice if kids won't be having food just so I know to feed beforehand.

Tendon I don't resent it because it doesn't happen here - I live abroad and children's birthday parties are little tea parties when they are small and outings or sleep overs when they are big. I just hate the sound of the whole class parents must stay generic paI parties I read about on MN and think how bloody inconvenient they must be for everyone with more than one child.

That and the stuff I read about school run traffic and school gate politics, and the thought of ironing school shirts, are enough to keep me from considering returning to the UK whenever I get wistful about the ease of living my life speaking my mother tongue, or the range of goods available in UK supermarkets :o

• pal was a stray word in that post, no idea how that autocorrelation from soft play. ..

I have 3 DCs aged between 19 & 4 and have been to many parties over the years. I have never been to one at a soft play centre or similar where food was provided specifically for parents/adults. The norm seems to be just to offer round anything left over after the children (i.e. the actual party guests) have finished. That's fine isn't it?

Parties at someone's home or at the village hall etc. are slightly different as the party hosts are generally making the food themselves. In that situation, people sometimes will have a separate platter of something or other specifically to be offered to the adults - but not always. It's certainly not something I ever expect & would not think badly of someone for not feeding me at a party I'd taken DD to!

No don't worry you don't have to, parents will be too busy, they can always get something from the cafe.

Something to eat is always appreciated. The first few parties I went to with DC1 I was caught a bit unawares that there was no food for the parents, especially over lunchtime. If a child is hungry, their parent might be peckish too after all.

However most of the time that was just my bad planning and now I always take cash for the cafe, or have a snack bar shoved in my bag just in case. I wouldn't expect there to be something provided for parents, but I think it is a nice touch if you can open a few bags of Doritos or something.

I would definitely hoover up the kids leftovers though

Normal for only the kids to be catered for at kids parties in my experience. Often any leftovers after the kids are finished eating are picked at by parents.

I have been to one or two soft play parties where the party hosts have paid for parents accompanying child guests to have one hot drink at the soft play cafe, which was nice, but it's not something I'd expect as a matter of course.

Thurlow at soft play or pay per head parties, it is the norm not to provide for the parents, and tbh, you should not expect it. Mabey in a hall, some tea/coffee or cold drinks would be fine and a few cakes. After a certain age, don't you just drop and run.

Just take a really big cake and they can buy coffees. It'll tide them over for the couple of hours you'll be there. I wouldn't expect to have a full lunch bought for me.

Still in the not able to drop and run age, Aeroflot Like I said, that was my mistake, though.

Why are so many posters telling the OP to just bring in pizza/muffins/biscuits etc when she has clearly said she cannot bring n food?

I've only ever been to one party out of 20 or so where the adults were catered for. Most parents leave the kids at the party anyway.

If you're referring to me WanHeda (don't think anyone else suggested pizza) I was suggesting buying a few large pizzas from the cafe in the soft play. All the soft play places near me do pizzas and it's a relatively inexpensive way to feed parents if you want to. A few bowls of chips (from the on site cafe) would also work. I don't think most places would take kindly to muffins and biscuits being brought in. Usually you can bring a cake and nothing else. I agree with others though that there is no expectation to feed parents at a soft play party at all. Most of the ones I've been to only the children have been fed.

At my daughters birthday party this weekend we are feeding the parents BUT only because she'll be 2 and and so the parents are our friends or family. If she was older and a class party in a soft play I wouldn't be feeding the parents!

Oh right Thurlow, at soft play venues or pay per head, I don't expect anything, if its a village hall you might have a few tit bits and a drink.

I've been to one soft play party for a 4 yo where they put on sandwiches (one plate head) and it was very welcome. I wouldn't expect it at all, but from my lazy perspective it was handy that both dd and I had eaten, rather than having to go and have lunch a couple of hours after her.

If you can't afford a sandwich per adult, take a big cake for adults only.

I think over lunchtime it's nice to offer something. Not expected but it always seems a bit odd to have the parents standing round like hungry prison guards. I feel bad eating the DCs food and I am always starving!

I wouldn't expect to be fed at a child's birthday party.

Such a great range of responses - right, I'm definitely not feeling so guilty now - hot drink and a giant chocolate cake for the adults then.

I think most will stay as they are relatively 'unknown' kids / parents through nursery so they don't know me from Adam. There are a few who are actual friends of mine and I've said they can drop and go if they want to.

My first AIBU and I've survived

Definitely not expected to supply lunch
If I was hungry I'd buy a muffin from the cafe

We generally have our parties in our village hall or our garden (DD only 3 so very happy with that) and I do enough sandwiches etc etc for the adults to have some as well. However, if I was paying per head I would not include the parents and the parties that DD has attended have been the same - only children eat. To be honest, I don't know many adults that want to eat the crappy food these places serve at parties anyway!! :)

I would check with the soft play if cake for the adults is ok. You're not even allowed to serve up the kids cake at ours it has to go in party bags/napkins to go home. If they have a cafe that sells cakes they may not allow it.