To ask your advice about what antidepressants I should take or what to do in general....

[Flamingo1980]

I posted on here about eight months ago asking for advice about my (then) situation - which has now changed and so I want to see what your advice/experiences are now my situation is different but I feel the same so I'm at a loss as to what to do really.
Last year I was living in a tiny one bedroom flat in the middle of winter, having a tricky relationship with my two year old daughter. I was feeling depressed and that life was meaningless and pointless. I asked you lot if you thought I was depressed and I got some great advice so thank you.
I am now living in a big beautiful house with a sunny garden, it's summer and my relationship with my daughter is much better.
I am gutted to report that I still feel completely flat, and that life is meaningless and pointless. I have about three fleeting glimmers of happiness a week when my daughter does something sweet or I buy a nice lamp or something. The rest of the time I feel flat, empty, and I just don't enjoy anyone or anything. It's a massive effort to meet up with friends and make conversation for a few hours, and at the end of it I always think "well what was the point of that?".
I can't think of anything to look forward to and I struggle to play with my daughter or enjoy her. I used to be full of fun and life and character. I now feel life my very soul is just draining out of me and I'm powerless to stop it. I have no hobbies or interests and an almost non existent social life.
I'm 36, I have a part time nursing job and no partner (by choice). I feel lonely nearly all of the time and I'm hugely introverted so surrounding myself with people serves mostly to just stress me out and drain me.
I'm going to go to the doctors and ask for antidepressants.
What ones have you taken that you think would work for me?
Any other bits of advice? I feel so so lost.

Thank you so much for all of your advice! I'm really scared of taking ads as I worry they will make me a zombie but your stories are helping me feel more positive.

I take Citralopram and I laugh a lot. Before Citralopram I was in a black hole, Citralopram gave me my ability to feel joy back.

They won't make you a zombie :) and if you have any negative side effects that persist you can just taper off. There's nothing to lose and potentially a big gain

I am feeling comforted by reading here other people's experiences of depression. Is that bizarre?!
It's not that thinking of us all being depressed makes me happy! - but knowing that others share my experience of complete subjection to the devastating bleakness of depression is somehow consolatory.
Depression can be utterly, almost indescribably debilitating, but you have made me feel less isolated.
Thank you all
Flamingo I am sometimes able to act well and normal in company too, even when I am very ill. I have no idea how or why I am capable of it; it is a bewildering disconnect.
Could you try to come to terms with your feelings of fearfulness around taking anti depressants? I was mistrustful of them for years but now wish I had taken them much sooner. I could have had a life.
I do get uncomfortable side effects (eg, headaches, dry mouth) in the first few weeks of taking a new medication, and different weird side effects during withdrawal, but for me, the balance is definitely in favour of taking them.

Laudersyme I'm glad you don't feel so alone! It's funny as I know ads are taken by so many people - most of my family included. I just always hoped it wouldn't be me. I will call the doctor next week and let you know how I get on!

Good luck Flamingo, I'm also taking the first steps soon for anxiety. I'm still not sure if I need them as it's not bad at the moment but sometimes it can be and i'm fed up of it. I used st johns wort but had an allergy so I'm thinking an SSRI that works similarly could be useful. Looking forward to your update.

Just a warning - St Johns Wart makes the contraceptive pill less effective.

I,m also an RMN althougj not working now i agree with yorks also if you find an antidepress doesnt work for whatever reason go back to your gp it maybe you need a different dose or to try a different antidepressant.