I cant make a decision...

[howcanikeepdoingthis]

I apologise now that this may be a disaster of a thread because I'm scared to give the detail. I'm hoping that people can bear with that and still offer some advice. I experienced an extremely traumatic event, five years ago, whilst in hospital. It was criminal. My life is going pretty well at the moment but the sense of outage plagues me. I want the person/people responsible to be held to account. But to drag it all up would be horrific and I have four small children who I endevour to put first. If I park it and do nothing does it become less likely I will get justice? Can I ever fully heal without the validation a prosecution would bring. Do I risk the stability I have built? Sorry I know this is a bit of a ramble. Anyone's comments would be most welcome.

No personal experience thankfully but having watched several documentaries recently on the Jimmy bastard Savile victims, the consensus seems to be they are glad they've finally spoken out and it's helped them move on. Good luck op.

Could you start by talking to your GP If you have a good relationship with them? Just book an appointment don't say anything to the receptionist to keep it very confidential. Maybe write a few notes to take in with you.

Keep it very factual, explain what happened at the hospital and ask them what do they suggest you do.

That will at least make you start to feel empowered, and it takes some of the decision making off your shoulders and into the hands of a professional.

We xposted ESD

Thank you so much. I didnt think anyone would reply. I hadnt thought about a gp at all but it might not be a bad place to start. I wouldnt want the decision taking out of my hands. Do you think that could happen?

That all makes a lot of sense. Thank you. I dont really have a trusted friend other than my husband and I think it might break us if I were to start exploring the details with him. My closest relationships have been with professionals paid to support me. Fortunately I have develpoed some resilience and am moving away from that now but dont really have any friends.

My fear is that they wont believe me or say it was my fault.

Thank you so much for sharing some of your experience. Im sorry you didnt get the outcome you hoped for. Can I ask, if you could go back would you still go through with it?