To not understand this mum

[justalittlelemondrizzle]

I live on the same road as the school ds attends. For the last year I see more and more parents arriving early so they can get a space on the road and then waiting in their cars. There is one lady in particular who arrives at 2pm on the dot every day. The children don't finish till 3.15. She sits in her car all this time with a 2 year old sat in the back. I just think it's a bit odd. Why would you want to sit there for over an hour with a restless toddler instead of parking a bit further away and walking round the corner. Just to add, she doesn't appear to have any problems walking, she's often seen running after the little one when he's finally released from the car.
She also lives about a 10 minute walk away from school.
I just don't get why anyone would want to waste an hour of their day doing this.

Why aren't they walking to/from school?

Surely it must be due to juggling school/nursery pick-up times and traffic?

We also have parking problems on the school run as the road is not wide so parents mount the pavement to park half on the path/half off the road. Everyday there is a row about these cars narrowly missing hard to see small children when they 'mount'. There is ample parking at either end of the school street where the road is a lot wider. I am narrowly missed on my bike when they dismount the pavement.

Normal People become oddly aggressive/weird when it comes to the school run/parking.

When I used to get the bus to work, there was a woman who would wait possibly 10-20 minutes for a bus, go one stop- literally round the corner - one minute walk to the next stop, get off and drop her son at school. Always intrigued me - i suppose she possibly had mobility issues but she would stand up waiting for the bus, then stand on the bus (always packed at that time).

I live opposite a primary school and people do this all the time....if I come home from work between 2-3.40 I've no chance of parking anywhere remotely near my house

Maybe she has picked up the 3 year old from playschool and lives too far away to bother going home.

I would think this, but why not go to the park or something for a bit? Unless the little one is tired after nursery and prefers a bit of quiet time.

My BIL does this. I don't know about this woman OP, but in his case it's passive aggressive - I hate to use that phrase - but it really is, and there's not too much passivity about it either.

He'll turn up really early because it suits him and then sulk and make smartarse comments about having to wait when the people he's supposed to be collecting turn up, even though they're not late and we all know what school closing time is or when the train arrives and no one asked him to arrive 45 minutes early.

It's blatantly obvious that he wants to get out of giving lifts and thinks by doing that, he will or make your life a misery - well, it is to me, my sister is in a panic over it and shrieks: 'Don't keep him waiting! He hates waiting!' like he's the Queen.

I very rarely accepted lifts from him because of this and would much rather crawl naked over broken glass than put up with the atmosphere.

One of the last times was when he was driving me and my sister and their sons back from the hospital where my mum was busy dying. I seriously wanted to say I'd get the bus and then the train - it wasn't that much of a problem - but my sister insisted and death is a time of togetherness and it would have been awkward to refuse.

We were near where I wanted to be, going along a main road in slowly moving traffic and I expected him to turn left into a side road, let me out and do a U-turn. It's legitimate at this junction and would be a simple thing to do and probably you'd be no more than three cars behind - if that really mattered to you on the occasion of your SIL being imminently bereaved. Any normal person would do it. But he's not fucking normal.

As we were approaching it he said: 'The traffic's coming to a stop. Get ready to get out Limited.' I thought he was joking and said: 'Okay X. Give me the signal and I'll do a commando roll.' His son said: 'Dad's not joking.' The look he gave me in the rear view mirror confirmed that. I jumped out on a muddy verge. What a fucking cunt my BIL is.

The very last time I accepted a lift from him was a day later when my sister called to tell me she'd received a call from the hospital to say we were required urgently and they'd pick me up. I was staying at my mum's at the time. I got washed and dressed in about 10 minutes all except for my shoes and coat and waited. My sister tore up the path and screamed: 'Why aren't you ready? You know he hates waiting!' She then tried to do my shoes up for me like I was five. I told her to leave off and walked down to the car deliberately slowly.

It wasn't 'Hurry up! Mummy's dying.' It was: 'You know he hates waiting!' What a fucking cunt.

Sorry for the hijack OP. The bile against my BIL has been rising for a long time and you triggered it. I've no idea why your woman waits outside the school

I'd be the one walking in all weathers too, it's 20 mins to school or an hour round trip via nursery. I have a car but traffic and parking is terrible so I'd rather hobble in than stress about parking, it keeps me mobile and gives me exercise too, even if painful. I do think people need to reduce car journeys where possible, and avoiding rain isn't a great excuse.

I do remember sitting on our driveway after a trip out with a sleeping child, or two, and enjoying a short period of silence. I'd totally understand why they are parking up early if that is the case.

Bloody hell limited he sounds awful.

Is the 2yo asleep? Maybe it's their nap time and she sits and reads a book or something??

my exes family used to collect the other grandchild from the same school as my children (never collected mine) they would get there early and take a nap in the car

Thanks lem73. I promise you, I'm not making it up. When it comes to giving people lifts he behaves like he's been asked to give someone a piggy back over the Sahara rather than drive a bit out of his way. On that last but one lift it wasn't even out of his way. I was turfed out into the mud on the way to his house.

He has an issue about people supposedly taking advantage of him and boasts about standing up against them and taking no shit. People do that. But not everyone. And you can cut them a bit of slack when it's your SIL and her mum is dying. I'm almost over it now.

Op I'd be very tempted to park my car in her 'spot' once or twice, just to see what would happen.
Would the whole world come to an end?

A question to the people who arrive an hour early at pick up time and park as close as possible, supposedly so they can have quiet time/read a book/daydream.
Why is it necessary to park so close?
Why not park a bit further away so you and your children can get a bit of exercise.

still think a lot of it is to avoid having to socially interact with the other parents

I used to pick up my dd from nursery at 2pm; she would fall asleep driving back so we'd just wait it out outside ds's school. And it wasn't worth going home in between anyway, not with the faff of persuading a two year old to wake up, take off shoes and coat, then put them on again half an hour later.

She does seem v antisocial. Her son is in ds's class and she has never spoke to me or anyone for that matter. No one knows her name. During our nursery year we never saw her despite her not working. Her H used to pick up and drop off byt im guessing that isnt an option anymore. So I think her main motive is to avoid people.

Oh and yes grandparents are the worst. And they park terribly! Taking up 2 spaces because they have a phobia of getting trapped in.

Sounds as if some of he people who turn up hours early and park really close, so they don't have to get out of the car, could have social anxiety.
They feel safe in their cars.

On the couple of days I do pick up I get there an hour early and park in the nearest space available! DD does clubs on those days and it's the only way I can get her straight in the car and to the clubs on time.
I take a coffee and either a book or paperwork. I love the peace and quiet!

It seems a bit of a waste of your day if she is going to do this every day for the next 10 years or however long she takes her kids and picks them up for!

They need a job or a hobby.

How do people have the time to waste an hour doing nothing? If I'm lucky enough to carry on with part time hours when my dc have both started school, I think I'll be racing around til the last minute trying to get stuff done before pick up. 3pm is so early to arrive at school anyway!

I also live close to my kids' school. Cars park in our road sometimes as early as 1.30pm for pick up at 3pm. We are in London, catchments are small. and there are four primary schools within walking distance from my house.

I always think even if they live on the outer reaches of the catchment it won't be a 90-minute walk away. And I am mildly envious of anyone who has an hour and a half free just to SIT.

My children are teenagers now and find their own way to school However a few years ago that could have been me. I suffer with severe agoraphobia and anxiety and would want to be able to park as close as possible to the school as being in the car was my safety zone and being able to see the car at all times. You mention she isn't very social and her husband used to do the school runs so I wonder if she has similar issues.

Looks like this happens all over the place then. The parents at DS' school are just the same, sometimes I'm on my way home for a cuppa before pick up time and there are around 10 cars already parked up outside the school. School finishes at 3pm and cars start arriving just before 2pm.

I did just laugh about not walking your child to school in the rain. What's going to happen to them? As long as they have appropriate clothes on there's no problem.