AIBU - and "me, me, me" about friend's new baby?

[Bigoldsupermoon0]

My closest friend has just (Friday night) had her first baby. She Whatsapped me at 3am to say "Hi, we've been blessed with a gorgeous baby [sex], weighing in at [weight]"

She was online when I saw the messages and responded in the morning - sent her a load of love-hearts, a big congrats and asked if she, baby and labour were all OK. Told her baby was lucky to have her as a mummy. She saw the messages and went offline.

Over the course of the day, she was on and offline every 10 minutes or so. I messaged her again later, just once about 12 hours later, to say I hoped everything was going OK, and that I was thinking of her. Again, she saw the message and went offline - she was online again about 10 minutes later and throughout the evening.

In the morning, I get a text saying, "Hi, sorry, mega busy yday and unsettled overnight, otherwise OK. Birth went a bit crazy, still managed decent delivery."

I replied to say as long as they were both OK etc. and to take it as easy as possible and let her family look after her. Again, seen, no reply.

AIBU to feel really hurt? She's not sent me a picture of the baby, or told me its name, but her sister has uploaded a photo to Instagram, so apparently I'm second to social media.

When I had my baby 18mo ago, friend was one of the first to know - at her request, she got a message as soon as baby was here, a pic and another text once we'd settled on a name. She was going to be my birth partner but ended up having to be away.

I've been busier in the last 18mo than I would've been previously, but I still thought we were close. I went over to see her a couple of times recently, and things were all good - took flowers, chocs, did her hair and eyebrows etc. and was looking forward to seeing her again soon.

Half of me is really upset and wondering if I'm actually not as good a friend as I'd thought, and half of me thinks I should stop being selfish and ridiculous bc she's literally just had a baby two days ago.

Smack some sense into me, please, but don't smack too hard - already smarting a bit!

OK, fair enough - I asked because I wanted some perspective, and I've had it - thanks to everyone who's posted.

FWIW, my big concern was just that I might've upset her - I should know better, having known her 14-odd years, but I just had a moment of anxiety about it.

To those who've said we're all different (esp after birth), you're right. I think I was just a bit taken aback by how different her behaviour has been compared to what she really wanted, and got, from me, but yes - post birth is weird, intense, exhausting and sometimes horrible, so point taken.

I'm probably not going to look at this thread again - appreciate the honesty, but get the feeling some posters enjoying the bashing a bit too much...

HummyMummy Sorry, to be clear, I didn't see the message at 3am - I texted her at 7am as soon as I saw it. She's two weeks early, so wasn't on the look-out.

Good stuff, Biggold. Give your head a wobble, phone away and crack out a

Ah, a unanimous AIBU where even the OP agrees. Rare stuff

You know you've BU so not going to bash. I was just going to suggest that in the next couple of weeks you take her lead - I had a baby 6 weeks ago and for the first couple of weeks I was sore, tired, hormonal... I didn't really want to see anyone and even replying to texts was an effort. If you send her a text then she'll get back to you when she's ready, I'm sure. Let her lead the way on visits too. I had a couple of friends who were quite pushy and texting every day to see the baby, and tbh I resented it. Let her come to you.

Yes I think you've had enough of a reality check, OP, and you've taken the grip handing well.

Things don't always go as planned or turn out as we imagine but I'm sure you and friend will be fine and you will be cooing over the baby in no time.

YAB madly U.

Aww, I think you sound lovely. Just excited for your mate, and sad not to be part of the early days. You're allowed your own feelings, even if a tad U given the situation, and as long as you aren't making them her problem I can't see you need to have any words with yourself. You're just a bit disappointed, that's all.

Sure you will get your cuddle really soon.

I had millions of messages pinging in when I had my baby and I didn't know what I'd sent to whom in the end and I was so exhausted I could barely type. Yes I read things but that's easier than typing. Especially when you're trying to feed a baby. Give her a break.

Ahh sorry read that wrong! Well then YABVU but I can understand when someone extremely close acts out of character it can feel a little strange..don't take it personally though

YABU. She will be overwhelmed by anything, she loves you as much as ever!

So in the nicest way, get a little grip you dafty

I liked this comment

Taken well OP.

YABU for being so reasonable in being told you were unreasonable.

Beware many posters only reading the op and not your admission of unreasonableness so you might want to keep a tin hat on just in case...

I was like that with my best mate. I was overwhelmed and was not right. I eventually took baby round at 2 weeks.

You are being silly :)

YABU especially as you did get a personal message from your friend, and also it was her sister who uploaded a photo to social media not her.
So, she's just had a baby and she's using social media a bit less than usual?
I think you can still be friends?

I can understand where you're coming from especially as she demanded and got all the info she wanted straight after your own child was born. All you can do is wait for her and ask her the child's name!

You are being unreasonable.
The woman has just had a baby, she will have all sorts of emotions going on and a baby to take care of so replying to your messages probably isn't top of her priority.

She sent a message to say she'd had her baby, I didn't send more than that to any friends for about a week. I wouldn't expect more than a babies arrive text from any friend.