Am i really a horrible selfish mother?

[Beth2511]

Dd is 19 months and hit and miss nap wise. Notmally goes down at 11am, if she refuses i try again at 12.30 and again if refusd will try once more at 1.30

If she wont nap by then i will do everutging possible to keep her aeale until bed time because if she sleeps any later than 2.30pm she will be bouncing off the walls until midnight.

Just been screamed at by my mother that im cruel and selfish after one of those days because at 4.30 she finally decided she was knackered and i kept her awake.

Cant help feeling like a horrible mum for making my child suffer when she now wants to nap when i have tried three times to get her to nap.

I've not read all the replies, but if you are trying to get your toddler to sleep in the day, not once, not twice, but three times - and then setting a rule of time after which not sleep .... then you sound like a darn good and sensible mother to me! Be reassured op.

She is at an age where naps will be hit or miss god knows who your mother thinks she is saying that you know your dd best id be telling my mother where to go, if you want her to nap try after lunch but if she wont nap you cant force her,

Absolutely not a terrible parent. Our cut off is 3pm because otherwise he'll be awake until easily 10pm and it's torture for all of us. Neither of my dc are good sleepers so we have loads of rules for making sure they get a reasonable stab at a good night's sleep!

no naps after 3ish and if they do nod off take them to your mothers x

Your mother is the bad parent. Not you.

Tell her to shut up. She's screaming at you like that!

I had to do that too. And yes it is a bit difficult seeing them struggling to keep their eyes open. However I knew that if I let DD sleep late afternoon, it would trigger a chaotic sleep routine that would, within a couple of days have knocked-on to her being awake at times when the entire house was sleeping, and miserably tired.

Grandparents only see a distressed child. They seem to have forgotten what it's like to juggle many competing needs.

Your mum needs to back off.

YANBU. I distinctly remember standing outside in the rain with dd3 at about 5 in the evening because I'd turned my back for a few minutes and she had sneaked off to the couch and fallen asleep She hasn't been scarred by the experience, I promise . That time when they don't need a full nap but can't manage the full day was hell but it didn't last too long ( it was a while ago so my memory might be clouded a bit)

Yanbu. Your Mum sounds unhinged, I would stop talking to her about how you care for your kids as much as possible. Disengage from any conversations she starts.

How ironic that your mum would be so unsupportive and mean to her own child