This one has a longish back story, sorry! By best friend of 15 years lives in another major UK city, about 2 hours from me (I live in the closest city to where we grew up). I have a few clients in his city and so about once every 6 weeks, he lets me spend a night or 2 at his.
He also works a lot in my city (his now old workplace has their head office here) and spends about 4 or 5 nights a month in my flat. He was here so often we actually turned our home office into a (very small) bedroom.
When we were both students at different unis, we both loved to drink and party a lot. I grew out of this about 5 years ago, whereas he is probably drinking more than ever. I don't have a problem with the fact that he drinks, but he has been so selfish with it over the past year or so, including:
- Missing my birthday as he was too hungover
- Cancelling other plans because he's too hungover
- When he's with me and my partner and we want to leave a bar at about 10, he'll go find someone else to party with and come back later (3/4am)
- At least 3 times, he's said he is going with work friends for 'a drink' and then we get a text around 11pm saying he's wasted and can we leave keys for him somewhere (then gets in at 3/4am)
- If we've planned something nice for the day, he'll cancel because he's too hungover and insist on staying on the sofa - I love a lazy day too but sometimes it can be every other weekend
- When I'm in his city, it's normally because I have a meeting early the next day and get there in the afternoon of the day before. The last 2 times, he's asked me to meet him at a bar and then thrown a tizzy when I haven't wanted to drink or go back to a friends house that I've never met before
Now to today. About 8 weeks ago we booked tickets to see an artist we're both pretty obsessed with and I cannot emphasize enough how excited I've been to see them.
I've also had a particularly stressful week, and am in the office right now trying to finish a project that has been a bit of a ball ache.
My friend asked on Thursday if he could arrive on Friday eve instead of Saturday as he's been invited to a party on Saturday night too (staying somewhere else Sat night). I said that's not ok this time as we had STB-FIL & STB-SMIL staying with us on Saturday night and I can't spend Saturday at the laundrette with all the bedding as I need to work.
In the end, he promised he'd do the bedding and help DFiance clean the flat ready for the ILs so I said ok.
I also said I was working late on Friday and could walk the 1 mile from the city centre to my flat with him around 7, or he could go straight back to mine to chill with my DF (they are both really good friends too). He said that since I was going to be working until 7, he may as well go for a couple of drinks with work colleagues in the pub near my office.
I leave at 7 with no sign of friend, he gets back to mine at 8, totally ratarsed - having enjoyed 5 pints in 2.5 hours.
On Saturday I made us brunch and then got ready to go to work. Friend was too hungover to help DF with chores so instead texted another friend of ours to see if he could instead sit on his sofa. Other friend said yes but it wasn't until I was leaving the flat that I knew best friend wasn't staying, and I didn't have time to have the 'you're taking the piss convo'.
Anyway, I'm back in the office now and friend has sent me a message asking what time the show starts tonight, I said it starts at 8 but I would like to get there for doors-open at 6:30. Show is in a pub so there's no standing or queuing, just sitting and chilling with a good friend!
He's said he's more hungover than he's ever been in his life, and there's no chance in hell of him making 6:30, he wants to go for 7:45. I'm livid.
This show is the reason he came to my city for the weekend, the reason he could stay at ours and it's an event I thought we were both looking forward to massively. If we arrive at 7:45 there's no chance we'd get a table so would end up stood at the back with no view.
I just know what was supposed to be a really great night is now going to me me stood with a really miserable git who's too much of a state to even stand up.
Oh, and the show was my birthday present.
AIBU to be so angry with him?