To think a good father would want to spend time with dc on fathers day.

[Highlandfling80]

We have 3 girls 13 10 and 3. I am virtually Sah so I am with kids constantly. Dh has arthritis so tends to take himself up to his bed to watch TV every evening leaving me sorting house and kids etc.
This weekend Dd1 was involved in a parade. It was me taking her of course Upon my return Dd2 was in one room playing computer games and Dd3 was napping. So I guess little interaction took place Yesterday evening was an early Fathers Day treat
So this am Dd1 was on a trip out for the day with her dance club. I gave him the option of going as many of the dads were but he didn't want to. I than suggested us or just him taking younger two out but he didn't want to.
So this morning I dropped Dd off for her day out and grabbed some shopping. I got home to find dh playing computer games. He came down some 3 hours later and is dozing on the chair waiting for Grand Prix to start. Still no interaction with Dd3.
Ainu to think this is unfair.

Tbh, I see Mother's Day as the one (ok maybe two) days of the year when I can completely please myself. If that means having a nap and watching my preferred tv rather than being with the kids then so be it.

If he regularly doesn't do stuff with the children then YANBU.

He was never really hands on Plato. He did more when dd1 was a baby but early did see to her the rare times she woke when Dd2 was a newborn. As they got older things changed and I suppose I didn't mind doing it all as my workload decreased as they started school.
Dd3 wasn't planned and early on he made it clear she was my responsibility. That really hurt and tbh it nearly destroyed our relationship. As she got older he became more involved but has still in 13 years never bathed any of them for example. I do all night wakings.
He does normally say if he is having a bad day.

Then your issue isn't the pain as such but the fact he just doesn't see looking after his dcs, spending time with them as his 'role'.
The fact he said that dc3 was 'yours' only is very telling TBH.

The pain only comes in because it will restrict him to do things. But I don;t believe that's the issue. (As I said, even when you are in pain or exhausted, you can find ways to spend time with your dcs that you can manage)

Thank you Plato sorry you are suffering