To feel a bit sad

[TerriHatchet]

It has just hit me that I won't have anymore children. I have ds 15mo who is healthy and happy and I know I should be grateful. I have pnd which means I know I will never have any more dc, I struggled so much in ds first few months, I would never put my family through that again. I love ds so so so much I would never want to jeopardise his future but I feel a tiny bit sad to know that I will never have any more kids.

You never know OP what the future may hold and I know people that have gone on to have others and not suffered with the next.

I also only have one DS and didn't have any more for other reasons. I felt guilty but guess what, he's fantastic and I was able to give him so much more to him being an only child. He's 18 now and has fantastic friends probably due to this, he also has cousins that are more like brothers so its not all bad.

I was just like you 7 years ago. Time healed me and 3 years ago another dc arrived.

I'm now happy to be finished with baby's. My family is complete.

Yes I have pangs of sadness. When my PND kicks in its more overwhelming but honestly who knows what's round the corner.

Give yourself time to get better and hug you dc every moment you can.

I was crying today about this, its sad and you need to grieve. Im still grieving and hope time will heal.

I made that decision for exactly the same reason. I know exactly what dwells at the bottom of my darkest PND days and I thank God regularly that I won, not it.

DH has fully supported my choice, although he would have loved more DC. I cried when I got rid of my maternity clothes as I'd imagined I'd wear them a second time around.

DS is now 11. We have a really close relationship and we are able to fully support his hobbies, dreams and fads. His sporting commitments take hours of our time and it would feel really selfish to subject another DC to it all. He's a lovely only, self sufficient and friendly. His friends with younger siblings enjoy it here as no-one bothers them!

In time I hope you will be able to move on fromyour grief, it is real grief.

I understand op. I have two children but have found the first 6 months crippling both times. Ds is now approaching 1 and although I had dreams of much larger family I will stop here for the good of my mental health and for my existing family.
It doesn't mean I won't long for another but whether I had 1 child or 10 I now know that I have done what I personally can do. So have you and you should be proud of yourself and your DS. Whether you have another one day or not doesn't matter- you made a perfect boy so should replace any sadness with pride!