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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to want money for ruined mattress?

40 replies

cupofrooibos · 18/06/2016 21:34

Hi all, long time lurker but joined today specifically to post this dilemma.

Last night, I invited three friends back to ours for drinks after closing time at our local pub.

One of the friends is more of an acquaintance really, have known him for about ten years but only see him at friends' parties a couple of times a year and don't know him well enough to go for a drink on my own with him IYKWIM.

Anyway, he was really quite drunk. He went upstairs to use the loo but went into the spare room, threw up on the bed (red wine vomit Confused) and then fell asleep. He was a dead weight but the rest of us stripped the bed around him and left him to sleep it off. I wasn't really happy about him staying (certainly wouldn't have invited him to stay!) but it was late and I just wanted to go to bed.

In the night he was sick again on the bare mattress.

This morning he was full of apologies and gave the mattress a good scrub. It's still badly stained though. As he left he asked for my bank details to transfer me money for a new mattress - his suggestion. I text him my bank details with links to a mattress (much, much cheaper than the Tempur one he ruined!) and the bedding which is expensive and very pale, so now badly stained and unusable.

The ruined mattress has only been slept on 4/5 times. If it's relevant, this is our first house and we've only been in since October, so most of our belongings are reasonably new and we're pretty house proud / territorial!

I've not had a reply to my text (12 hours ago) and a mutual friend has said I shouldn't bank on getting any money from him.

Have definitely learnt my lesson about hosting post-pub parties, but AIBU to have a) asked for the money, b) actually expect to receive some and c) chase him in a day or two?

OP posts:
pearlylum · 18/06/2016 22:42

I'm annoyed that he stayed without being invited

Call me old fashioned but I don't allow uninvited people to stay overnight.
Who get the say on this? Some randomer looking for a bed- or you who owns the home?
If a man you don't know that well is very drunk then don't invite him back to your house. If he is becoming too intoxicated while he is drinking at yours then call a cab. Don't let a drunk stranger sleep in your home.

Original poster
cupofrooibos · 18/06/2016 22:43

I think not mentioning or apologising for it is PaulAnka!

OP posts:
Original poster
cupofrooibos · 18/06/2016 22:48

Not old fashioned pearlylum you're spot on. I absolutely should have been more assertive (or just assertive full stop!). Have been feeling dreadful about it all day, no question.

OP posts:
MyMurphy · 18/06/2016 22:54

At the end of the day, I thought he did a lovely thing bringing her here and making sure that she was safe. Her lack of gratitude was probably embarrassment , I guess. I saw her a couple of days later, no mention of it, not even a thank you for letting her stay. I was also annoyed that I had to sleep downstairs too, so that she didn't choke on her vomit. (Plus the dog had never met her.) I wouldn't believe that somebody would be so brazen. I waited for the flowers to arrive (didn't happen!)

MyMurphy · 18/06/2016 22:56

We talk about "Weegate" often! Smile

pearlylum · 18/06/2016 22:57

OP don't beat yourself up about this,
As I said the same thing happened to me, it was a work colleague and he threw up over my sofa and bedding, in a house I had bought a few months earlier.
I was livid with him and kicking myself for being so accommodating to a guy I didn't even like very much.
However he did feel dreadful about the incident- not so much the next morning, probably too hungover- but on the Monday there was an envelope with a nice letter of apology and cash to pay for the cleaning costs.
I didn't make that mistake again - and i am even stricter nowadays- if guests come over then it will be drinks earlier in the day- a lunch or a tea time BBQ, and everyone out by 8pm. doors locked.

TooMuchMNTime · 18/06/2016 22:58

Murphy, did she even realise she did it?
OP if you're happy with a professional clean maybe tell him that so he doesn't block your number or something! I can imagine you were massively stressed, sounds like a mare.

A11TheSmallTh1ngs · 18/06/2016 23:03

I wouldn't buy a mattress for my spare room that was so expensive that I'd have to claim on my insurance if it were damaged. Spare rooms are for slightly crummy mattresses that encourage guests to leave after 3 days

Original poster
cupofrooibos · 18/06/2016 23:09

A11TheSmallTh1ngs it's a long and boring story about our mattress configuration Confused our spare room is much bigger than ours and fits a king size bed, and we were lucky enough to be offered a king size tempur mattress so that's why it's in the spare room. Our bedroom (and bed!) is smaller but has a fireplace and much better view Grin

Good point TooMuchMNTime I'll text him in the morning to let him know.

OP posts:
MyMurphy · 18/06/2016 23:15

Toomuch, I think that she must have known (she had her clothes on throughout). In any event I am assuming her boss may have told her, as they had to pay for a new sofa. (It was leather, don't know if it could have been cleaned but i would have known forever!!!! Shock

TooMuchMNTime · 18/06/2016 23:32

Murphy they might have been too embarrassed
I know of someone who shat themselves at a work do and nothing got mentioned by management, who knew about it and also it caused issues for the poor cleaners (and security guards who couldn't lock up because the person had to wait there for her partner to bring clean clothes) but no management comments at all.

Pinkandbluemcdonald5 · 18/06/2016 23:37

I had a known accidental (drunk) person round, she fell and pulled a cupboard off the wall. She was only there because she was part of the crowd. I never thought to ask for repair costs, I was more annoyed at myself for allowing her in my house.

Original poster
cupofrooibos · 18/06/2016 23:39

Yes Pink am definitely annoyed at myself Blush it's a rubbish feeling isn't it.

OP posts:
Pinkandbluemcdonald5 · 18/06/2016 23:58

Cup, I have been more alert since then. You probably won't get any money back, but you will not let it happen again.

Vickyyyy · 19/06/2016 01:42

Erm, main thing that stood out about this for me was why on earth strip the bed and leave the bare mattress beneath a person who has already puked on it once? I would have at the very least stuck a bunch of towels and maybe a plastic sheet under him...I would be paranoid he would also piss the bed being in that state

This is probably besides the point though. I don't think I would chase for money for the mattress. However, I would also not have hosted a party to begin with having been through this one too many times when younger...last party I ever threw ended up with BLOOD all over my brand new cream carpet. So yeah, if you value your house or posessions at all, don't host parties. especially not with anyone you don;t know well. I have close friends round but thats it.

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