AIBU to think this may end in divorce!

[Insabbathstheatre]

We have spent the last two years doing up our tiny home and are having a home office/ guest room built in the garden. Not cheap and although would have liked the real wood cladding - compromised and went for the much less expensive version - I wanted brown as the colour - but was persuaded this wasn't a good idea - so agreed light grey / blue - but said could be swayed to another colour as long as it wasn't white (under any circumstances).
Last night DH picked me up from the station and we went for a quick meal on our way home. Thought DH was acting a bit odd - but he said everything was fine and told me the builders had started to put the cladding up. I asked if it was a nice grey/blue - he said he thought it was more of a pale blue but he really liked it and I replied that's fine - I like blue and really didn't care as long as it wasn't white! Got home - guess what it's white! Did he think I wouldn't notice - he wouldn't speak during my slight rant other than to say why are you crying!

DS when asked what colour the cladding was stated 'it's white'. It will be too expensive to change and at this moment I just think every time I look outside it will eat away at me and I will hate him more and more - have been other things in the past (that I mostly laugh about now) - but after 20 years of marriage this is a big fat expensive one - AIBU or can I learn to laugh about this too!

Was your husband there when they started the cladding or was it a surprise to him too? The answer to this question would influence how annoyed I was with him. If he was there but didn't say anything I would be very annoyed indeed.

Crikey, Crossroads! You still with him?!??

From your post it sounds like your DH knew it wasn't what you wanted, yet took you for a meal (delaying strategy?) to try to talk you round - why didn't he grow a set and speak to the builders to say "this isn't what we ordered" and cause you this stress?
As soon as he'd seen it wasn't right, should've said something there and then like "oi, mate - get that off right now before the Mrs gets home, I'll delay her but you get that stuff off right now!" - baffled as to why he wouldn't do that...

Yes Greyponcho I agree - DH says the meal wasn't a delaying strategy and as he cant visualise assumed the colour was much lighter than expected (white!) - but was what we ordered!! Builders will be here by 12 to sort and has been agreed we ordered blue/grey!
This was my first post (and as I'm definitely in the wrong now) probably my last - as seems I am the twat here not DH !

I think Crossroads3 needs support not me - start a leaving strategy and get advice 🍀

So he was there when they put up white cladding instead of grey/blue? He's a reasonably intelligent man I assume and not colour blind. I'm not sure you are all that wrong to be annoyed. He could have stopped them before the builders had done all that work.

In the end it was not the husband at fault but most posts were of the knee jerk LTB type, it must be the man's fault and he should be punished eg
buy a garden doghouse for DH to visit whenever he fucks up.
Just horrible, imagine a man suggesting that whenever a woman makes a mistake.......

Actually I would think the same if it was a woman who was there when this happened. It's not about man hating at all and I have a certainly don't think men are more useless than women, but it would have saved a lot of hassle if he had spoken up sooner. Not remotely a ltb situation though.

Anyway it's good new that they will sort it out and you don't have to spend money on a divorce. Wish I had a garden room with blue/grey cladding. It sounds lovely.

It was the dog kennel bit that I objected to. Not appropriate for men or women. I asked once before on a similar thread but never got a reply. How many women take control of traditional male roles such as plastering, plumbing or even talking directly to builders? If I feel strongly about something I deal with it directly.

Builders been round - yes is their mistake - accept hubby didn't realise till I pointed this out ! Alls well that ends well - another to add to the anecdotes we laugh about ! Thanks for perspective though 😘

I do agree with you about some of the "men are useless" comments on some thread mrsmuddles.

We are having building work at the moment and I will have to deal with the builders because I'm around more and I don't mind that at all. I'm quite good where tough negotiations are concerned and he is better at the softly softly approach.

We had a flaming row this week when I thought he hadn't taken a tough enough approach to a situation and had to eat humble pie when I realised that he was right and I would have messed up completely.

Hmm that was a bit rambling and not entirely relevant to the thread, but I've been feeling bad about it all week.

Oh don't talk bollocks Mrsmuddlepies. It is a standing joke in this house that one of us is in the doghouse sometimes, whether it be me, or DH. Nothing man hating about it.

OP, glad it has worked out.

On the subject of colours, I remember many years ago getting very and when DH inexplicably painted our garden shed bright pink (yes, seriously). In my defence, I was heavily pregnant and very hormonal with DD3 at the time (she is now almost 14), so this was a major catastrophe to me. To add insult to injury, our ginger cat had brushed against the wet paint and now had a pink side, and the colour clash on him was so bleurrgh to me.

DH was also as to why he had chosen pink, and the next day repainted it to blue! I let it slide then. . Couldn't do much about the cat though, it just faded out gradually as he moulted and I brushed him.