To be fed up of smug married family member

[SyrizaSalou]

She is a few years older than me (27 to my 24), and gave me a bit of a lecture today about how at her age everyone gets settled down so not to get too spooked by it... She mentioned how a lot of her friends are upset that they're not getting married like her While she means well I find it all a bit offensive! I have a happy fulfilling life, lots of friends and have invested in these relationships a lot. Without meaning to compare, she has gone from boyfriend to boyfriend and often neglected her friends to throw herself into a new relationship whereas I have done the opposite. I find it quite patronising that despite this she feels the need to advise me on how to live my life!

I simply cannot fathom why in this day and age so many people still associate being hooked up with a man the pinnacle of happiness or a real achievement.

So much for female independence!

"Maybe when I'm as old as you I'll want to settle down, too."

The person I know who bangs on about how great it is to be married is married to the biggest tightwad, short arsed, unfortunate looking knobend ever he speaks highly of me.

Being married itself is not an achievement.

File under ignore.

Smile sweetly and say "I'm happy as I am. It's a good thing we all want different things, wouldn't life be boring if we were all the same."

Fight back by getting her the sort of useful gifts that married couples who have settled down can't do without. Begin with some drain unblocker and a crocheted spare toilet roll cover.

When I was 24 I was having the time of my life visiting European cities with friends, working hard, getting drunk a lot and being a bit of a promiscuous floozy
I'm 30 with 2 toddlers and a great DP (engaged). I got with DP at 27. My single years were some of the best years of my life. Bloody enjoy them. If anything I feel sorry for her being shackled at 27! If I'd had my way I'd only just be looking for a partner now but I got pregnant very quickly with DP when I was 28.
I wouldn't change my life now but I'm glad I had that time of being single with my friends.

Maybe she's still on a high from her wedding? It happens to some people and she wants you to "feel the joy" too? I don't understand why you'd feel annoyed or offended by her, unless this is all she ever talks to you about every single time she meets you.

Just live your life how you like.

I would laugh at her, she sounds pathetic. No idea, what her hidden agenda is there but, it doesn't sound nice. And the fact she drops her friends all the time suggests she is an utter tit.

Just ignore. From my own experience and that of my friendship circle, relationships that start in your early or mid twenties rarely last into your thirties. You change and learn so much - it's better to get that done while you're single and then settle down afterwards, if that's what you want. It's a lot more fun and saves a lot of heartache!

I know the type. Just wait till she has kids and suddenly becomes an expert on that!

ArundelTomb who says I have 3 cousins and none of them are married yet. My brother isn't married yet my older cousin didn't get married until she was in her 30's.

I would tell the smug family member to mind her own business.

I didn't get a chance to enjoy single years I have always been with someone. I do always wonder what it would be like. Enjoy you're single years I was still wet behind the ears at 24 and I had 3 children by then. With the same man and we have been together for 14 years.

Don't rush into anything you could end up marrying a tosser.

I don't think it sounds as if she thinks people will only be happy like her, I think she is just insecure in her life choices and wants validation for her decisions by making everyone like her. I can't believe when the average age for marrying is rising that all her friends are settling down at 27. Just pity her back.

Irrelevant, but I would love to be 24 again! Enjoy yourself.

I'm nearly 34 and still not married (expecting a baby with DP of ten years though).

Just tel her that as you're in your early 20s you are having a great time partying and shagging about to possibly think of a thing! But as she's in her late 20s you realise she might think differently.