To change our family surname?

[QueenE27]

Me and DH don't have anything to do with DH's family. They have chosen this and quite frankly we wouldnt let them back in now they've passed up on knowing our children. Said children are 3 and 1 so still young. We were thinking of inventing our own family surname. We could just all revert to my maiden name but I never liked that anyway. Thoughts?

Go for it!

I think its a fantastic idea!

It's a great idea, you should definitely do it.

Love this idea. Go for it!

Do it. My sister and her wife chose a new surname for themselves as double barrelling would have been ridiculous length wise and both their original names had to be spelled out for everyone.

I also know of a family who were called Higginbottom and before they had children they talked about the name calling the man had had all the way through school because of the bottom aspect. They changed it to a brand new one.

Your children are still young enough that this isn't that big of a deal so do it now before school etc

Do it! We did it in my family, it's fab!
It's funny when someone says "oh that road is named after you/ are you related to so and so" nope!

Do it! My husband and I meshed our surnames, part his, part mine, into a new name, because I didn't want to just take his and double barreling wouldn't have worked. Fortunately it created something that sounds totally normal. If there's no connection to preserve, why not choose a family name you all like better?

You should do it if it feels right. My dd changed her surname so she didn't have that link to her father and his vile family. I went back to my maiden name when I divorced. No way did I want a reminder every time I wrote my name. A name is a lot more than just a name sometimes.

What about the Fossils? LIke in Ballet shoes?!

My name belongs to the late ex-husband. It's a long name. I've often thought of changing it to 'Li' because its short. Or 'Love', because it makes me laugh. 'Mrs Love?' 'Hello, Love!' 'What name is it?' 'Love.'

If it make you both happy then do it.

Though it is a pain getting your name changed all over the place - getting a couple of copies of the name change docs helps -so you can send them off and get a few done at the same time.

Thanks everyone, we're going to go for it 😊 X

Consuela-Banana has a nice ring to it. But it seems to me you aren't changing your name so much as seeking a witness protection programme. Have you considered legal means of keeping them away from you?

Why would you say that when I've clearly put before that we would tell our kids about them? they live 20 mins drive away, they don't want to know. We just want a change of name so we don't have the name connection.

I could out myself here. Much of my side is complicated European and Ibwas glad to get shot of my maiden name. My DH's name is a very important 7/8 Century Old English name and he is v b proud of it. If it had been something like Johncock or Ankerson or Rectanus (I've met one of those!) I'd have encouraged him to agree to a change. In those circumstances I think he'd have loved me enough to agree.

I have spent my entire life spelling my first and last names. And explaining to every hcp under the sun their origins and why they were chosen. It isn't small talk. It's so fucking boring.

Go for I op.

I so wanted to use the Icelandic tradition with our children. I love their surnames

I know someone who did this (both from abusive families) and it was the best thing they did. They essentially started their own branch on the family tree independent of everyone else.

When I left home I changed my surname because I didn't want to carry my step-dads name. I don't regret it one bit!

I think your children are the right age to do it - pre school - so crack and and get a good shortlist down!

What a fab idea, go for it OP. It makes me want to change mine too.

I know someone who did this. They chose their favourite place as their surname. It was a lovely name and meaningful for them.

I know someone who did this, they changed from their dads unusual foreign name to an English one because they hated him... They live their new name.
But I also know someone who had her dads name, then her mum changed it to her maiden name when they split and then changed it to her new mans name, now she has just got married and she hates it because every time she fills in a form she has to list 4 different names and all the years she was called them
So it's a nice idea in theory but not so sure in practice?

There should be a surnames board like the baby names board where people list their top picks and reasoning

A couple I know invented a new surname in marriage. It's a lovely idea I think.

Yes I think it'd be great if people just chose their surnames. Most started off as descriptive anyway.

Some are definitely better than others-

McQueen as someone mentioned above
Love, ditto
Taylor
Winner
Gold
Best
Goode
Bright

The kind of surnames that get used as first names are also usually good.

Spencer
Andrews
Harrison
Ryder
Mason
Maxwell
Mitchell
Darcy
Williams
Jackson
Grant
Argyle
Reece
Cameron

I write under a couple of pseudonyms and always felt very uncomfortable about using names that didn't 'belong' to me. So I hit on the idea of using names from further back in my family tree, that are genetically mine, so to speak.

That could be a good solution, too.

The name I use most was my great grandma's name. The bonus is, it's more memorable than mine.

The postie even delivers letters here that have that surname on so now it feels like 'my' name anyway.