Just do what you suits you best. I've always had parties at home because I enjoy it (but make sure you an offer alternative activities if it rains) or hire a hall or choose an activity elsewhere.
For parties at home/village hall, there are two schools of thought. (1) throw children in to decorated space and let them get on with it, or, (2) control activities throughout and stick to rough schedule (being a control freak I favour the latter!)
Whichever location/format you choose it helps if you:
- Organise as much as possible (down to tiniest detail) in advance. There is never a moment spare on the actual day/during party.
- Have as many helpers on hand as humanly possible (particularly at arrival and departure times) and, for that age group, have someone watching main exit for escapees. For four year olds, handy to have spare helpers to comfort the child who is shy and doesn't want to join in/take child to loo and bring back/stop "exuberant" child squishing birthday cake before candles have been blown out, so that you can stay in room at all times and direct proceedings. Also good to have someone on hand to take photos throughout so you don't have to!
-Make a quick note of who brought what present so you can thank the parents later on.
- I live abroad where parents drop off their 4 yr olds and leave (in the main) so I take down emergency contact numbers/details of any allergies. Sometimes helps - for whole class parties - if dc have name stickers too. If parents do stay - don't get drawn in to making cups of tea and coffee for parents - its too time consuming. I directed them to a pre-prepared table (innacessible to children) which had ice tea (Delia Smith recipe) + bottles of water and snacks on it and told them to help themselves.
- For catering we had either indoor or outdoor picnics using these sort of food boxes. In one fell swoop they eliminate the need for plates, serving dishes, having to set everything out on big table, having to clear it all up again, endlessly handing stuff around, leaving you free to help the children eat (some do need assistance putting straw in juice box, opening yoghurt lid etc etc). Bit of hassle when you initially fill them, but plain sailing from there on. And you can bung them all in bags to clear up quickly at the party and free space quickly and then sort out rubbish/recycling properly afterwards.
Here, (in the summer) we set out picnic rugs on the lawn and just hand each child their individual box. The children absolutely love them! But if it rains the rugs can go inside too. I tend to serve drinks separately (juice boxes or bottles of water) on ice in big plastic tubs handed around. (Prevents open cups being spilled everywhere.)
Fill food boxes with selection from following:
mini yoghurt, mini grizzini sticks, mini packets Pringles, tiny ‘cones’ of salted popcorn, carrot sticks, pizza cut up in to small squares
cheese cubes or mini Baby-belles (horrid I know but children seem to eat them, fruit salad (prepared on morning) in plastic tubs
tiny soft ‘milk’ rolls containing either ham or Philadelphia
fruit pockets, tiny biscuit. (Cut and eat cake separately later on.)
- one small plastic fork and spoon and one napkin
DO NOT RECOMMEND: grapes or sausage (choking hazard – perfect size for small excitable wind-pipes!) and anything containing chocolate (melts everywhere and causes huge mess).
Don’t be tempted to include juice carton in food box. Too heavy.
As for activities, we've had the usual, pass the parcel, Simon says, treasure hunts, bubble wrap bounce, deck quoits, egg and spoon race, pin the tail on the donkey, memory game on a tray, photo cardboard cut-outs. I've usually made/prepared all of these quite cheaply myself in advance. You don't really need a theme for 4 year olds but it can help when prepping games.
It's good to reserve two collective activities such as colouring a large mural, or blowing bubbles or play doh on a plastic sheet or some such that dc an just join in with as they come, for beginning and end of party when you are waiting for parents to leave or to arrive.
Have a rough schedule of proceedings on wall in large letters for you and helpers to refer to ie 2pm greet everyone, 2.30pm egg and spoon race, 3.00pm, pass the parcel, 3.30pm picnic, 4pm cake and singing happy birthday, 4.20pm punch and judy show, 5pm home time!
Have a couple of spare games prepped in case schedule goes faster than planned or one game doesn't go well.
Good to have on hand: scissors, sellotape, blue tack, plasters, rubbish bags, Dettol and sick bucket (just in case! - hopefully not needed) notebook and pen, spare batteries for camera and test music for games in advance etc.
Personally, I don't do balloons (for every 3 you blow up successfully, 5 burst imho) but find helium balloons (controversial I know) make good going away presents and easy decorations too. Btw, have extra loot bags or little presents available for any siblings that come to fetch child at end!
Last tip > have bottle of gin ready on ice for when it is all over!!
HTH and that your son has a good time!