Do you think This is for the best

[Hadbetterdays]

Ds is at a special needs residential college. He's been working with his current tutor for about seven months. His tutor took on another high needs student he has four students in total who has a lot of problems with regard to safe guarding which inculde mental health issues and drug abuse. So she takes up a lot of time. She also interrupes ds's allocated Time with the tutor. Ds's has now said that he doesn't want to work with the tuttor if he is also going to be working with this girl. The tuttor has now said that he won't pick between them even though he promised ds he would work with him next year. In my option the fairest thing that the college could do is to make both students work with a new member of staff.

I do think both children should have new tutors, I understand the girl has complex needs but letting her keep her tutor shows that her tactics have worked and it wouldn't be fair on your son to be forced to switch tutors whilst she gets to keep him.

It's completely the tutors fault, he should be professional enough to realise that constantly interrupting a students one - one time is not okay, I would actually put in a complaint about him, this is effecting your son and that's not okay, he needs to be called up on his behaviour, so far it just sounds like he's ignoring you.

The tutor just keeps saying that the girl doesn't have a problem with sharing. She's not going to have a problem with it as it's not her being put last.

I can understand why you are uncomfortable with this, and echo a previous poster that this is bordering on bullying with the tone this other girl is taking in regards to your son. Have you gone above the tutor yet?

Go to the Head/Principal and outline the problem.

Has your son got X hours of 1to1 per week scheduled? if so, it needs to be demonstrated that's what he's getting for his education and that time is definitely not interrupted

The tutor seems to be spectacularly missing the point, perhaps the involvement of his superiors would open his eyes a little. If he's giving 1to1 support, the timing of that support cannot be shared with another pupil because then it's 1 to 2 support.
The way you've described it, in these shared sessions, the tutor is giving the girl something like 85% support and your son is getting 15% support all the time the tutor is teaching them together.

It's not on.

I have these also been an issue with her the other week when my son was talking to the tuttor and she came along and said "do you need rescuing" this was apparently directed at my son even though his back was to her and she was facing the tuttor. I think it was directed at the tuttor and not my son.

It would also help if you have a paper trail with school and document the way they intend to deal with this, then pick them up on things if it's not resolved.

So she's manipulating. Or it would appear. Definitely get the head or other appropriate staff member involved. Isn't there a safe room/chill out room she could be sent to and be left to wait till tutor becomes available?. Don't know if this is feasible. If the tutor pitching it as she will get agitated if not helped, well your DS is getting agitated because of it at home, so why should her needs trump his just because he is bottling his feelings up?

That's how I feel about it but the college can't appear to see that.

I would find out the complaints process and follow it. As your ds is older, can he write down/draw out on paper how he feels about the girl interrupting his sessions and submit that as evidence as well? Your call if he's able to do that and won't affect his mental health.

Think you need to raise it with tutor

We are talking about a child with special individual needs who is being denied their entitlement to one to one dedicated tutoring by another child demanding tutors time outside of their own allocated slot

The tutor is clearly not managing the situation effectively and the result is your child is suffering - think you need to have a word - and don't feel guilty in anyway about doing so

Sorry had missed that you had raised it with the tutor and got no decent response then yes follow whatever the complaints procedure is -
Could be lots of things going on - but one could be tutor finds girl difficult to manage and has no strategies/techniques to reign her in - doesn't want to admit this to you - so let's her carry on unchecked - then implies there is no problem - happy to let your son bear the brunt

Perhaps needs to be brought to the attention of others - probably the mismanagement of the girl may also be impacted other pupils too and may be part of a broader issue

I will be rasing it higher.

Update, I phoned the head teacher of the college. He said that knowing the two young people involved they should never have been placed with the same tuttor and that in his option it's never going to work.

What was his solution then?

He doesn't know but he's said he will update me when he's spoken to other members of staff. I think he will remove them both.

Ok. Keep us updated.