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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think going on holiday with a baby/toddler is never fun?

170 replies

Makeupbabes · 13/06/2016 22:38

Is it just me who finds this?
We went away last year only to Prestatyn but my god did I find it hard, so much so that we actually left a day earlier as I couldn't wait to get back to normality.

I found my 18 month old DS to be a bit overwhelmed (& wouldn't sleep well or nap) by being away & we did seem to struggle with ways to entertain him. It's actually put me off going away this year.

Also the thought of going abroad & taking a toddler on a plane makes me feel very anxious! Does anyone else find holidays with toddlers hard?

OP posts:
NotYoda · 14/06/2016 06:37

Yes they are very hard, and you feel more tired when you come back that before you went.

And I totally agree that you have to adjust your expectations

There's a reason so many people love Center Parcs (me included)

But life can't stop and you still have to do new things.

I look back with pleasure on those holidays - despite their difficulties

pearlylum · 14/06/2016 06:39

I wouldn't holiday abroad with very young ones to a hot place They are not used to the heat and skin too delicate.

Over the age of 4 we have had some brilliant beach holidays abroad.
NEVER self catering, must be all inclusive. I refuse to do any cooking/food shopping/washing up on holiday- it ceases to be a holiday then.

Artandco · 14/06/2016 06:40

Don't agree either. We have travelled with ours lots since weeks old. They travel well and adapt to any environment

I do think what you do day to day at home has an impact though. For example we knew we had to travel lots and have less space at home anyway: so ours as babies co slept, shared our room ( still do), and slept wherever we went in a sling. It meant when we travelled they were used to sleeping at 7pm in dark room alone so were happy to just fall asleep with us awake around them or outside.

Artandco · 14/06/2016 06:42

Pearl - how do you think babies world over survive? If you go to a hot country you just adapt. Ie baby outside in midday sun would be silly, but taking them for dinner at 10pm is normal

NotYoda · 14/06/2016 06:44

The ones where we went to visit in-laws abroad were, ironically, more stressful for me. I think I would have been far more relaxed just us in self-catering. The oldest (vv tantrum my) could have had all his tantrums without the added worry or judgment.

Best holidays - Cornwall, California (2 and 4 year old just before youngest went to school), Center Parcs

Take full advantage of travelling outside school holidays - the weather and the price. It's a freedom you miss

LostInMess · 14/06/2016 06:46

It's different. We have found that as the number of children increases and depending on ages, then you need to adapt. Spent ages dithering about whether or not to go away this year as DC4 will be the worst age to go away in terms of wanting to crawl everywhere (10 months) but felt it not fair on others so we're doing eurocamp in France - big water park so weather permitting will tire others out and DH and I should get a couple of hours together with a bottle of wine in the evening.

Only doing a week this year, though, plus the previous week in the UK with family - think 2 weeks in one place might be a bit much this year Smile.

isharewifinotsextoys · 14/06/2016 06:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stillwishihadabs · 14/06/2016 06:49

I think the more you do it the easier it is IYSWIM , I took ds to Spain at 2 months, skiing at 9 months and 11months, Spain again at 13 months, Italy at 18m as well as loads of camping in the UK. He was used to napping on a beach, in the travel cot etc. The only trip we didn't enjoy was when we got involved with DFIL and his wife, but made up for it the next year by taking them on a road trip to North Africa (aged 1&4). Travel is important to dh and I.

Chrisinthemorning · 14/06/2016 06:49

UV suits are the answer. All in one/ shorts t shirt/ flap hat set in UV fabric to play in the pool/ beach. Soltan do brilliant kids sun cream, I use the factor 50 once stuff and reapply at lunchtime. DS has never burnt and barely changed colour despite 3 weeks in Florida. We have normally been in May/ September though. He starts school in September which is going to make holidays more expensive and hotter. We'll still go though!

43percentburnt · 14/06/2016 06:50

We went abroad when ds was 11 months - it was great fun - we did go all inclusive - but walked into town, went on excursions etc. we chose a hotel with a great baby pool and restaurants which had long opening hours to give us flexibility.

We have also done a family friendly festival - so camped - again it was fun.

I echo a pp - it's not the same as a child free holiday - or a holiday with a 6/7 year old (we have a much older one). But if mum and dad both have fun and play/interact with DC then it's great.

If just one parent ends up as childcare, cook and maid then it sounds rubbish.

pearlylum · 14/06/2016 06:52

artandco- of course babies in hot countries thrive, but my babies come from Scotland and are comfortable at cooler temperatures.
I also enjoy doing things that many locals in hot countries don't- lying by the pool, sitting on the beach.
People in hot countries often cloister themselves away during the heat of the day, in their cool marble floored homes with shutters closed, and yes eat very late.

I don't want to go to a hot country to spend the day sitting inside. It's the sun and warmth I seek, sun on my and my childrens' skin.
I may as well stay at home if i have to spend my time abroad avoiding the heat. It's the reason I go.

clicknclack · 14/06/2016 06:52

We travelled a lot with ours, but like others said we did better on family type holidays where our evenings consisted of a bottle of wine in our self catering place and a quiet evening in a chair. We did much better renting houses or flats than hotel rooms when they were little and spending our days at the beach, the pool, a playground etc with small side trips for mum and dad. I remember one holiday in San Francisco (we live in California so it was a driving holiday, not a once in a lifetime thing) where we spent almost the entire week at the Exploratorium and saw hardly anything else because that is the only thing the kids wanted to do and it made for an easy and fun time (if a little repetitive)

With the flight we took it in turns to rest/sleep while the other entertained the kids. We packed a lot of tiny snacks instead of relying on meals and wrapped up a ton of small cheap toys and play dough and crayons and things so that they could open new food/toy/drink as soon as they got bored. We paid for seats for them and sat in the middle of the plane in the bulkhead if possible with parents on each aisle seat and kids in the middle so if they got out of their car seat they could get down on the floor but go no further.

We also did driving holidays with DVD screens. My BIL once asked if we had to have Mary Poppins playing on the car stereo (headphones weren't being tolerated for some reason that trip) for the 4th time. So we turned it off and DS asked him "why" questions for a good twenty minutes before he cracked and asked for Mary Poppins again.

ImogenTubbs · 14/06/2016 06:56

YABU. It's not relaxing, but it can be loads of fun. Self-catering is the way to go though, so you have your own space and can follow your own schedule. We went to a fabulous villa in Sicily last year with 2yo DD - out of season and booked last minute so we got it at a knock-down price and it was brilliant.

Can't imagine coping for a whole week or more in a hotel room though - that would be tough.

pearlylum · 14/06/2016 07:03

imogen= you can get the best of both worlds.

Although I will allways choose all inclusive ( we have tried villa self catering- far too much work), we choose a hotel that has villa style accommodation, So lots of space, we always do ground floor, so outside/guddling space so the kids can paint, wash shells etc. These places have verandah style seating outside, and sometimes even a kitchen.

I don't cook on holiday.

Artandco · 14/06/2016 07:25

Pearl - that's nothing to do with travelling with baby then, but your unrealistic expectations of being in a different climate. As an adult I wouldn't lie in midday sun without a child either. You can still enjoy being outside and the climate but in the shade/ earlier or later in the day etc

It's simply a case the more you go the easier it is I think. We travel every month at least. As babies mine flew with me to every work event abroad also so at some points were flying twice a week with them. It became normal.
Now primary age they find getting on a plane or boat and travel a few hours like getting on a bus to next town.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 14/06/2016 07:26

If it isn't working for you then don't worry and don't go. We did day trips with DD for a bit for that reason. I actually don't mind same shit, different place, as I like the different place (and beats same shit at home!)

Expectations are low for holidays and flexibility is key. We've had great holidays at PIL's static caravan. Beach, local wildlife park, playing at the caravan. We base everything on the weather and go for high energy activities where possible. Free accommodation so we haven't lost much if weather rubbish, or illness etc.

Best holiday was to Disneyland Paris with 5yo DD plus my family. She loved the Eurostar, we stayed in an onsite hotel which was geared towards kids. Of course we had to eat early, went on lots of smaller rides but my mum had her for a morning so we could do the adult rides. Mum went on the Peter Pan ride about 50 times in the 5 days, with DD! Not the place DH and I would go but so much to captivate DD.

We're off to CenterParcs this winter so really pleased there's lots of good experiences on here. Will be 7yo and 1yo plus our friends. Going to hire a cabana everyday!

OMGBabyNo3 · 14/06/2016 07:32

I love holidays and whilst they're different I love holidays with my children too. Now aged 10, 7 and 1 I have travelled extensively with them in the last few years and never not enjoyed it.

PacificDogwod · 14/06/2016 07:33

That Huffington Post link on the first page is SO true.

I am going on a 'trip' GrinGrin

Cannot wait!

I agree it's all about adjusting expectations. Even now when mine are no longer toddlers…..

WankersHacksandThieves · 14/06/2016 07:37

Pearly, I'm from Scotland too, uv suit and suncream. We took ours to Minorca in May at age 1 and 2 for their first abroad holiday. They loved it. Beach in the morning, nap on the beach or in buggy on a walk to the park. Parks are often in the shade so great for midday. Lunch then pool in the afternoon. Strip of the suit at dinner time for 15 minutes to top up on vitamin D, then either bathed and dinner and early to bed or quick nap then out to dinner and late to bed.

Maybe I just liked spending time with mine on holiday more as I worked full time. It just never seemed a chore. I still love spending time with my teens. I'm going to miss them when they no longer want to come.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 14/06/2016 07:38

I wouldn't say never fun but it's certainly more of a PITA than otherwise.
But now the little one is getting bigger, it's getting better.

However, I'm still not a massive fan of "holidays" that are basically home but somewhere else - so I still end up doing cooking, washing up, housework etc. - that's not a holiday for me.

It'll be a while before I get an actual holiday, I think!!

Heatherbell1978 · 14/06/2016 07:53

YABU. We went to Australia in March with our 18 mo for a month...no it wasn't relaxing but we never expected it would be so maybe you need to manage your expectations. We had a great time, lots of outdoor stuff for DS to get stuck into and fortunately for us he was great at napping on the go and slept fine. We're going to Corfu in a couple of weeks. Just choose your holidays carefully and make sure there is plenty to keep you all happy.

NotYoda · 14/06/2016 08:00

Artandco

You speak as if everyone has the obey you do to get all this travel into their lives

Many people don't

NotYoda · 14/06/2016 08:01

Sorry Artandco

You speak as if everyone has the money to travel by plane as you do

selsigfach · 14/06/2016 08:19

We took our 12-month-old to Asia recently. Really easy with a baby carrier and everyone loved him. He was taken off me for cuddles wherever we went and he had a great time. Breastfeeding and him not yet walking made everything really easy, might be trickier now a few months later as he's running around.

NattyTile · 14/06/2016 08:37

We've had lovely holidays, from just a few months old.

Are they the same as the child free city breaks with lazy breakfasts, long days sightseeing, and late night eating? No! But they're still huge fun.

We take toys, we take comfort items, we travel at a slower pace. From the age of 3 ish, holiday becomes defined (in our house) as an ice cream every day and chips quite a lot for lunch.

Sometimes we self cater - but if so that usually involves takeaways and lazy meals, or lunches in cafés and evenings grazing once they're in bed.

Other times we hotel it, but again we aim for big meals at lunch time, breaks up the day, increases the chances of post lunch naps, makes evenings quieter.

I always take weetabix or whatever the current breakfast fad is.

Ideally, we have a suite or a cottage or at least done means of separating living space and sleeping space. Don't mind sleeping in the same bedroom, do mind having to get into bed at 7pm!

We just take life slower. We stop at the local parks. We go and hunt out fountains with statues of little boys peeing, or find the little mermaid, or take lumps of cheddar with us to the local cheese tasting event so they've got what they want too.

It's a slower pace, and there's repetition built into it. We often go back to the same place year on year, so they know what to expect - finding the same walk to the lighthouse and making sure it's still there.

And we often go with friends. Good friends. The ones who have the sane parenting style, where we all know we can shout at any child who's about to push another child off a cliff. Where you have the same rules about vegetables and bedtimes, where the children can play with each other, and where you can crack open a really good bottle of wine once they're in bed, and take it in turns to do the early morning breakfast shift. Bit of a gamble the first time you go; I've other friends I love dearly but I'd never holiday with ever again. But when you find the right set, it's awesome.

One of the best baby/toddler holidays we do is camping with a large group. It's big enough that some people hang around the site all day, others go off on day trips, and no one is left out. Older children get squeezed into cars to go out, younger children get to go and feed ducks with whichever parent doesn't fancy the theme park, and there's always someone to herd a toddler or two when you really need to run to the loo but they'd rather be making daisy chains and mud pies. It's not easy, but it's great fun.