To resent bloody school and their insistence on educating my child?

[HoneyDragon]

I mean some of its annoyingly unecessary, right?

The little sods just wandered into the kitchen, nonchalantly picked up the tablet and typed in fifth harmony and now I'm stuck listening to Worth It

She's sounding out One Direction now and won't give up the IPad

I'm fairly certain when I went to primary school I was eating sand and struggling to put my tights on after PE interspersed with arguing over the gold crayon and plasticine.

Am I being unreasonable to despair of today's educational standards? Surely I can't be he only one with examples of children being unnecessarily educated?

DS has learned to spell stampy cat.

"Mum", said 5 year old DD3 the other day as she plonked herself on my lap while I was having a quick squizz at Facebook, " what does f-u-ck-i-t-y mean?". Her teacher got short shrift, I can tell you

Bloody unthinking teachers

Actually this teaching them to tell the time is a massive pisser too.

It's bedtime dear

Not for another 45 minutes Mum

I have fcuk glasses. My 4 year old insists on sounding out f-c-uck at every opportunity.

DD has been doing sex ed for a week:

"Muuum, if there were 3 men naked men in a changing room would you say you could see all the penises or the peni?"

Not at all awkward, no.

This is not a new problem. Years ago I found out my 3yo's fave film was Terminator and that he could programme the VCR.

Just you wait till they learn about recycling/global warming/the future of our planet. Try getting away with shoving empty wine bottles in the bin then.

"Muuum, if there were 3 men naked men in a changing room would you say you could see all the penises or the peni?"

They should teach the sex OR English. Not both, and certainly not at the same time. It leads to awkward questions in polite company.

You'll thank the school one day when you have no idea what the settings on your new phone mean, or how to connect the new wireless printer without bursting into tears.

Believe me, I know

I'm extremely impressed by the peni/penises question. It's never occurred to me before.

Mind, I'm not sure I've been confronted by multiples before. Well certainly not often. sheltered life

I feel your pain - dd1 wanted to watch My Little Pony but I could not face it so checked the planner and said "sorry dd, it's not on today ". Dd immediately responds with "then why does it say My Little Pony right there?" Bloody teachers teaching them to read!!

Dd said aged 8 (loudly in the supermarket to dh and I) that he had learned that 'vaginas were special places only women have. That means YOU have one'.

Dh had to go round the corner and cry with laughter. He was proper weeping for about an hour.

The penis problem. I had a discussion about this last week with one of my son's friends (they are 14) who asked the question.

I said that words ending in "us" such as Cactus, pluralled as Cacti.

As penis did not end in "us" then why would it change to peni? Or penii?

Words ending in "sis" change to "ses" in the plural (such as analysis/analyses) but again, this does not cover penis (as it were).

However, I understand it is correct as either penises or penes (which vaguely links to the "is" to "es" rule above ...

One direction, fifth harmony. Please not in the same sentence as education

Another one who's kid could spell Stampy before his own name....

I don't think it's the school's fault - he was thinking 3 steps ahead when it came to devices before he even started school

DS1: "Mum, do you know where you're going?"
Me "errr.. Yeeeess"
DS1:"Good, so I can have your phone then"

Sigh. Outwitted again.

exLtEveDallas

That's was so totally on purpose

I don't think this is a new phenomenon - I can remember a man coming to the house to collect the pools money from mt brother....he was 6! Apparently he had correctly filled out and posted the pools coupon! (I did check he hadn't won before telling the man he was a kid!)

I also discovered that DS3 was pretty good with tech when he was 3 and I turned on my amazon prime to see several series of Dora the Explorer on my watch list.....! And I ask DS2 (7yo) to set the computer up for his maths homework as I can't figure it out.

I was furious when my 5 year old announced "look, that sign says you CAN have birthday parties at the swimming pool!" when I'd been telling her it wasn't a possibility (because I certainly didn't want responsibility for 12 manic reception kids in water, or to appear before their parents in my aging Tesco's swimsuit).

Last Thursday trying to get out of the school gates with out ds3 noticing another bloody cake sale....so much for promoting healthy eating.....I said no it's not on today.cake sale is tomorrow ....he says so why does that poster say Thursday...today is Thursday mum mum mum mum mum

I was looking after a friend's 5 year old the other day at her place and her mother said to put on some my little pony for her on her phone. For some reason, the wifi was acting up, so I had to stop youtube and try to fix it, much to 5yo's dismay. I tried to explain that there was a problem with the Internet and I had to reconnect the wifi.

"Oh! It's disconnected!" She says. "Why didn't you just say so?" She then takes the phone off me and re - enters the wiki password before loading up youtube and successfully searching up the latest my little pony episode. With not a aingle spelling mistake in the search.

I'm supposed to be the tech savvy one in my friend group

School ruined my little cherubs. All of that time spent reading books when they should have been watching Power Rangers on the telly.

Somehow, despite everything, they managed to survive the process and went on to university where their poor heads were stuffed with a load more useless knowledge. What is the world coming to in my day we made do with a slide rule none of this computer this computer that nonsense I dunno young people these days grumble grumble grumble

Ooh, I googled and came up with penises (decided to take the question at face value before looking at her and seeing tears rolling down her face), now I can throw it back at her with penes

Thank you timetorethink!

Someone taught my child to spell s.h.i.t. It wasn't me.