You can be fat and fit!!!

[DiggerMum]

Basically this is more a rant about my sister constantly having to criticize or pull down any achievements. I have been working really hard at getting fit and losing weight, I started doing C25K and loved it so much I carried on and am now up to running 15k at the weekends and 7.5-10k three times per week. My whole approach to this was about getting healthier rather than anything else. I reckon working up to this level of running makes me relatively fit, however though I've lost over 2 stone my BMI is still 27 (though down from 32!) and I am still over weight.
I was talking with DM about how much I was enjoying feeling fitter and basically DSis's comment was 'you cannot be fit when you are still so fat - I am far fitter than you as I am not carrying all that excess weight'. Now apart from being damn rude, yes DSis is slim, but gets puffed out walking up the stairs! I didn't comment back but just felt so deflated... I've worked really hard to get here and I know I've a still a way to go but was really pleased with myself. I sort had in my head that I was making a huge achievement by getting fit, even if still a bit overweight, but by focusing on the fitness the weight was going as a consequence. I also know it is silly to feel so crushed by silly comments, I'm a grown woman for goodness sake, but my weight/ fitness has always been a massive issue for me and a bit of support would have been nice!

I agree with you. I need to lose weight, I know I do, and I'm trying to, although admittedly we're talking about being maybe a stone overweight, not ten stone overweight.

But my fitness levels are good, I can do some pretty hardcore exercise. I have some very slim friends who are very unfit.

Ideally I'd prefer to be slim AND fit though .

You're spot on, I have pcos and I'm overweight but I am bloody fit and definitely fitter than many thin people I know. Definitely suggest she goes running with you.

Oh and she's just jealous ignore her.

but by focusing on the fitness the weight was going as a consequence.

This is a very healthy way to do it.

You're right. She's wrong (and she's being a cow and I reckon she's probably a bit jealous that she can't run the length of herself).

You've done amazingly well!

Of course you can be fit and fat. My bmi is the same as yours and I ran a marathon a few months back in just over 4 hrs. Your dsis is rude and quite ignorant. (Now I really must get off my still fat arse and go for a run, I need to do 10 miles today.)

People assume all fat is visible. A relative of mine is really skinny but has been having treatment for fatty liver disease due to his love of takeaway food. He's been warned it's very serious and he must drastically changed his lifestyle. He's Not even 30yet

Your right because I regularly watch a show called 'obese a year to save my life' and the people are usually very overweight and after a couple of months the amount of exercise and running they can do I would not be able to manage even though the people are often about 8-10 stone heavier than me.

You are doing the right thing. I second inviting her on a run. For the record I have a bmi of 23 and I'm the most unfit person I know I have an obese friend that swims for an hour every day. I barely manage a length before needing to stop for a few minutes!

You have done very well with your weight loss and getting into the habit of exercising I think. Shame your sister can't understand that. Keep at it

You are doing amazingly - do not give up because your sister is rude cow.

That is such a healthy attitude- it should be about fitness and how exercise makes you feel rather than how it makes you look. This is where a lot of people are going wrong and why a gym in New York is covering the mirrors once a week because it should be about how you feel rather than for vanity.

Ouriana is quite right, invite her for a run.

People aren't always as supportive as you'd expect when you are losing weight.

I went from a size 20 to an 8 a number of years ago. Several exfriends were really quite annoyed about it. Openly annoyed.

More people than you'd think like having a fat friend.

More people than you'd think like being the 'pretty' one.

She is obviously insecure about your fantastic achievements. Try to ignore her.

Though I do think that when people are obese (not talking about you) and say 'oh you can be healthy and fat' I completely disagree.

Just ignore her.

Yy to some people love having a fat friend.

vulgar I do think being fit and being healthy can also be a different thing - i.e. I don't think I am currently as healthy as I could be as I do carry excess fat, but I do think I am fit. Similarly when people are very slim they can equally be very unhealthy through diet and lifestyle choices. I agree being obese and being healthy doesn't really go hand in hand but I certainly don't think it is all black and white. As part of this I've been reading so much about food, diet, healthy choices, lifestyle choices and found it utterly fascinating about what we put in our bodies!

Thanks all; wow Raasay have to say luckily this is the only negativity I've had! Welldone on your achievements!

Yes to the being fit and being healthy being different things.

My sister weighs about 6stonemore than me and is obese however she is much fitter than me. She walks for miles rides her bike, walks her dog whereas j jump in the car.

Thanks Digger I do look quite significantly different thin (people have walked passed me in the street different) so perhaps the transformation was just a bit too radical.

You are quite right to focus on health and fitness - keep going, it's worth it.

I take my hat off to you. I couldn't run 5k to save my life (can walk miles though!) and my BMI is under 19. Being thin does not equal fit.

Don't invite her for a 'run-off', because that's giving credence to her silly words, that really should be ignored.

You're not doing this for her or anyone else, you're doing it for you.

So just continue with what you're doing, instead of getting into some sort of competition about it.

I came on to say the same as Raasay
She's used to you being her fat sister and isn't happy that you're getting thinner!

Totally agree with you, being slim doesn't equal being healthy or fit! I'm relatively slim with a bit of muscle but I am not really that fit or healthy at the moment! At my fittest/healthiest (walking 10 miles most weekends, climbing and walking during the week) my BMI was 25, my lowest BMI as an adult has been 20 and I was really ill during that time period.

BMI is also a bad indicator really, it doesn't factor in muscle which is quite heavy! The only reason I knew my BMI when I was healthy was because my gym kept track of that and my muscle/fat percentages. I haven't had working scales in years

My Mum is quite fit for a 50-odd year old, she's a kayaker and does whitewater paddling, which you need to be fit for. In the 10+ years she's been doing it she's always had a belly, never been below a size 14! At the moment she goes to 3+ gym classes a week, paddles at the weekends and coaches paddlesports one day a week too, still a size 14, not sure why really. DH is the same, at his fittest (when training for the RAF) he still had a bit of podge but he could run forever.

I used to be very naive as a naturally tiny person, then i met my 20 stone partner and i realised that despite my perfect bmi and build he is far far far fitter than i have ever been!

I was recently at education event for work (medical stuff). It was all about health & exercise. The guy speaking was saying that if you are slim but unfit you will have visceral fat around your organs which puts you at risk of a whole host of health problems. The best way to get rid of this is exercise. The current evidence suggests it is healthier to be overweight but active than slim & inactive.

A bmi of 27 in someone who runs like you do is not remotely concerning health wise.

Carrying a few extra pounds while maintaining a healthy lifestyle with good excercise and eating is absolutely no problem whatsoever. Being thin and so unfit you're unable to go upstairs doesn't mean she's healthier. You'd need a lab, asceticism testing etc to determine someone's actual fitness levels.,

Bmi is a pretty crude measurement - especially if you're on the shorter side but not sparrow-built, or very tall, or very muscular. When I was a size 6-8 my bmi was still 24. I'm just dense.

When I read your title I thought it was going to be 'my bmi is 40 but I swim once a week and I'm fine.' In that case there is an issue - it will catch up with you eventually. But how you are now is fine. Technically overweight by a small amount but meh - really not an issue. Keep up the running and focus on fitnes rather than trying to lose weight per se.

I'd say her attitude reflects more on her own insecurities

That's amazing OP- I've never been able to stick at running to get to that level of distance, would love to be able to do what you're doing

Totally agree, you can be fit at a whole range of weights, they aren't mutually exclusive. Your DSis is likely feeling self-conscious about her own level of fitness (and is clearly not very well informed!).

It's not silly to feel crushed by those sort of comments- you've worked hard and someone devalued it.

If she does it again, you could always mention that you're much likely to be successful in the long run if you feel positive about yourself and your achievements and politely ask her to refrain from commenting if she doesn't have anything nice to say.