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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

wibu to stab not so DP with a rusty fork...

40 replies

Rubixx · 11/06/2016 08:06

For telling me he is "experiencing a pregnancy and wouldn't care to go through it again"?

Fuck right off. You're not the one that's knackered ALL the time. You are not the one who's previous back injury has flared up to the point that you're in a constant fluctuating state of discomfort/pain. You are not the one who's body is changing, breasts are sore, feels sick, has hormones raging about and seemingly a million other things.

He is watching a pregnancy he is NOT experiencing it.

OP posts:

Original poster

Rubixx · 11/06/2016 14:43

Thank you ladies. I'm glad I have you backing!

My defence in court will obviously be "mumsnet agreed" unless I have a female judge who has had children... I don't think a defence would be needed

OP posts:

coco1810 · 11/06/2016 15:59

Holy shit, forget the rusty fork go for the nutcrackers! YANBU and I doubt a jury anywhere would convict! . Have some x

YouTheCat · 11/06/2016 16:47

A bloke at work was worried because his wife was a week overdue and seemed she was going to have to be induced.

I advised him that no matter how tired he was during the labour, he wasn't to mention it because it would be 10x worse for his wife. I'm hoping he took my, kindly meant, words on board.

The anaesthetist couldn't get the needle in my back for the epidural when I was having a c section. Exh said it was terrible for him, watching that. My heart bled for him.

MyAmDeryCross · 11/06/2016 16:55

Perfectly reasonable. May I also suggest a rusty carving knife to chop his bollocks off.

SnakeWitch · 11/06/2016 17:07

Aww, have a heart OP and make the poor lamb a nice cup of tea or something Seriously, I think you did well not to slam his head in the nearest door. Tell him he needs to shut up and bring you lots of ice cream and cool drinks!

WombOfOnesOwn · 11/06/2016 17:29

YoutheCat, that happened with my anesthetist, too, repeatedly (it took four separate jabs for my epidural, even the nurses were glaring daggers into him by the end). I feel for you!!!! Would not have wished it on my worst enemy.

Very glad, reading these responses, that DH knows better than to say such insensitive things. A few of these I think would be LTB-worthy!

VimFuego101 · 11/06/2016 17:37

YANBU. Fork him in the testicles.

Energumene · 11/06/2016 17:46

We'd had induction booked for 8am, only for my waters to go at 1am - with meconium in. From 2am when we got to hospital, to around 10.30am when the anaesthetist came to do an epidural, he snored in the armchair in the room.

I have a retroverted cervix that needed to move round as painfully as possible and got wasted on gas and air, all the while trying to block out the fear after the usually very anti epidural midwife had recommended I have precisely that, with the rage building up with each snore. No hand holding, no back rub, no help with breathing. Let alone the reassurance it'd be OK even if we had to have an emergency C section. The bastard was completely oblivious.

By the time my mother arrived to give the poor dear a break, he still maintained he was tired and was going to nip out to the relatives room for a rest. To this day I'm glad there were no sharp implements to hand for my mother to reach. She loves my DH, but the look on her face was priceless

YANBU. Stab away.

ktt512 · 11/06/2016 18:45

I completely feel for you! My OH saw me having a 5 minute lie down yesterday before attempting to eat some dinner and got an incredulous 'are you still ill?!' - no you tit, I haven't been ill since January 2015, i'm pregnant.

He took me for lunch today (my current worst nightmare) and having nearly thrown up all over the table due to an unfortunate choice in salad dressing, he sighed and said 'well if you're just going to waste that sandwich I better eat it.' - because I LOVE not being able to eat my favourite food.

I'm all for stabbing, I'm getting close myself haha

Littleelffriend · 11/06/2016 20:13

Stab stab stab

liquidrevolution · 11/06/2016 21:01

Stab away.

Another useless DH during Labour here. I actually have a picture the midwife took of him asleep on the birthing beanbag when I was on the 34th hour of induction most of which he missed as he wanted a good night's sleep and got taken out to dinner by PILs. He then called DM to come to the hospital as he was hungry and proceeded to get a takeaway curry from the hospital cage. I hate curry smells as it always makes me vomit. So I was vomting and contracting at the same time. Worse still is i had packed a bag of food for him including a micro meal but he wanted to visit the cafe as he 'hadnt sampled the food there' .

After DD was born at 1am by CS i was left alone with her till 2.30pm the next day as his parents took him out for a celebration lunch . During this time DD was taken to icu for four hours due to low bloods and I was all alone on a ward with happy mum's and dads. She arrived back just before her hopeless father arrived to visit.

Pickaxe followed by shovel. It's the only way.

Apologies for essay, have been holding it in for a while

InionEile · 11/06/2016 21:09

Reminds me of when I was 8 months pregnant with DC2 and DH tried to say that the root canal he had was 'nearly as bad as childbirth'. Um...no. Not even fucking close. I had one done myself last month and it was a piece of cake compared to labor with my 2 DC! If I had had a pitchfork at the time, he would have got it full force....

Ironically I came on MN to vent and was told I WBU

Original poster

Rubixx · 12/06/2016 09:29

Some of these stories make me angry for you. I won't go into my labour with my first. My ex was worse than useless including rocking up the day we were due to go home so hungover I could smell the alcohol sitting a couple of feet away and pretty much emptying my bank account while in hospital.

At least DP isn't a knob like ExH. Just a bit thoughtless with some comments sometimes.

OP posts:

FuckingMother · 12/06/2016 23:30

Are you shitting us? He is experiencing pregnancy and doesn't want to go through it again?

Well, fair enough. As he is the first biological man to gestate a baby maybe you should do it next time?

Hang on, I've got that wrong haven't I?

I remember DH telling me he had PND after the birth of DC2 which made me want to fucking kill him and I hated him for awhile. TBF he was depressed. DC was very ill and cried nonstop for 4 months and it took many weeks to find out why. However, I was much worse with PND, he had chosen to withdraw from family life (and chores) and from baby and me, and talked about leaving as he found life a druggery so I was doing everything. It genuinely took me a couple of years to get over his fuckwittery.

Good luck with your pregnancy. Buy him a roomba or something to help him with his pregnancy. Oh, and shove some deep heat up his arise to mimic haemorrhoids!

FuckingMother · 12/06/2016 23:32

Oh, oh, oh...have just remembered! In labour with DC1 after 14 hrs active labour. Poor love had to get a sandwich and have a little rest in the fucking bean bag as he was weary. I bit his hand during the pushing stage. I couldn't really stop myself, just thought it would be good distraction from pain.

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