To think fake grass is not tacky

[Dizzydodo]

At the Doctors with dd about eczema, GP says it can be triggered by pollen, grass seed etc and asks if she's been in the garden a lot with the nice weather. I say 'yes but we've got fake grass'. GP rolls his eyes, laughs and says 'fake grass?! Like Wayne Rooney? Goodness me!'

I have no idea if Wayne Rooney has fake grass or not and I'm not in the least bit offended by the GP (I think he was trying to be funny) but it got me thinking....does fake grass in my garden make me a wannabe WAG?

Our fake grass garden is on a garden which couldn't be grass anyway. It's owned by the railway as we back onto a station and the whole side of the streets gardens are concreted. My parents will be astroturfing about 15% of their garden as the rest is trees, flower beds, a veg patch and small orchard. Not including the natural front garden.

I have a large ramshackle old shed made entirely from old window panes, doors, and various scraps of wood. It really is every bit as beautiful as it sounds. It does not have a concrete base, it doesn't really need one as we are one a huge seam of granite called the Great Flat Load. I will be ripping it down.... eventually. I also have an old barn/dairy shed, it has no concrete foundations but does have a poured concrete floor which I think has been there for at least 60 years. However, I don't think a concrete base on your average garden shed is comparable to covering your average garden lawn with plastic.

Ignore is your asthma the main reason for you having a fake lawn?

I'd want to know what the artificial grass is made of? I'm in the USA and we have concerns over the safety of artificial turf.

www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-artificial-turf-debate-20160229-story.html

Some of it is made from things like nylon or polypropylene, but some is made from recycled plastics/rubber too. It depends on its application, I think.

No mum it was down to mainly lazness. My garden was shit tip and I couldn't keep on top of it as lone parent with young baby at time.

My dad done it as a surprise plus he knew after I cut his garden once the next day I woke up face swollen hardly able to breath.

The soil is not good for growing grass same as for neighbours

I really don't mind people thinking it's tacky I love being able to go out there now as one summer I couldn't even bring myself to open back door I would of quite happily concrete over it.

I did pay a Gardner once cost about £80 and even he said no grass will grow, just weeds

Well Ignore at least you're honest.

One of my mums neighbours has fake grass (although you'd have to be rally close to tell to be honest)

And I have seen her out with the vacuum on it. lol

Maybe this is another example of London being at odds with the rest of the country, because here, artificial laws are something you find in 'smart' areas.

When houses are for sale, it is listed as a selling point alongside a Poggen Pohl kitchen and Carrara marble - "low maintenance garden landscaped with Easigrass"

'Carrara marble worktops, bespoke hand built kitchen, low maintenance wipe clean garden'. No thanks, London can keep it!

I wouldn't call this house tacky
or this one!

Exactly clarrp how can hoovering your grass be considered good for lazy people! It'll be plastic trees and shrubs next. Oh wait didn't a poster upthread mention that someone has them in their garden?

The huge plastic 'island' in the ocean has to be maintained doesn't it?

I don't like fake grass. It looks tacky and I don't like the way it feels when you walk barefoot over fake grass .

However, Your GP is an utter snob to make that comment and needs to work on her professional communication skills.

sparechange I only looked at the first one. It's not my cup of darjeeling, that's for sure. Having a plastic lawn is, IMO, the height of tack. It doesn't necessarily follow that the whole house is tacky.

It doesn't necessarily follow that the whole house is tacky.

I'm not so sure The fake grass people also seem have a fondness for elaborate garden ornaments. So I'd strongly suspect the house decor followed along similar lines. e.g. feature walls, twigs in vases (fake of course), 'inspirational' motto signs plastered everywhere. That sort of thing.

Sparechange those houses are magnificent, and most definitely not tacky. I'm a big fan of my easigrass

MumOnA Your garden sounds a lot like mine. I use ivy as ground cover but tbh I don't mind 'weeds' the insects enjoy them. I have never used weed killer I just pull up the worst plant smotherers twice a year and use plants, herbs etc. with presence that are still noticeable through the ivy!

It's in France and the locals need educating about 'les jardins Anglaise' they love their straight lines and weed free borders, oddly they don't have the plastic grass but it's only a matter of time and cost .

We had ground elder which we could have got rid of with glyphosphate or a membrane - we did not want to spend two yeas with a black plastic sheet over the lawn, we live in London and our garden is very small, so it made sense.

We went for the expensive stuff it is soft and feels like normal grass and has brown bits in it. It is brilliant and we have more bees and insects in our garden than ever before as we've invested heavily in the borders - it's a small scale english cottage style garden.

cornish

The height of tack? C'mon - above big metal letters spelling out 'bath' or 'eat' or 'love'?
Or patterned wallpaper on a chimney breast? Or coloured feature walls? Or WAGish kitchens with fake Doric pillars around a range?

I'm afraid I just can't equate something almost universally found in stunning interior-designed houses in some of the most beautiful roads in London with being cheap and tasteless

above big metal letters spelling out 'bath' or 'eat' or 'love'?
Or patterned wallpaper on a chimney breast? Or coloured feature walls? Or WAGish kitchens with fake Doric pillars around a range?

WAY above all of those. Those are misdemeanours, fake grass is a crime.

The first house linked to is a bit tacky/blingy for my taste. Mirrored walls? Tut tut.

The Fulham house is gorgeous and I'd be very happy living there thank you very much but the fake grass would get the heave-ho on day 1.

I don't know about tacky for me it just screams 'fucking idiot who thinks a tidy lawn is more important than than their dying planet'. But then I work in conservation and I'm a miserable old cow.

YABU, and it's slippery when you run on it.

sorry english But some of the most beautiful roads in London are effing disgraceful. Now there are residents who could set good example but they out naff naff IMO

Holes You're not miserable you are RIGHT

it just screams 'fucking idiot who thinks a tidy lawn is more important than than their dying planet'.

What does a driveway scream to you?

It is weird that no one who paves over a garden to have somewhere to park their car doesn't get any of these 'wildlife murderer' or 'tacky and lazy' accusations.
But someone who turns a shaded bog into somewhere for their kids to play does.

Are convenient spaces for cars more important than convenient spaces for children?