AIBU to expect Estate Agent to disclose history of house we are buying?

[deltacogal]

Found the house of our dreams and had the offer accepted but after a bit of googling we found out via online news articles that the husband committed suicide in the house last year.

AIBU to think that this is the sort of info it would have been nice to know before putting in the offer? I'm a bit woo woo about this stuff as are my kids.

Was under the impression this kind of stuff would have been disclosed?

Read it again. She did not compare. You are wilfully misreading her post. Not sure why.

I really don't think that was what was being said either, Rubbish, I'm very sorry for your loss

Read it again newes. And note where the "or" examples end and the "to" begins. You are wilfully misreading her post. Not sure why.

Maybe I dislike a maudlin Pile In, Loopsy

It's ridiculous that one post can be picked up on and picked apart like that, when the distinction between natural and violent deaths is made clear, without comparing someone who commits suicide with a notorious serial killer. The comparisons have been bolted on very clumsily later.

Bucking may not have meant to be offensive but I took it as very rude and I have no personal experience of suicide and no agenda.

If all Bucking wanted to do was compare a recent death to a historic one then why bring in the suicide and rent boys? The blasé description of suicide didn't help either.

to everyone with tragic stories

OP really don't worry. The house will feel like yours as soon as you're in, and when you come to sell it will be a non issue. Sure house is very lovely.

I agree newes. However I also dislike an unwilling to be decent after upsetting another poster. We've all written or said half baked ideas at times and mostly it doesn't matter a jot. But this time it did. Yet buckin thinks she is the one being bullied

Well, there you go. I have no vested interest either and I saw no offence in Bucking's post whatsoever. so not as innately and deliberately heinous as some are trying to make out after all. Phew.

Your reading is different to theirs though Newes. Supposedly it was to compare historic deaths with recent ones, not violent with non-violent (not sure about putting suicide into those categories anyway).

Oh give over, Loopy, no one is being bullied. Bucking has had her post picked apart, others have zoomed in on a thread about suicide to take umbrage for some reason. Slow night on MN? Further counselling needed? Who knows.

Exactly, fastday. My reading is different. Not right, different. As is their reading. Not right, different.

I'm ok for counselling thanks!

The post upset people, that was explained and Bucking didn't back down. It was thoughtless but people put stuff on MN without thinking all the time. Just best not to keep on your offensive path once it's been pointed out.

Sorry the "their" in my post was Bucking. Your reading is right if it's different to the person who wrote it is it?

newes um, I think there's been crossed wires there. That's what I was saying - that no-one is being bullied or thinks they are being bullied except for buckin.

Read 21.04

fastday well said

But don't let that get in the way of a jolly good self righteous Froth.

Fuck off. Seriously. You nasty, nasty person. It has been said several times on this thread that people have had to deal with suicide, yet you refer to that as a *self righteous froth?!

Get to fuck.

Seriously. What is self righteous about having a family member or friend take their own life and being affected by it?

Here we are ladies and gentlemen, AIBU at it's absolute rock bottom.

So sorry for the posters who have had to deal with a loved one taking their own lives. I hope that you can all find some comfort from knowing that they are at peace now.

My great uncle and both grandparents died in the house I am now sitting in, and I feel just love in this house.

*I agree that the comparisons were bolted on very clumsily

That's actually made me genuinely happy Carrie

I think that one reason people are upset is because there is still, sadly, a lot of stigma around suicide . So people are very sensitive to anything that seems to blame the person who has died or to compare their death to those of a criminal.

Most people who die through Suicide are mentally ill - they are victims of an illness, no different from those who die from heart disease or cancer .

Also the distinction that someone made upthread, between " natural " and "unnatural " death can also be upsetting and I'm not really sure how it's helpful .

Those who have been bereaved by suicide have enough to deal with , without the suggestion that the have some legal or moral right to disclose their family grief to strangers who happen to buy their house.

People are upset because certain posters have acted like utter twats. But yes, you're right in what you said kr1stina.

The ongoing stigma is why MH first aid training (amongst others), now makes the point of separating the suicide from the fact it used to be a crime by changing the wording to say someone has completed suicide rather than committed suicide. It feels rather clunky to say at present, but hopefully it'll start to be used more and maybe help to remove a bit more of the stigma.
Sorry for slight tangent

If someone committed suicide there, I'd just make sure it was professionally cleaned and decontaminated before buying. Suicides tend to be messy, and you don't want any lingering bacteria.

It wouldn't be an unreasonable decision to withdraw your offer after hearing that if it makes you uncomfortable. You want to be comfortable in the home you're living in.

But realtors aren't obligated to disclose anything not directly related to the physical house structure. Even then, it's good to get your own tests done on things like mold, water test, meth residue, and how the septic tank is doing if they haven't done it already. Once the house is yours they're off the hook more than you are.

Think of the films that wouldn't have been made if that was the case! ThecAmityville Horror, Poltergeist ....

Oh dear god. I just read the rest of the thread. For some reason my phone hasn't loaded the last page. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone. I was just trying to lighten the mood.

backs away quietly with foot in mouth