to be annoyed by my 'friend'

[rockchick78]

To avoid drip feeding this will be a long one!

I have a friend (we'll call him Dave!) I have taken in as a lodger. Dave shared a house with a friend of his but he moved out of the house to be with his gf who had fallen pregnant. This left Dave financially unable to keep the house up alone, then he lost his job.

I have a 3 bedroomed house, and another lodger who works nights. I offered Dave the room if he could afford the rent (bills all included). He filled in all the necessary forms to claim unemployment benefit and housing benefit. He paid a month up front (that his dad wrote a cheque for) and his rent is due mid month. Last month he was £70 short and next week his rent is due again.

Now, I understand he is struggling and I understand this... But this is impacting on my financial situation and I can't afford to keep him.

The biggest thing is he's afforded a weekend away to a big city nearby, walks in with bags after shopping in town (smell my new aftershave, look at my new top...) and I'm really starting to think he's taking the utter piss. I'm not being UR am I?

Blimey, give some people an inch and they'll take a yard. It'll be a difficult conversation but you've got to tell him to go. Tell him that you can't afford to let the room to him anymore as he's behind with the rent and is obviously taking the proverbial because of his expenditure on other things. Be firm. Don't listen to excuses - there aren't any.
As for spoiling your friendship I think he's already done that by his behaviour - he's obviously a free-loader and isn't worth hanging on to. Give him time to find somewhere else but be firm. Good luck.

How were you managing before if you're struggling even with his extra money?

That's not really relevant winds. The OP could be sleeping each night in a bed stuffed with 50 pound notes and Dave would still be a piss taking freeloader.

No 'sitting him down' or 'explaining'. This is what I do with my 10-year-old. This man is an adult. He knows damn well what he's doing.

You tell him: 'This isn't working out. You can't live here rent free. I need the entire balance I'm owed or you need to move out by the end of next week.'

Of course YANBU. Tell him to sling his hook, but settle up the rent owing first. You need a lodger who can pay with no problems . If he really is a
friend, he'll understand that.

I don't doubt it Barbara I just couldn't work out whether OP had asked her other lodger to leave or whether this was extra money, in which case I didn't understand how it was impacting on her financial situation.

Hi Winds, maybe struggling was a little OTT but obviously there's extra electric and water rates have gone up etc.... Why should I pay the extra in return for no rent money?