Is it normal to feel like this

[Dogsandcats123]

I'm not sure how to put this, but I'm feeling quite confused although it shouldn't be a big deal...There are much larger problems in the world.
Firstly, to clarify, I'm a sixth form student.
Basically, my dilemma is that I've always wanted to do a really competitive course (think medicine) and my GCSEs indicated I could do it. My school isn't used to capable people and pushed me into 6 AS levels and I've really struggled this year. Royally fucked up, in fact.
Only 2 count next year which are the 2 I'm dropping (maths and Spanish) but I'm now worried that means I'll have to declare my worst grades for the rest of my life. Anyway... I've recently been accepted to 2 summer school type things, one of which I got the only scholarship from everyone who applied to the UK (Summer School is held in another part of the world) and this has made my school erupt with joy. In in their newspaper on their website, all sorts but I can't help feeling that it's a little bit arrogant of them. When I applied I filled in the huge personal statement type form and they told me I shouldn't have done it without the assistance of our diabolical 'futures adviser' and that I'd never get it by myself. I was very happy but now I feel just overwhelming pressure to be accepted into university. After my AS grades I probably won't make it and I can feel the watching eyes of the whole school on me now. I'm their first ever applicant to this type of course. Sorry it was very very long and my typing is terrible.
AIBU to feel pressure over this and does it show I'm not suited to this type of course?
Please be nice!

Pressuring you into doing 6 AS levels is madness. I went to a private and very strong academic school and was pushed into five. I got good results but trying to carry that into A Levels final year was horrendous. I was so ill that I missed half of my final exams and didn't get any grades.

I hated going to sixth form, to be honest. I ended up repeating and doing distance learning courses to get my grades a year later. I still managed to get a law degree though (albeit I was 22 when I started).

I'd be tempted to move and repeat your AS year at another college, doing no more than four or five. It'll give you your confidence back.

Well done on what you have achieved so far and your ambition. Your schools sounds horrendous and very unhelpful: Even the brightest students at my uni-factory sixth form only did a fourth/fifth subject if it was further maths or mother tongue language.

Do you have an independent sixth form you could go to? They will have so many students all striving for uni you should get great support.

If the summer schools are still relevant to what you want to do I would go - even if only ultimately for travel, tips and friends!

Oh I sympathise, that awful conveyor belt feeling! I even wrote a comedy sketch about it for the school revue ( the happy cabbage vs the poor sweating 'star pupil). I just HAD to do a year out or I'd have popped - and it wasn't anything like so normal back then, but i found a semi relevant job, learned a lot, and squeezed in a bit of volunteering too

One thing you could do perhaps is to go to a uni open day or two (next month or September) or possibly just email a uni department where they teach the course you are aiming for, explain the situation and your concerns about the teaching you are getting, and ask their advice. Or even just look on their websites? My son wants to study engineering, and Cambridge uni for example has good suggested resources for would-be applicants, certainly in that subject.

Also you might get a sense of which unis would be most intelligent about offering you a place based on your obvious aptitude and commitment, and also you could find out their views and suggestions about years out.

Don't despair, you are clearly motivated and able and that will carry you through, and you are absolutely entitled to follow your own path. In a few months you'll legally be an adult, too!

Try a bit of deep breathing too. There are some wonderful guided meditaion podcasts/youtube links.and exercise helps as well.

Good luck and very well done on the summer school.

Thank you everyone!
I had only ever considered a gap year due to feeling like I'd fail. If I get the grades, I want to go straight away. I seriously do get the feeling that I've found my calling, as cliche as I know it is.

This is definitely what I want to do but I don't want all the 'publicity'. Yeah, sure, tell everyone after I get the grades next year but not now, I might not even get an interview...

The head of sixth form is brilliant and would do anything for us, and she does. BUT she can't overrule the head when it comes to teachers.

I'm also thinking of applying to a course with a foundation year and therefore lower grades because once I'm there, I'm there and I genuinely believe I'll be able to do it then.

However, I'm in touch with students doing my course at my chosen 4 and one of them said they wished they'd taken a gap year and grown up!
They did also say they don't know anyone who got the summer school (I got 2!) and didn't get a place, other than due to grades.

In no particular order:

Any chance of a scholarship to your friend's school? Is it the same as the local private school that y13 are going to for lessons.

Are there any books at the county library you could borrow? Or eBay? At a level you need to be sorting yourself out to a certain extent.

Don't panic. I know that repeating a year seems catastrophic but really in the greater scheme of things it is no big deal. So really think about this option.

Focus on the people who know what they're talking about. The ones who had you on placement. The chances are you'll meet great people on your summer school thing, and maybe the tutors there can help talk you through a few things. It doesn't sound as if your parents really get what you're going through, so don't look to them for anything more than tea and sympathy.

If a whole year group failed it doesn't reflect well on the teacher.

Can you record lessons on your mobile phone to play back to school? Although they sound a bit ridiculous actually so probably not worth the hassle. Not allowed to apply for something by yourself? Remember that they are not the boss of you.

Gap years can be good. Would your placement take you on for a year?

I really feel for you. Big pressure, and no support. Frankly that is a recipe for mental health disaster.

You sound exactly like what was normal for me at your age. I panicked constantly and had no self-believe. Eventually, I got straight As and accepted to do the course I desperately wanted to do. Your worries about feeling the pressure so much will probably be what will push you to be successful, not something that makes you unsuited to it.

Good luck and have faith in yourself.

Thank you!
The school is ridiculously expensive and I'm quite average in the grade department (4A*s at GCSE and the rest As. Very respectable and will let me go places but not mind blowing therefore they wouldn't be interested.)
I already get 16-19 bursary and I use the money for revision guides and course specific books but I'm now thinking about using it for a tutor and topping it up with some of my savings that I saved when I had time to work!!

I think I got the scholarship because I have around 3 months work experience and I have written every little thing down that I've learned. I have it all filed A-Z and I documented all feelings (They are caring role placements so for example working in a care home (trying not to give too much away Incase my school sees this. They've already hunted out my social media and tag and mention me in all sorts) and witnessing a death) which means I have examples to back up all my points so when writing a personal statement I can include all the important bits.

I have also noticed that I've started comfort eating. During half term etc, I lose weight and during term time I pile it on :( From 8 stone 3, I am now 10 stone 4.

I've explained in a mature way what the problem is but they said I should just pay for a tutor. I can't afford one :/

Have you talked to your parents about this, or your head of year? If there is an issue this needs to be dealt with.

I want to say not to panic about your exams, but you said you wanted to do medicine and I know that the majority of universities specify that medical students have sat all their A levels in the same year, so I can understand the pressure to get the result you need because you wouldn't be able to resit one subject and still meet the requirements.

What I will say is take every advantage to learn that you can - if your friend from the other school is happy to share her resources with you then go for it - nothing illegal about a friend helping another friend study and sharing what they know.

But definitely talk to your parents about it and explain the situation and take it to your head of year. Does your school have a careers teacher / office? I would also go and talk to them too.

My parents have said they may have to just splash out for a tutor. They didn't go to university themselves but I am the last of 4 to go so my mother does understand to some extent.
The only problem is that my siblings are much older and my parents are retired so can't help out financially like they did for the others.

One of my siblings (closest in age to me) is also a HCP

Also this probably made it worse but.. I always stayed at school until 6/6.30 (everyone else finishes at 3.15) because they taught me all the optional maths modules e.g stats, decision, mechanics so I could pick my stronger topic. Normal schools only do the 3 topics as far as I know.

I think I want to still apply to uni this year, including a foundation degree as the person who deals with UCAS is lovely but I'm going to drop down to 3 A levels and not be pushed into anything that won't benefit me.

Blimey, I'd change my social media privacy settings if I were you! No wonder you feel pressured . I wouldn't be happy about that (the tagging) at all

My privacy settings on Facebook etc are good but my Twitter isn't a private account so anyone can see it (which I don't think is a bad thing- I do a lot of advocating xyz which I've heard unis love to see) .

But school uses the opportunity to do things such as "We've managed to get @Dogs onto a summer school.. massive success for xxx sixth form."

I think I want to still apply to uni this year, including a foundation degree as the person who deals with UCAS is lovely but I'm going to drop down to 3 A levels and not be pushed into anything that won't benefit me.

That sound like a workable plan.
If you got into the Summer School with a full scholarship then its likely you have been noticed by people further along the line. Dont quit now.
Go find the most relevant tutor at the university and ask their advice. Get your face seen there.
Best of luck.

Talk to your parents and see if there is an option to move somewhere that you feel supported with your subject choices, even if that means restarting 6th form studies. If they are not willing to do this then focus on what you can get done, put behind you subjects and marks that are not relevant to your choices moving on. Focus on what you can do from here and know that even if you don't get the subject grades you need here there are always further chances to do these after school. Look at what the university course entry requirements are both academically and also if work experience is an advantage - it can be for some very competitive courses.

So, I am reading this and perhaps making an incorrect assumption that you might not be looking specifically at medicine - perhaps veterinary? Inbox me if this is the case if you want to chat more, I am a vet. I recognise a lot of my own stress from that age in your posts.

Is it worth resitting year 12 when the exams this year don't count towards A2?

Only resit that which is relevant to the entry requirement of the uni course you want to follow. Focus on those areas that you need for certain. Better to get a few high grades and meet the requirements than get a wide range of passes but not enough for the course.

The new A levels require you to resit AS exams next year unless you drop the subject.
Therefore I think I might just continue and complete year 13 at the normal time.

I've spoken to my parents again and I think I'm just going to have to find a tutor. I'm trying to do chemistry homework and I don't recognise any of it from lessons.
The teacher will ask for the homework tomorrow (a massive booklet) and I won't have finished it and I'll explain what I don't understand and then they'll blame the class. I don't need this.. Especially since I still have exams :/

Sounds like a plan. Good luck x

It's so totally completely normal. A levels are the hardest ones- I've been to uni twice and none of that was as hard as A levels! Hang on in there.
Have a gap year. It's brilliant. There are loads of companies you can work for that cry out for seasonal employees- perfect for a Gap Year. I went to PGL when you were a baby I am alarmed to realise and worked Aug-October, then sorted my uni applications and got a bar job for the winter and went back again March-Sept and then went to university.
Truly, you've plenty of time. There are a million options in front of you, you just can't see them right now.
And well done you for the scholarship!