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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What to do if your mugged, AIBU to think this advice is crap

57 replies

Janefromdowntheroad · 08/06/2016 21:55

DD had a safety event thing with local police yesterday.

They asked them what they would do if they were mugged (give them phone/wallet).

Police officer said no, you should throw the phone down the path or road away from the mugger Hmm

Now if I'm desperate for cash and mug some poor kid I'm not going to be happy if he/she then lobs the phone down the road and breaks it!

AIBU? It seems like bad advice!

OP posts:
Queenbean · 08/06/2016 22:24

Apparently you should carry an umbrella or something else that could be used as a weapon - if it's a random attack muggers don't like to target someone who could fight back.

clarrrp · 08/06/2016 22:30

AIBU? It seems like bad advice!

It's the best advice. A mugger will generally be more interested in your wallet or your phone than they are with you.

ladygoingGaga · 08/06/2016 22:30

Muggers are desperate and generally looking for weak targets, they don't want to get caught and want to get away as much as the victim does.

The advice is right, dropping items onto the floor creates space and time for victim to run and alert others.

LaurieFairyCake · 08/06/2016 22:36

I think it's stupid advice because I can't run

I can't even walk fast

I'd just tell him to fuck off

Fairylea · 08/06/2016 22:38

I was mugged and they just grabbed my bag out of my hand, I didn't have the chance to throw anything anywhere. However, I knew I would be walking home (not late by the way, 6.30pm along a main road!) so I put my mobile phone in my coat pocket - it meant even though they took my bag I still had my phone to use when I knew I was safe.

I still keep my phone in my coat or pocket now if I'm walking anywhere on my own and advise dd to do the same.

Original poster
Janefromdowntheroad · 08/06/2016 22:39

Run away from kids on BMXs. Not likely

OP posts:
PreciousVagine · 08/06/2016 22:42

They aren't going to chase you. If you've chucked your phone, they'll pick that up and won't give a shit where you've gone. So yes run from them!

PurpleDaisies · 08/06/2016 22:43

I'd act a bit friendly and confused to get him off guard, then kick him in the nuts and call 999.
But I've got one heck of a temper. They'd wish they'd mugged someone else.

I always thought I'd react like that. When I was threatens at knife point I gave him my handbag.

WellErrr · 08/06/2016 22:48

Hmmm a knife might throw me off a bit.

But just some thug in a hood? I'd unleash fury!

WellErrr · 08/06/2016 22:48

Ps hope you were ok Purple Flowers

SistersOfPercy · 08/06/2016 22:50

I bought dd an alarm and a spray as she walks home from her bus at midnight. Spray is red and clips to her belt and whilst sadly not pepper spray will irritate the eyes and dye the attacker red for five days.
The alarm is in her hand from when she gets off the bus and is a push button so she can't accidentally pull a pin out like Mil did in the market one afternoon Blush

We've also had the chat about walking with headphones in at night and keeping her phone in her inside pocket and not being tempted to use it in the dark.

I do hope she never needs to use any of it, but I do agree that throwing the phone would give her enough distraction to set off her alarm or spray the attacker.

bigtapdancingpimp · 08/06/2016 22:51

I got mugged once. Got dragged along the ground and lost a lot of skin on my legs but didn't let go of my bag.

The scars are worth it.

RestlessTraveller · 08/06/2016 22:52

Someone attempted to mug me by lifting the strap of my bag off my shoulder as I walked past. As a result I ended up playing tug-o-war with a 15 year old in the street. After a bit of pull-pull. I stopped, looked him dead in the eye and said "this is ridiculous, just drop the bloody bag" he did and ran off.

However sometime later when I was held up at knifepoint for £10 coins which weren't even mine I handed them over gladly.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 08/06/2016 22:53

It's a useful tip to drop your belongings to the floor but every situation is different. God knows what a mugger would think of my crap phone.

It is great that children are made aware of situations like this and practice a response because in the moment it would be hard to think on your feet.

I remember a road safety guy coming to our school to lecture. He reversed into one of the teacher's cars as he left the school carpark.

Bogeyface · 08/06/2016 22:58

I'd act a bit friendly and confused to get him off guard, then kick him in the nuts and call 999.

Yeah sure.....

Easy to say what you would do until you are frightened out of your wits by someone suddenly threatening you. The reason that no one does that is because it isnt a sensible thing to do, the sensible thing to do is to give them what they want and get away because you dont know exactly how violent or desperate that person is and what they are prepared to do in order to get your money.

Couple that with the fact that if you assault them then, being that they are already stoked to gills on adrenalin, they will likely smash your fucking head in, its not a good idea and no I dont believe for one second that you would actually do it. And I hope to hell that you are never in a situation where you find out.

venusinscorpio · 08/06/2016 23:00

I was walking along a beach in a foreign country with two other women a few years back. This guy came staggering towards us from the road and went towards the person at the back, who was the strongest and most able to defend herself, and looked it. It was just opportunism, he could get to her more easily. Anyway it looked to us like he was trying to kiss her, we didn't know what was going on until it was all over. He pulled a massive kitchen knife on her, but she grappled with him to stop him taking her rucksack, and he ended up running off down the beach with the bag but she ended up waving around this huge knife!

She wanted to run after him as well to get her bag back, until we persuaded her that he had a massive headstart so she wouldn't catch him, and we obviously weren't safe where we were so ought to go somewhere with more people (and go to the police station to report the crime). Pure reflex actions fuelled by adrenaline, I think! Probably not to be recommended!

Jellytotsandtinytots · 08/06/2016 23:02

DD (16) was out in town when a girl attempted to rob her. DD refused to hand over her items and the girl started to fight DD who didn't fight back, DD went into pub and police were called, girl was arrested, I think this was much better than DD losing her money, bank card, phone, and girl still being out on streets imo! Telling kids to hand over there things encourages more muggers to do it!

whois · 08/06/2016 23:02

Meh, my phone is insured. If the mugging was peaceful enough of place the phone gently on the floor and back away. I wouldn't smash it down. I'd always been taught to just give up whatever possession they are after as cash or a phone etc isn't as important as your physical safety.

If held up my knife or whatever is just do exactly what I was told.

PurpleDaisies · 08/06/2016 23:05

I was fine well thanks. But shaken up for a while but no lasting damage! They never found the bugger that did it either. Ah well. Everything was insured (except the bloody library books the uni charged me for).

HeddaGarbled · 08/06/2016 23:06

They aren't saying throw the phone down hard to smash it, they are saying throw it a bit away from you so the mugger(s) go to get the phone which gives you a chance to run. It's good advice.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 08/06/2016 23:07

The point being that it's preferable to lose material possessions rather than your life.

mizuzu · 09/06/2016 00:03

It is just in case they have a knife or something so they are distracted.
I actually had a male try rob me in brixton when i was 17 tbh i think he wanted to rape me as another guy told me he was with 2 other guys who were waiting down the road to the market, the street lights were broke.
He grabbed me by the neck and said to me to follow him because he has a knife, i refused and he tried to grab my phone which I actually fought back, more disturbing is it was in front of a bus stop full of people who did nothing.
I saw the police outside the station and I said he was trying to rob me, they literally did nothing as this guy was pretending he knew me and i owed him money the police then told me to go home on the train
True story.

clarrrp · 09/06/2016 00:03

I'd just tell him to fuck off

Let us know how that works out for you.

Seriously, the amount of people I hear saying stupid things like this or assuming they would be some sort of ninja badass in that situation...the reality is very different.

steff13 · 09/06/2016 03:08

They don't want the hassle of you lobbing your phone or fighting back.

Oh, well, I wouldn't want mugging me to be a hassle for them.

Baconyum · 09/06/2016 03:34

You cannot possibly know how you'll react until it happens. I've been attacked various times, I think the most bizarre was when I was working in a shop and this wee nothing of a guy tried to hold me up with a cricket bat! Each time I have reacted aggressively and defensively, so far it has paid off but I am under no illusions it always will and it wasn't conscious.

Various friends and family have also been attacked and most have not reacted as they thought they would.

The advice to fight back in some way is supported by stats especially in opportunistic rape attempts. Targets that fight back usually have a better outcome. I have to say my own and people I knows experience bears this out. But I would never blame or want them to blame themselves victims that don't.

Ultimately things are just things, people, body parts and mental health/peace of mind are irreplaceable.