To be upset that DP agreed to work tomorrow

[Abbinob]

He doesn't have to. he was meant to have a day off.
We both work. I work 3 days and dp works 4 usually, and haven't had a day off at the same time for about 2 weeks. DP works from 7am-8pm so a long day. I work from 7-3 so he doesn't have long days alone with DS really. I'm back to help with dinner and tidying and things on the days im working.
I'm so tired i could cry. The house is a tip, i was really banking on this day off to have some help and get things done.
Apparently it's probably going to busy tomorrow so he "can't let down the lads" well whoop de fucking doo. I'm sure they would live. Or someone else could come in.
It's not an "important" job as such, nothing terrible would happen if he didn't go in, they would just be a bit busier but fine, or someone else could just do it there are plenty of people who work there mostly part time that would happily do it.
It would be nice if we could actually have a whole day together with the 2 year old but apparently it's more important not to let other people down.

I have MH problems anyway and i need the fucking help. i'm just dragging myself through the days but i can't go on forever or I'll be on the path to another ever delightful episode of psychotic depression and be no use to anyone. he knows this.

I'm so pissed off but i know i'm being a bit unreasonable really. Now it will be next tuesday we're off at the same time but he will no doubt have to do pointless shit for his mum at some point then anyway.

Whilst I don't think you work crazy hours at all, and nor is not having the same day off that shocking to me, it has clearly upset you.

My first thought is that dp can do what he likes with his days off but cannot organise mine. Therefore my question to dp would be what has he organised for childcare for Tomorrow? He might agree to work but can't agree to you looking after ds all day.

I know it's not that bad but i was just really looking forward to being off at the same time, it's so much easier with DS when there are 2 people home.
He knows i was looking forward to spending some time together but he doesn't care.
Added to the fact that usually when we have a day off together he fucks off to help his mother with ridiculous shit (she called us at 6am because she wanted DP to go to the shop to get her fags even though she had some coming in her shopping delivery at 7-8am anyway )
He's going to moan about the flat being a mess no doubt. Last night he asked me to hoover today (i hoovered the day before but didn't yesterday ffs. i do hoover i'm not gross)
of course i haven't fucking hoovered, all my energy that isn't taken up by trying to not be crazy today is being spent on DS and as much tidying as i can so washing up, picking up stuff etc, but i forgot to fucking hoover so no doubt that will be mentioned

Basically, DP works sat, tues, weds, thurs and i do monday, sunday and friday so being at home all day together is rare these days so i just expected him to want to acually spend some time with me but i guess not

I'd be depressed being with this twat! Tell him of the Hoover was so important he can do it himself!

I sympathise but I do think you are being a little unreasonable.

Hang on, your DP asked you to hoover? Is he unable to do it himself?? WTF? I would have dumped the hoover in front of him and walked off!

First, if this is paid overtime, can't knock him for earning a bit of extra money. If he's paid a monthly salary, will he get this time back in lieu?

Next, you talk about your mh. Are you getting help for this? Do you have a wider support network?

This is what I would do tomorrow: Forget any major housework. Have a lie in with DC and then pack a picnic, feed the ducks, have an ice cream and chill!!! Stop spending every day off cleaning and give yourself a break until you are feeling strong.

Tell DP as calmly as you can that you need help, maybe work out who does which chores. Look after yourself because your dc needs their mom. Good luck 🍀 x

Sorry you're feeling so wobbly OP. Mental illness is crap. Have you shown your DH this stuff from Mind? Might help him realise you could do with a bit more support.

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/parenting-with-a-mental-health-problem/friends-and-family/

OP, I'm so sorry. It sounds like he's making excuses to avoid home responsibilities. Do you think that might be the case? I could be wrong.

Every time I try and speak to him about mental health issues he just changes the subject really or tells me i just need ti stop worrying because appatently thats jow ot works with anxiety so I don't think he really gets it. It seems like he has all this time to help other people (he's working tomorrow because a colleague is tired has been doing a lot of overtime at other job in the same place and he feels sorry for him apparently)

Oh, the old 'have you tried not worrying about it' line. If only that's how it worked! .

How are you today OP?