To feel loathing a job this much isn't normal

[Okay377]

I hate and dread my job. It's a career I used to love but after a breakdown two and a half years ago I seem to have changed as a person. It's long and irregular hours, think sometimes sixteen hour days and unexpected weekend working, long periods away from home at times. I have some debt, overdraft and a small loan. I rent. I'm single. The salary I earn is above average although nothing outlandish. I can't imagine getting another job that pays the same as I would need to either start a new career or try and apply for minimum wage work. I feel trapped. AIBU to think I should leave my job with nothing to go to? There is a possibility of redundancy pay. I dread work every day.

How old are you? If you're young enough to start again then I'd say go for it - you might have a few years of scrimping and saving but it'll be worth it in the end.

Also, is it definitely the whole career or just the company you work for? Changing company might make a difference.

Must feel awful to dread it every day. You do sound trapped - and perhaps a bit burnt out or depressed. Any problems with your colleagues?

I've dreaded every 'grown-up' job I've ever had, but I suffer from social anxiety.

I'm 36. My immediate colleagues are nice - some are good friends but they are jaded and generally the atmosphere is one of 'this is shit'. Management are distant/changing/unsupportive which doesn't help.

jon snow there isn't really scope to change in my immediate field without going freelance. Though you're right, perhaps I should look at smaller changes.

earthbound that's my fear now I'm in this mode

And you're definitely young enough to restart in another field, as long as you could take the financial hit for a few years. Do you have any ideas of what you might like to do instead?

Be brave and change. If you need to upskill why not do that as well? Or change careers? I have just finished a degree (at 53!) to get qualified for my new career (in childcare) which pays about a quarter of what I used to get in financial services, but absolutely love my job now, find it very very satisfying and am a much better and happier person. There were a few years when I had to work in low paid work part time to support the early years in the job until I got promotion, but it was worth it for the general sense of fulfilment that I now have. Take the plunge.

You say you had some kind of breakdown relatively recently. If it was a depressive illness or anxiety based you may not be out of the woods yet. These things can take time to work through the system. Further treatment or a series of counselling sessions may speed up the process.

16 hours a day! I dont know how you do that.

I 100% hear you. It's very sad when you study hard to do something you love, then wind up completely despising it. I think it's also much harder to leave it behind when you did love it once. A break down does change you, and your reserve for stresses and strains gets zapped. I'm sorry I can't offer anything more helpful here, other than telling you that you are certainly not alone.

Get yourself to a life coach.

Make sure it is someone experienced (it is terrifyingly easy to set yourself up as a life coach based on very little).

Seriously, it will change your life. Which is kind of the point. A few hours with a good coach is amazing. They are worth their weight in gold. Even 1 hour will help.

I retrained as a teacher at 37 - I love my job!! :D