Why have I put up with it? He never wanted children in the first place, our oldest wasn't planned, our youngest was but it took a lot of convincing.
And so I accepted that he wasn't going to be a very involved father. With DD1 it was a lot easier, I was breastfeeding so there wasn't much he could do in the night and back then he was working a different job so was working long hours often into the early hours. So it just became the norm that he would sleep in and it was never much of an issue other than me longing for some decent sleep.
He rarely works late now, occasionally he does and I'd never expect anything of him when he's working late. Though I've accepted he's not gonna step up, now I just don't feel like I should be expected to help him out in the mornings either.
He works, I don't. I feel grateful that I'm able to be a stay at home mum and think I have it pretty easy, though I'm able to see the other side and realise how utterfly crappy it is and that plenty/most men help their partners out with the children and housework.
Again, I've just accepted it. I don't even resent him anymore for his lack of help around the house.
Our relationship is pretty crappy.
I stay with him because I have hope that things would improve, I'm not even talking about the sleep thing here.
He's not abusive but there is very little love or affection.
But basically it's just easier, life would be so much more difficult if we seperated.
icklekid
But what did you say to dh when he asked about the parcel? Surely that's the perfect opportunity to discuss how him getting up with you in morning would make it so much easier with 2 dc? Eg. Oh thats great whilst your waiting for delivery could you get dc1 dressed whilst I sort lunches? If you just say no problem then he will presume its no problem...(rightly or wrongly!)
I answered with a brief version of my OP- that I thought he was cheeky for asking, that I didn't have a spare 30 seconds in the morning, that I was annoyed he'd assume I would drop everything to deal with his delivery when he was so selfish with sleep.
It really annoyed me and I went to bed shortly after.
He actually did get up before it arrived. Which was good because it came while I was trying to do one DDs hair while battling the other to put on her socks. We didn't really speak much, I'm still annoyed and this has just made me think more about how utterly depressing the relationship is.
gabsdot
I'm not excusing your dh for not helping in the morning but if you're always so rushed why not get up a bit earlier?
I was expecting someone to say this but edited out a long rambly chunk that explained that! :
DD2's nursery is attached to my 7 year old's school but opens 20 mins earlier. They're relaxed about start time so it's fine if we're late but I like to aim for the start time so she gets her full 3 hours to play etc.
We're rarely there at opening time unless my 3 year old is having a cooperative morning. There's plenty of time if she is, we already get up earlier than we used to and getting up even earlier seems to make us end up later as if we have time to sit around they start messing around more and when it's time to leave they're into something else.
We could get up earier, get out the house earlier, then hang about at the nursery gates for 5 mins, but I'd really rather not as it's no big deal if we're late, I'd just rather not be.
Angelik
op - your partner is a prick. you're better off without. though you would still be fully responsible for everything it would be on your own terms and the release from the resentment you feel would be bliss.
I generally do feel like this.