To be a bit suspicious that friend's DH always plans 'romantic surprise' that cause her to have to cancel her plans?

[MackerelOfFact]

Maybe she's just making excuses to avoid me, but we do have the kind of friendship where we'd both be fine with the other one saying 'sorry, I feel crap, can we reschedule?'

She is currently on ML with a 6 month old DC and lives in the middle of nowhere, miles away from friends and family so doesn't get to see people often. Yet when I make plans to see her, she often flakes the day before saying that her DH has booked a 'suprise' and she can't make it - even though she has plenty of days when she's truly free which these 'suprises' could occur on.

He's a nice enough guy and I'm pretty certain that the 'surprises' do actually take place, but I'm worried his behaviour is a bit controlling. Should I have a word? And how?

Yes, feels like there's something behind it. Presumably she feels she can't say no to his 'surprises'. If my DH pulled this more than once, I'd be saying 'no, I let her down last time so you'll have to rearrange'. Especially if it was a 'shopping trip'

OP, when you next plan to meet up could you say "oh and tell Bill not to plan any surprises for [date] this time!"just to alert her to it casually and see what happens

I like this approach

It is usually me travelling to see her but I get random weekdays off here and there so its easy enough for me to drive over midweek while the traffic is quiet. Not really bothered about that aspect, it's a long trip to do with a baby.

I think the living in the middle of nowhere was a joint decision as far as I know but it isn't close to anyone or anything important to either of them, so it's a bit weird. The DH has a long commute.

I replied to her with "Oh lucky you, have a lovely time. Tell DH he has awful timing though and to stop sabotaging our lunch dates! Let's rearrange soon."

She hasn't replied.