to make my 8yr old DS pay for a shed repair?

[RedCrimson]

Older kids on the street found a trolley type thing (big heavy wheels, metal frame and wooden platform). I told mine NOT to play with it as it's dangerous and I'm scared one of them are going to get hurt badly. DS1 already got hurt by it last week, so I told them to stay off it. I wanted it to somehow go missing, but they've bike locked it to a lamppost.

Anyway....
DS2, 8, was reminded again not to go on it. I went to peel potatoes and next thing I knew, the elderly man from across the way was up here saying, very nicely that they've damaged his shed with it. Turns out DS2 wasn't on it, but was pushing it.

So I took him over to Mr and Mrs X and he apologised for his part in it and I assured Mr and Mrs X that we would repair it ASAP.

I've told DS2 that the cost of the repair (a few slats of wood) will be coming out of his money, as he knew he shouldn't have been playing with it. DH is very handy and will fix it himself, with DS2 helping him.

So, AIBU to make DS2 pay for the consequences of his actions?

How much is the repair, and how much is his available money (savings, pocket money...)

I think it's a brilliant idea, OP. Alternatively, you could also have him work off the costs of the repairs by doing chores for you. I would also be sending him round to the neighbours house with a card and a tin of biscuits.

Actions have consequences. It's important for children to understand this.

YANBU, he was told not to go on it and ignored it completely. Make him pay he will think twice next time.

YANBU. Tbh I would ground him too because there are 2 issues- he damaged someone's property and he showed he can't be trusted to follow your instructions about how to play but I am the strictest mum in the world apparently

I think it's just right. If it was a new shed that would be unfair, but the cost of a few slats taken out of his money should be enough for him to understand he's being punished without it being extreme.

Perfect parenting if you ask me! I imagine your elderly neighbour will be impressed with how you handled it especially if he sees him helping fix it.

A bit of a moot point I would say - you told him not to go on it and strictly speaking he wasn't on it! - perhaps pay half maybe?

I think it would be a lovely gesture if your DH (with DS) can attend to repairing the shed. You indicate that DH is perfectly capable to undertake this, but I think it's an excellent idea that your DS should be involved with helping - I'm sure the elderly couple will appreciate this.

No she told her son not to play with it which he did.

Yanbu to make him pay for the wood.

However I would question why an 8yo who is unwilling to follow basic instructions (explicitly) designed for his own safety is allowed to play out unsupervised. Surely removing this privilege would be appropriate.

totally agree with you - actions get consequences...

...but what fun to play with a trolley like that - add in string at the front and take it to the hilly roads in Brighton :) he will be soapbox racing before you know it!

Yes, I agree, about it being fun, but it's extremely heavy and the bank is very steep. He's normally very well behaved but this time he stepped over the line. I'm a strict parent too. I like to think I'm hard, but fair and he owned up straight away. He's got plenty enough money to be able to pay for a few wooden slats and I'm thinking he won't do something so silly again in such a hurry.

Oh, he is grounded too. The only outside time he'll get is to help out in our garden.