Wibu? How would you have dealt with this minor situation 9 yr old ds?

[Kittyrobin]

Dc have got into the habit of getting themselves a bowl of cereal for breakfast and eating it on the sofa watching tv. Toddler dc sleeps badly so I like to "lie in" until 6.30-7. Dc wake up 6am.

This morning I was up so decided to do a cooked breakfast. When it was ready I told all dc to come and sit at the table to eat. Ds9 said he wanted to watch his programme and eat it on the sofa.

I told him he couldn't, he had to eat at the table with us and he could pause his programme. He got the hump and said he didn't want his breakfast then.

I said he had to come and eat and pause his programme or he could sit on the sofa and not eat and I would turn his programme off until we had finished.

He came and ate, had a lovely breakfast and cheered up. Told me he really liked his breakfast and all was good, however I wonder if my ultimatum was "normal parenting or a bit manipulative?

I know it's not a big deal but I'm questioning my parenting skills. I'd like to know what others would have done in that situation.

Would have done what you did.

What's manipulative in telling your child how things are going to be.

I don't negotiate over stuff like this I run a totalitarian state over such matters.

I do that all the time! You gave him two options..

Its exactly what I would do. So if you are manipulative, so am I.

Sounds like good parenting to me X

I think that lots of parents use a briefs and threats approach to parenting. I know I do.

I have a 9 year old DS and I would not have cooked him a breakfast without asking first if he wanted it. If he said yes then he would be expected to come to the table and eat it with everyone else and a similar ultimatum given if he refused. If he said no I would leave him to do his own cereal in front of the TV as usual. Don't think it's manipulative if you don't want to follow the rules i. e cooked breakfast at the table then you can go without but I do think choices should be given rather than just changing his morning routine without his agreement. Although in my house we are not morning people and people acting out of character in the morning such as cooking breakfast when they don't normally causes grumpiness and confusion so I might not be the best person to reply.

You were not being manipulative, you were parenting!

Looking at it, you could say he was being manipulative (FWIW I don't think he was - just being a normal child wanting to watch his TV programme and stick to his routine), trying to get his own way.

With the joys of modern technology and the ability to pause programmes, it was a win-win situation with all happy.

I do this all the time.

I think I would have checked whether a cooked breakfast was what people wanted. Nice of you to do it though.

Parenting= benevolent dictatorship.
Of course you did the right thing.

I've had the exact conversation a few times with my DS, who is also 9. He gets over it very quickly, like your DS did.

I don't mind sandwiches on the sofa, but cooked food, food that can spill (no cereal on the sofa!) and such like have to be had at the table.

Thank you, it makes me happy to know I acted appropriately. I did check he wanted the breakfast first, he was really keen on the idea.

I think if you were going to change the morning routine you should at least have given some warning and an element of choice. But I like my routine in the mornings and to do my own thing at my own pace, and get quite grumpy if it's changed!

I would have checked this was what he wanted for breakfast but other than that I agree with you completely!

Totally appropriate.

Bribes, not briefs.

I'd have done what you did.

I wouldn't have told him he had to eat but I would have told him he had to turn the TV off and sit at the table with everyone else.

When did we become so scared of parenting our children properly?

I would have done exactly what you did. To be honest the parents who just cave and let the kids do whatever they want all the time are the ones who usually run into more problems later on.

Exactly what I would've done.

Ha. You can see the AIBU from his side

Ive been sorting out my own breakfasts for god knows how long, and ive enjoyed my cereal whilst sitting watching TV on the couch. AIBU to be pissed off that my mum made me sit at the table on the one day she decides to get up at the same time as us and make breakfast? Pfft, she thinks she rules the place

Thanks for all the replies

And deVelvet hehe yes and he would probably add: "all my friends mums let them eat cooked breakfasts on the sofa, my mum is so unfair!"