To not want Office to tell me I need to shave my legs?

[AliceInWonderland3]

I got an email this week from Office trying to sell me summer shoes, the email also told me not to forget to shave my legs.

AIBU to not want a business who wants female customers telling them they need to shave their legs? I shave my legs because I know people I encounter day-to-day will be horrified by body hair on a woman, but I don't need a business trying to make me feel bad if I choose to go outside without doing so. Or trying to make me feel disgusted by something natural

"Seriously, are people genuinely offended?"

No, I'm not offended. Did I say I was?

I have sons as well shark.

I will bring them up to accept women as they are but as they have probably never seen a woman with underarm hair, never seen a woman with leg hair - they think it's normal to expect it. As do other female children.

No one is saying that sexism doesn't affect men, they are saying it does not effect them the same way and not nearly as much.

(Sorry about the mangling of affect/effect, I'm never sure which one it is so used both )

I have sons too. I do not fear for them.

It's affect, by the way

Men are nowhere near as targeted for this kind of shit as women. Yes I agree that there is more and more aimed at men but its really nowhere near the scale its thrust upon women. We get bombarded from all corners. All year round there are "items" on TV on how to either get your beach bikini body back, how to shift those Christmas pounds and how to fit back into that little black dress. I think that its terrible that its starting to filter through to men and young boys too, but just because it is, it doesn't mean that we just have to accept that its happening. Its not "over thinking" or "looking to be offended" it's about tackling a very real and growing problem in society. One that yes, IS predominantly aimed at women.

Is it really that different to being told 'don't forget the beers!' or something in an email promoting BBQs?

You might not want to do it, in which case don't do it. I doubt Office care - and they definitely can't enforce it. I doubt it's a value judgement against those who would prefer not to.

"Is it really that different to being told 'don't forget the beers!' or something in an email promoting BBQs?"
I think the big difference is drinking beer is fun and I don't see a problem with having a few drinks being associated with a BBQ. Shaving your legs isn't fun and requires you to set time aside to do so before you do anything where someone may see your legs. I don't think shaving your legs should be associated with wearing sandals or sunshine, or at least not just for women, which is what makes it sexist.

Someone else said what do you expect, they're trying to sell you something and joked that they should get offended by fake tan companies. The point is Office sell shoes, not razors, so there's no benefit to them making women who haven't shaved feel inferior to those who do. I understand that a fake tan company wants to make me feel like I need to be darker to feel happy in the same way a chocolate company want me to be unhealthy and eat lots of chocolate (although there's now regulations on this). But as someone else said shoes are supposed to be something anyone can buy without being being body shamed, so why did Office tell me I need to shave my legs if I wear their sandals?

This thread really does highlight how ingrained sexism is, that women feel when another woman speaks out when they see something that they don't believe to be right that they're simply having a child-like tantrum, or being difficult. It shows how much further we still need to go for all women to feel like they can have a voice without a man's approval, that we can be taken seriously and not told to be quiet when we speak our minds. But yay for all the people on here who get it!

I don't shave at the moment. If people don't like my legs they can just lump it.

Office should be picked up on this. It should not be implied women have to remove hair.

agree 100% OP

If you start to ring the "sexism" bell

That's right up there with 'The PC brigade' and 'Health and safety gone mad.'

I have a son as well as daughters. I am not offended. Angry, yes. I've got a responsibility to do what I can to make sure that all my DC are treated equally in the future. But yeah, I get it that some people don't give a shit. It's only women being told to shave their legs innit?

It's not hard to spot the people who genuinely don't understand the issue, and the ones who won't.

OP, can you give us a pic of the relevant bit of email?

Here is the email, the shaving your leg was the tagline of the email (the actual email contains pictures advertising their summer shoes).

My responsibility to my daughters is to make sure they know there is nothing wrong with being a woman, they don't have to be ashamed to like something "girly" if they do, they can wear pink and glitter, they can fight in a boxing ring if they chose do, they can join the army, become a scientist or a nail technician, they are not victim, they are not weak, they have exactly the same opportunities and rights in this country as their brothers (sadly, not worldwide) - realistically, probably more! They also have a brain and can recognise that there are very obvious physical differences between men and women, and know that does not mean that one is the victim of the other.

Oh, and if they want to shave their legs, they can and it doesn't mean they are waiting for men's approval. If they don't want to shave their legs, again, who cares. If they ever feel inferior because an advert makes a jokey comment or tell them not to forget their mascara, then I have seriously failed as a mother! They are more welcome to speak out (and boy they do!), but they will never have to feel bad to be female.

Actually, I think the whole idea was offensive but the actual thing you posted is fucking offensive.

Thank goodness this discussion could not be completed without letting us know that everything is fine for women - it's men who really suffer these issues. Women are known for being carelessly self centred so it's good to be back o track.

Yes abbie... what do you think that is... is it just plain old garden variety denial or a form of "I'm alright and my daughters are alright and so therefore all of you who feel worried about this insidious body shaming are obviously wrong and it's the men we really need to concern ourselves with"?

I think it's easier sometimes to just close one's eyes to the workings of a patriarchal society as all this overthinking can get so tiring sometimes

Actually, now I've seen the message I am offended!

YANBU, it may seem minor but that kind of messaging is both constant and total bollocks.

So everyone should now take a picture of their hairy legs and armpits (don't do your crotch) showing normal women's bodies with hair on and tweet it to Office I suppose.

abbie

Nicely put.

"Show a little leg" is twee and patronising. Women wear clothes, they don't "show a little leg". And "Just don't forget to shave them" after the above implies that you should only "show a little leg" if you've shaved them. That's where the problem is. Women don't "forget" to shave their legs, they choose whether to; so that was clearly written by a man.

is it just plain old garden variety denial or a form of "I'm alright and my daughters are alright and so therefore all of you who feel worried about this insidious body shaming are obviously wrong and it's the men we really need to concern ourselves with"?

Yeah, possibly but I also think that lots of women are terrified that if they don't put men first, there could be consequences - in other words, they are so used to putting men before women that they don't know what would happen if men weren't foremost in their minds.

What would you see if you looked beyond men?

Interesting point abbie... because men have always been at the forefront of our society and hence it might feel like a complete breakdown of social order to start thinking about women and their ideas and needs above those of men.

'Show a little leg' - to whom? Who is looking at women's legs, generally?

'Don't forget to shave them first' - why? So they are more visually pleasing to the onlooker? Or because women are genetically predisposed to enjoy shaving body hair off and getting shaving rash?

It's just so clearly centred around the male gaze. If that doesn't bother you, rock on. On the other hand, some people recognise patterns in the messages that permeate society, like memes. This is an example of the leg-shaving, man-pleasing, female-body-shaming meme. Other memes exist also. Some people, including me, think that this particular meme shouldn't have a place in an email trying to sell you shoes.

Sharknad0 I agree girls should be raised to be strong women who aren't influenced by emails, but its hard for the majority of girls growing up in a world that constantly bombards them with sexist messages. A business that wants female customers should treat them with respect instead of reinforcing the message that they are disgusting for a natural part of their bodies. Everyone should get a choice if they shave their body or not, but women do not get much of a chance when an email like that is sent in the name of selling shoes.

Of course you must shave your legs ( Preferably with a specially marketed pink razor)

If you didn't waste a significant proportion of your energy worrying about how you looked, how on earth would the good companies of this planet market to you? You might not consume their products, or worse still, think critically about stuff.