Yes, ok, I know I am really. Not quite sure why except that I have been single for 2 years, divorced for about 6 months, and just feel a bit grumpy about it all. I hated the whole dating game first time round and now, having been out of it for years and in a whole different situation, hate it even more.
I'm rarely in a position to meet men anyway, and when I do I just don't feel comfortable enough to just relax. If I like someone I go so far to hide it that I may as well not be there - always have done. There's no way I could ask anyone out - I'd feel too much like the cliche of late-30s divorcee chucking themselves at anyone available. There are a couple of guys that have caught my eye but from a distance. I met someone really lovely yesterday but he's the brother of a friend which somehow seems off limits and even if it wasn't, there's not a chance he would ask for my number or anything (I don't feel particularly attractive at the moment and know I give off blocking vibes).
I don't need someone right now, my children are still little and I am about to start a degree. But it would be nice in the future and I can't see how it would ever happen. It all seems like such a complicated dance and I CBA/don't have the confidence/worry about looking like a cliche/etc etc.
Just feel all ranty and disgruntled about it all (doesn't help that XH is seeing someone - while I'm truly pleased for him it seems a little unfair that he's in a position to have a social life and I'm not!)
This all seems a little heavier written down - it's mostly lighthearted grumpiness, and although I probably seem rather desperate I'm not although some hot sex would be nice honest!