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AIBU?

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Original poster

Help - Sweary neighbours - WWYD?

26 replies

LondonKiwiMummy · 05/06/2016 16:01

My problem is one of the traditional joys of terraced housing. In nice sunny weather, my Antipodean flatsharer neighbours enjoy sitting outside day and night in the garden drinking. Fine - it's their garden to enjoy - but bloody hell, the swearing.

I swear a fair bit myself when the situation calls for it, but each sentence has at least 4 "fucks" in it, and they usually refer to each other as "cunts". "Oi Davo you fucking cunt, get me a fucking beer you useless fucking " etc. Women are "cunts" or more typically "dumb cunts".

It's driving me mad. I hate hearing it. And I've got DS and DD now trying out some of their newfound vocabulary. I find myself trying to keep the kids out of garden in the afternoons.

What the hell - if anything - can I do? I wanted to see if the wisdom of Mumsnet had any suggestions.

I am ready to go round and have a chat but worried I'm just being a pearl clutching neighbour reaching for my smelling salts at a bit of bad language. (Actually, I may have to send DH, as otherwise I'm sure to hear something about "the dumb cunt from next door , etc.)

I do know their landlord is a very lovely genteel man and I am rather tempted to call him instead as I know lease renewal time is in October.... But he's also elderly and I might be putting him in a difficult position so I've held off complaining to him about some of their other behaviour (parties, rubbish, mess, etc).

WWYD? if suggestions involve a super soaker water pistol or building a 16ft fence with razor wire at the top, I'm definitely ready. Grin

If I can't do anything, I'd welcome your suggestions for theoretical vengeance on my potty mouthed compatriots.

OP posts:
DefinitelyNotAJourno · 05/06/2016 16:03

Tell the cunts to shut the fuck up

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 05/06/2016 16:06

Well I think in fairness you do probably have to go round (or your DH) and " 'ave a word", because otherwise they're not going to possibly even realise you have small children who can hear.

They might turn out to be decent blokes and rein it in; or they might turn out to be ignorant dumb fuckers who don't give a rat's arse about it - in which latter case then rat them out to the landlord. I'm sure there are some by-laws somewhere about obscenities and pollution...

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 05/06/2016 16:08

www.problemneighbours.co.uk/rights-under-noise-act.html try this.

Stratter5 · 05/06/2016 16:10

Ok, I have no problem with swearing, and can keep up with the best of them, but I can see your point. You are going to have to go round, and explain you have small children with big flappy ears.

OurBlanche · 05/06/2016 16:10

Just call over the fence - Oi! Language gentlemen please, there are small kids around and I really do not appreciate them practising their new words at school.

Repeat every single time you hear them. EVERY SINGLE TIME

IthinkIamsinking · 05/06/2016 16:13

I think you will need to have a quiet word. They might not realise how loud they are being. I would certainly have to say something especially if I had small children.

ApocalypseSlough · 05/06/2016 16:13

You're more likely to get a good response from Aussies than home grown swearers tbh.
OurBlanche's wording is great.

Gide · 05/06/2016 16:20

What OurBlanche says. Every single fucking time. If that isn't working, landlord.

Emptynestx2 · 05/06/2016 16:20

You'll have to just speak to them, they probably don't realise it's offensive. just be non confrontational and say it's because of the children.

kinkytoes · 05/06/2016 16:25

I used to call people out (teenagers too), on swearing in front of my young dss. Mostly people respond positively, in fact I can't remember a time when they didn't. Your neighbours might be completely reasonable.

acasualobserver · 05/06/2016 16:41

I'm not sure razor wire has any sound reducing properties.

Mouikey · 05/06/2016 18:11

I might go round and say "hey guys, I'm the dumb c**t from next door, and whilst I don't have a particular issue with your swearing, my young kids have started to call me by these names and I am worried that this may spill out to their teachers etc. Any chance you could tone it down a couple of notches?" Its a bit passive aggressive, but most Aussies will take it in their stride and may approach a more humorous approach (although it doesn't sound like it when typed out!!)

SusannahD · 05/06/2016 18:15

I would say something if they don't reign it in then I would go to the landlord.

storminabuttercup · 05/06/2016 18:18

Just ask them to reign it in, they will probably be mortified that they can be heard.,I know the C word is thought of as horrid by some but I know people who use it like these guys and they really don't realise how some people hate it.
If they don't stop buy an air horn and blast it for 20 seconds after the first swear word of every sentence...

EarthboundMisfit · 05/06/2016 18:21

I'd wait until next time it happens and have a jolly chat about it over the fence, just gently remind them that there are small kids playing out.

worldly123 · 05/06/2016 18:51

How vile.

Go round. Be very polite and reasonable. Say you are concerned. Your children are picking up the language. You could repeat to their faces the words they actually use. See if they flinch as you use them to their face.

I don't know what you could do after that. Maybe speak to landlord, I don't know what to do for next stage.

Luckily, they are renters and won't be there forever. TG.

Asprilla11 · 05/06/2016 18:57

I would ask them to stop/reduce it and be mindful that you have young children.

A friend of a friend swore really bad like this (I swear a fair bit but his was as you have described) but he was a right softy, not aggressive and a pretty decent bloke. Sometimes we are assume people who swear like this will be aggressive and confrontational if we speak to them, but sometimes they are horrified by their own actions.

thrillhouse · 05/06/2016 19:17

They might not even realise. My friend (now a primary school teacher) used to swear like a sailor and it seemed to even get worse around small children. She was mortified every time I gave her a nudge about it.

coco1810 · 05/06/2016 19:24

Exactly what ourBlanche said but maybe accidentally get them with the hose pipe on the next occasion?

Gizlotsmum · 05/06/2016 19:34

I loudly told my children that language like that wasn't acceptable, we didn't use it and I thought it made people sound silly... The neighbours reigned it in fairly quickly...

Gizlotsmum · 05/06/2016 19:35

I know it was PA but he was a big bloke and it worked for me

GeorgeTheThird · 05/06/2016 19:38

I think I might record a bit on my phone while I thought about what else to do.

clarrrp · 05/06/2016 19:39

I had the same issue with my neighbours. When asking them politely to tone it down because our kids are young and I didn't want them to hear, I then kept a diary of their noise for month, took it to the housing executive who sent someone out to fit a noise monitor, and six weks later they were gone. :)

Original poster
LondonKiwiMummy · 05/06/2016 19:47

thanks everyone. I've fallen out with neighbours before and know it's miserable so keen not to make the same mistake again!

I think I will just do the quick chat over the fence: hey guys, small children, would you mind just taking it down a notch with the swearing? Might also mention post 7:30pm they can really let rip (bedtime).

They have been OK the few times we've had to speak for packages etc. I was a bit worried about confronting them as a larger group though so I will have to pick my moment when the main tenants are there without mates.

OP posts:
PiranhaBrothers · 05/06/2016 19:49

I agree that they are probably so used to swearing that they don't even realise they are doing it. Have a friendly word with them, they may be mortified to realise the effect on your children.

I didn't realise how bad my language was until I got a Secret Santa at work - a book of how to swear in 100 different languages. I made a concerted effort not to swear after that, it just needed pointing out.

I still wonder which fucking cunt bought it for me .... (jk)