To want to move to Cornwall so badly

[Musicinthe00ssucks]

It's an impossible dream though. DH and I both live and work in London we have DDs 2 and 4 and grandparents around the corner. We have an average income in London (probably good everywhere else) and our own home. I just can't get the idea out of my head and I feel like we would have such a fantastic standard of living down there. Only problem is lack of jobs, too far from family etc.

Someone please tell me I am being totally unreasonable and that Cornwall is actually a crap place to live - please!!

Tricorne for what it's worth I think you're absolutely right. It's very difficult to reconcile (or understand if you haven't done it - which I admittedly haven't!) giving up every extended period of free time for the whole family to make the extremely long journey.

Of course it was your parent's right to choose but it's now impacting on your lives and your children's childhoods. You sound very lovely!

Tricorne Feeling guilty now about our long term plan to retire abroad... You make a very valid point.

It's a valid point indeed. I'm having much the same issues with my parents who are currently an 8 hour drive away. They were thinking of moving abroad but thankfully they knocked that idea on the head - both have had very serious health issues and it has been hard enough trying to help with them so far away in this country. In relation to this thread though, it is the distance that is the problem, rather than the place itself.

We live just outside Brussels, and Mum lives on the Devon/Cornwall borders. This has now been the case for a decade. When I come back to see her it's a two day trip from Brussels, but we chose to move.

When I was a kid every half term and some of most holidays was spent travelling to East Anglia by train usually (we are talking the 70s and early 80s here), as my gps lived there, and they stayed in situ whilst we moved.

It was the same when we married. Both sets of parents were then in Hampshire, and we were Devon/Cornwall borders. I have been doing the A303 for 30 years now to see parents and to take ds up frequently when he was little, and took him back to Hampshire and Devon when we were posted abroad. For us, it's just part of life, but we are both from Service families, so travelling to see relatives comes with the territory.

My Mum is 76 this year, and we won't be back until she is 79. I go back when she needs me to do so, and I pick her up when she comes to stay, and I drop her back again. She has a great support network of friends and people who can sort things for her, so I don't get too worried.

You don't have to go every half term or holiday.....dh pointed out that his parents were retired, and once my Mum was and we were abroad, that Eurostar is easy, and they can come outside holiday times.

I haven't been back since my Mum, sister and I were called "fucking Emmets" for the crime of quietly walking along a street when I was 16. There was a lot of anti-tourist and anti-English feeling so I didn't bother going again. I certainly wouldn't fancy trying to live there. If you seek quality of life you should widen your horizons - Cornwall is far from the only place you could go.

The foreigners round here are the English

And that's why I (English) am not planning to go again. I've been made more welcome in France, USA, Ireland, Canada, Wales and Scotland.

I have never lived in Cornwall, but my closest friend spent years living there, so I got a fair insight into some of the issues from spending long periods staying with her at various times of the year. I hadn't realised until then quite how poor much of Cornwall is, how much EU regional funding it received, and how deprived some inland areas are.

I met a lot of her friends over the years - generally incomers who adored it there, but who were making fairly significant sacrifices to stay there, often working several, sometimes seasonal jobs which had nothing to do with the qualifications and professional experience from their pre-Cornwall days and in one case living year-round in a caravan with small children. My friend's DP was never able to find work, so was a SAHP during their entire time there, at significant emotional cost.

Having said all that, they now live in the south-east, have a household income which is easily double that of their Cornwall days, and are both professionally much happier and living in an easier, more prosperous place - but they miss their old life.

I'm English and I'm Cornish. I've been out this morning and heard all different languages being spoken. My best friend comes from Poland, another friend came here to live from London to teach at the Truro School, she is asian.
I live in a town with a fishing port and a lot of hotels/holiday lets etc, a lot of people from EE work here.
I am English and have a vote and I welcome people from anywhere.

I agree with a lot of what has been written. It can be insular and parochial, and there are some very ignorant people around and about, but you get that pretty much anywhere, in slightly different forms.

If you are seriously thinking of a move, then do your research and make sure you move to a village with a thriving community, and as mixed as possible (which is not saying much in Cornwall, eg there is one black school kid at my dc's primary).

It's about state of mind for me. Sometimes, it could be the most beautiful sunny day and I might still think 'bloody hell, if I didn't have kids I'd move back to a city'. It IS isolated, and isolating, if you haven't got the tools to tackle that. I also miss the culture aspect. You do have to travel for things like good theatre, but then again you get pretty eclectic, interesting stuff here, as well as the more mainstream theatre tours from London.

State of mind/attitude again though-the reality for me when I lived in a city was that I'd go past a theatre and think 'oh that looks good' but it didn't mean I'd go and see it!

Travel is a pain, but then again so is travelling in a city. My commute now is 15 minutes, though previously it has been over an hour ar good jobs are few and far between (I'm a solicitor). However, once you get your foot in the door and work somewhere for a couple of years, you would soon be familiar with the area and be able to watch out for preferred jobs coming up.

My children are primary age and they adore it here. I can foresee a time when they will not love it so much, and I am totally up for moving on at that point, if it comes. By that I either mean a move into the nearest town, or back to a city or the suburbs to give them career opportunities or whatever. Wherever their paths take them.

I have made some amazing friends. I feel like an integral part of the village in which I live, which is a good mix of people from all over plus locals. There are some negative attitudes from a couple of backward dickheads about incomes, but they are soon shut up when challenged. If small coastal resorts were only ever occupied by people born there they would be mummified and die out.

The internet isn't bad here believe it or not. I'm right in the sticks and I've got superfast etc etc. Took me an age to get it sorted(more to do with BT and Openreach being unremittingly crap as per) but all good now.

The countryside and the beaches do go a long way to make up for any of the downsides.

I feel like posting the view from my bedroom window but you might hate me so I won't

Incomers not incomes!!!

Oh, I never said that despite the downsides, I adore Cornwall and would seriously consider attempting to move there at some point in the future when I hope I will be in a position to not be tied geographically for work. I think Peppermint is right about needing to have the right psychological tools to tackle the environment, though.

And Kneehigh have been responsible for some of the most affecting theatre I've ever seen.

i get it...

I used to commute to london from north cornwall for 9 weeks of summer holidays when my dds where little and they 'de-camped' there with my parents.

I flew from newquay or tok sleeper train.

always wanted to live there full time, but with DP and 4 dds between us and two london based jobs it hasn't happened ...yet !!!!

my ideal is crash pad in london and family home in cornwall

Like you OP I had this dream for years and years, and when DD was about to go into senior school we moved down to Cornwall from the Croydon area.
Three years later and we haven't regretted it one bit.
The locals have been very friendly and welcoming, DD settled straight into her school and has the loveliest of friends I could ever wish for.
We didn't choose the most remotest of places because we knew that DD would want to meet up with her friends at weekends/evenings and it is handy to be able to walk to a village shop for a pint of milk. However the beaches are only 15 mins in the car and we have glorious countryside on our doorstep.
The weather is a bit hit and miss, but that's the same for all of the UK, and the beauty of being here is that you can take advantage of the sun when it happens, you're not trying to cram it all into a fortnight's holiday.
As for work, I'm a SAHM and DH works from home and commutes to London for a few days each month - it works for us.
We have a cinema and the theatres may be a bit parochial but the advantage of that is that the local children regularly get to perform in them as well. Lots of villages have parades and carnivals, the community spirit is there.
Don't give up on your dream if it is what you really want. Plan it out carefully and it may come true.

Another vote for Dorset!

Jurassic coast is stunning! Dorset borders Somerset, Devon, Wiltshire and Hampshire which each offer something different!

Depending on which side you are you could be an hour from Exeter, or 2 hours from London. Although there are touristy areas there is work here, Bournemouth is a major town and Southampton is within an easily commutable distance.

Seriously check it out, I feel so lucky to have been raised here!

I think its horses for courses really.
I live in a beautiful area 30mins commute to work, well paid job for Cornwall but significant drop in wages when moved here.
Property and rent is expensive compared to 20 years ago where it was more in line with the lower wages here.
The weather is wetter then southeast but milder, I had to scrape the windscreen once over winter. Beautiful scenery and can walk to a beach.

Some gigs at Eden and you can now see plays streamed at the cinema.
I gave several local shops in walking distance, a drive to a supermarket, not dissimilar to many small towns I would guess?
Humour can be a little 70's! But where I live most locals can be and are very welcoming and there are a few ethnic minorities living locally and Im not aware of any racism at all. I have experienced being served last in a pub but some years ago. In my work I meet many people and have been told on many occasions they have moved to Cornwall because its not diverse! .

Several people have said dont retire here, 100% agree with that, if you want to move here do it, build networks. So often you see people who moce here then one gets ill and family are too far away to support.
I think a great place to grow up but limited opportunities for young people so can see a time when my dc will want to leave, however so many of the Cornish people I know would never live anywhere else!

Travel was a big plus for me in Cornwall - we lived halfway between Lands End and Penzance and I worked in Truro and St Austell a few times a week. Loved the chilled out, scenic drives around (beats city driving hands down), but I admit to feeling less than charitable when I was a few miles from home and got stuck behind someone dressed like a cow doing the John O'Groats to Lands End bike ride on a single carriageway road after a 12 hour day!

user I live the other side of Penzance in the place with the clock tower and have to agree with you

CakeyTea my mum still lives very near Croydon and we were brought up there, what part of Cornwall did you decamp to? I'm in the North.

My DH is from Cornwall, and my he wants to move back there but I just don't get it as I'm an "upcountry" girl through and through, and saffron buns, pasties, clotted cream and days out to Pool market just aren't enough for me.

I'm not aware of two tier pricing, what was that for?

When I lived in Devon, car park prices increased a lot in the summer, but locals have to pay the inflated prices as well although there may be season tickets on offer.

If you go to Newquay swimming pool for example there's one price for the locals and a higher price for visitors.

I note someone has mentioned EU funding. It is very poor. And transport is getting worse, not better. Plymouth airport closed, Penzance heliport closed, and the rail line is very vulnerable (sea wall at Dawlish). There was much talk of possibly reopening a rail line across the top of Dartmoor but I can't see it happening.

I love to daydream about moving to Mowzel. Love it there. DH hates Cornwall though due to family members he's NC with and has an irrational fear of running into them even though they live nowhere near Mowzel!

I don't think there is a two-tier pricing system at all! What actually happens is that either prices get pushed up all year round for everyone, due to the better off tourists (see house prices(!!!), or even Zennor pub prices) or prices go up in the summer. That's because that's the only time a lot of these businesses make any money at all, and believe me it's not only the tourists have to pay the higher rate.

People have covered most of the practical aspects, but I just wanted to put a word in about why some of the anti-English/tourist/"emmet" (though I've never heard people say that as anything other than a joke/self-parody) feeling exists. Speaking of joking, the Cornish are great piss-takers, out of themselves and everyone else, so do consider the fact that whatever you've seen and taken offence at was just a joke. (Cornish Only Beach for example - does anyone actually think that's a serious thing?! Were there bouncers checking your birth certificate posted along the shoreline? Some wag just had a couple of beers and thought it was funny...)

Cornwall is one of the most deprived areas in EUROPE, let alone the UK. This means in the worst cases there are children growing up illiterate, starting school barely knowing their own names, with incredibly poor health (rotten teeth etc). This is due to cycles of very poor education, acute poverty, crap opportunities.

Many/most Cornish children don't get a lot of chances to raise their aspirations, those I know who did it either had ambitious, engaged parents (whatever jobs those parents did) or a kind of inbuilt determination. At my school careers advice was one 10 minute slot aged 16 when they asked if we were leaving school or going to sixth form. Anyone who said "sixth form" wasn't asked anything else, just shunted out.

Even those kids who do engage at school, pass some exams, even go to college or university, can very, very rarely make a living back in their homes. That's because of the lack of job variety, but also because of the tourists and second home owners driving up the house prices. Not an opinion (or even a judgement) - just a fact. Other parts of the UK with similarly crappy job options/low pay have a better balance because the house prices are more in keeping with wages.

So in areas where people have experienced anti-English feeling, there's a chance that the people doing it are joking. But if they're not, they've probably had a life of shit job opportunities and hardly any money, and are now seeing people with loads of money come in and (as they see it) deprive their children of the homes that should have been theirs.

Lovely, fair posts from Cakey (:)) and Peppermint.

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