To be sick of being asked if I just got married.

[PeppaTheFirst]

My divorce came through a couple of weeks ago and I have started the long process of changing all official things (bank/store accounts/dvla etc) back to my maiden name. I am sick to death of chirpy voices and simpering smiles asking 'ooh have you just got married?' I don't wear a ring nor do I look particularly happy when doing these tasks. But even if I did look (or sound) deliriously happy surely the professional thing to do is to smile, ask for the appropriate documents and then make the judgement as to how to proceed with small talk. Reason was domestic abuse (not something a great deal of people know) - taken a long time for me to accept things and put the wheels in motion. Just been going with it but all set to give the next person to say this a right mouthful! Am I being a bit over-sensitive?

I've been there too. Would suggest a breezy "even better, divorced!" said with a big smile.
Congrats, btw.

Interesting thread. When my divorce is finalised I intend to go back to my maiden name (which I use professionally anyway, so won't be a massive change for me day to day), so it's good to read other people's experiences.

I think I will offer the information before anyone has the chance to congratulate me on my marriage! I am 45 so maybe people won't assume that anyway.

Well done OP.

This is incredible Peppa you aren't being over sensitive at all. I'm amazed that organisations are chatting so informally to clients about their personal details. Surely nowadays people are aware there could be any number of reasons for this request and know not to jump to one conclusion. Really they shouldn't be commenting at all unless the customer happens to mention it.

Sorry, this has really annoyed me.

Let's face it divorce isn't that unusual is it.

Customer facing people should be able to make chitfuckingchat, if that is deemed to be so desirable, without making assumptions about personal circumstances.

Hi everyone, I know this is an old thread but very relevant to me.
I'm just working out how to change my name post divorce to a new one - not maiden as were issues there.
Any practical advice? Emotional advice? Not sure where to start with it all. I have two DC too with their father's name.
Thank you.

This is why forcing people to make chit chat is wrong.

It wouldn't happen at the funeral directors. They just get straight down to business and are polite and respectful. This enforced nosiness and passing comments on peoples personal stuff is just wrong.

Companies should revert back to the polite and helpful approach, but no more than that.

When I got divorced, many years ago, so many people just said Congratulations when I was changing my name. My response was "well thank you, divorce is such a wonderful thing" and smile sweetly. It would amuse me to watch peoples reaction.

I would say its unthinking idle chatter.

I reverted to my maiden name and most people assumed I was getting divorced and asked if I had my Decree wotsit. It confused them to say I'm reverting to my maiden name because I want to...said politely.

Sky just didnt get it and at ont point I was asked "well how do we know you're telling us the truth". I cancelled the same day

I got married 6 months ago and people are still popping up saying 'ooh did you get married?' Whilst I know they're just trying to be polite, if a name change was associated with unhappy events, I can see how it would soon get annoying to be reminded of it/have to explain it to every Tom, Dick and Harry.